Advice and Support from Thousands of Users Just Like You

Dating First-date jitters? Hoping for a second date? Moving on to a full blown relationship? Share your journey and advice here.

Reply
Page 4 of 4 « First 2 3 4
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
lucky173 lucky173 is offline
lucky173's Avatar

lucky173 says "Life is a garden... dig it!!" :-)

Veteran

Join Date: Feb 2008

Posts: 1,377

See profile



sc - good job!


I can't answer why you feel like a heel though, but that'll pass in a minute or two. Think of it this way, you would have felt worse continuing on with things and not feeling the butterflies, right??Personally, I opt for feeling the butterflies ;-)
- May 2nd, 2009, 10:49 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#31   Reply With Quote
scarlet13 scarlet13 is offline
scarlet13's Avatar

scarlet13 and i found out where my edge is and it bleeds into where you resist

Virtuoso

Join Date: Apr 2009

Posts: 3,878

See profile

bwr wrote :

The bottom line with online dating is this: the only way to really determine chemistry is to just cut to the chase and meet in person. After doing online dating for a while, it's important to take the impersonal factor out of it quickly and meet. The truth only comes out then.


To me, the type of woman I want to date knows what she wants and sincerely wants a relationship. She either wants to date me or not based on my picture and profile and maybe 1 intro email. If she is truely interested in me, she will keep it simple and make it easy to meet or at least talk on the phone


Taking forever to respond, wanting to just stick to email forever, difficult to persuade her to meet, playing little elusive games in the email, etc are all red flags that I could be a backburner rebound guy for her or she is a nutcase/flake or is still married or something.


I don't play games or be elusive at all if I am genuinely interested in someone, so I expect the woman to be the same if she is genuinely into me. If she really isn't into me, why should I waste my time with her - only bad things will happen the longer I stick with her.
i agree. you gotta be in it to win it!


one of my first matches asked to meet after our first phone conversation, then kept waffling about when. meanwhile, another match and i moved quickly from email to phone then to a date, and it's got potential. when i informed match #1 that i was seeing someone he actually got annoyed, LOL.
- May 2nd, 2009, 12:38 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#32   Reply With Quote
lost22 lost22 is offline
lost22's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Apr 2009

Posts: 2

See profile



Just few comments:

Before we will sign up for dating world in e-harmony,


shouldn’t we do some healing “alone” before we will


make some false promises to other people, by posting our profiles on dating sides?
If we need to went, or just find people with similar problems like we have,


there so many support groups for us.



Why do we waste others people time under false assumptions?
Why we do disrespect them??
- May 2nd, 2009, 04:47 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#33   Reply With Quote
calmlake calmlake is offline
calmlake's Avatar

calmlake Is she looking for me? I'm looking for her...

Newbie

Join Date: Mar 2009

Posts: 9

See profile



My experience with regular vs. eh OC is apparently very unusual. One of my matches gave meher personal email, which I took to meanshe liked and trusted me and so I responded usingher email. After a week of this, I explained to herthat I preferred to communicate via eharmony at least sometimes because I like to see her picture when I write to her. I also like to look over her profile and our previous exchanges via guided communication which often give me ideas about things said earlier that I want to follow up on or discuss now that we are in open communication.


We have also decided to take our time and get to know each other better via online communication before meeting. To me this makes more sense than jumping ahead before we know each other very well. When we do meet I hope it will seem like we are good friends already and are very comfortable with each other. I'd love to meet her now, but I think patience is the key as we build a relationship. We are both committed to marrying someone who is a best friend and believe that physical attraction is influenced/enhanced by a close bond.


Is this all that unusual??
- May 2nd, 2009, 09:51 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#34   Reply With Quote
beautifulgenius beautifulgenius is offline
beautifulgenius's Avatar

beautifulgenius I am trying to unbury myself from all the paperwork...........

Veteran

Join Date: Nov 2008

Posts: 1,001

See profile

Yes, this has happened to me also, you are probably better off just closing it. If she wonders why you closed on her, then you re-open and explain the reason behind it

- May 3rd, 2009, 01:16 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#35   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

lil_lamb lil_lamb is offline
lil_lamb's Avatar

Veteran

Join Date: Dec 2008

Posts: 1,267

See profile



oh, we people are emotional creatures. it does just feel weird to go from the eH system to what you consider your intimate sphere, esp. when you are a net newbie. don't know if you can do anything to help the person you've been communicating with get over it faster.
- May 3rd, 2009, 02:36 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#36   Reply With Quote
Emmma Emmma is offline
Emmma's Avatar

Emmma is ready for the weekend!

Quick Study

Join Date: Jul 2009

Posts: 58

See profile

sc4me wrote :
I've been in open communication for 2 weeks with a match. Twice I've offered my personal email address to bypass the awkwared eH email system. The first time she ignored it. She is recently divorced so I asked her if she thought she was ready to date. She answered yes. In my next reply I put my email address at the top, right after "Hi ........"


Next reply she ignores the offer again. So now I've written and asked her why she isn't willing to go to regular email. I have not heard back on that one. Methinks she is NOT ready to date and is just dipping her toe in by using eH. I don't think she is playing a game, but just super cautious.


Or am I being naive?


At what point should I call it quits? Should I just stop answering her emails? (gaming which I don't like) or just be honest and say, "I'm ready to move on and you don't seem to be. You have my email address anytime you'd like to contact me. Please don't be offended but I am going to close our match."


Too blunt?
I think thats a red flag. Anyone can make up a yahoo or gmail account and use it without letting anyone know any personal information.
- July 3rd, 2009, 08:44 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#37   Reply With Quote
aingr aingr is offline
aingr's Avatar

aingr is at home.

Newbie

Join Date: Jul 2009

Posts: 19

See profile

Maybe she is just nervous because the email will include her name. I know mine does. I use yahoo and I am still trying to figure out how to take my name off my emails.
- July 6th, 2009, 08:43 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#38   Reply With Quote
stevex stevex is offline
stevex's Avatar

stevex Life is a blessing, it's a delicatessen.

Volunteer Community Leader

Join Date: May 2009

Posts: 906

See profile

aingr wrote :
Maybe she is just nervous because the email will include her name. I know mine does. I use yahoo and I am still trying to figure out how to take my name off my emails.
After two weeks of communicating with her on eHarmony if she can't trust me enough to give me her phone number or communicate with regular email than will she ever trust me?
- July 6th, 2009, 10:25 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#39   Reply With Quote
56Steve 56Steve is offline
56Steve's Avatar

56Steve is happy.

Quick Study

Join Date: Nov 2007

Posts: 191

See profile

I remember suggesting to one of my OC matches that we go to email since my membership was about to expire. For whatever reason, she offered to meet for coffee before going to email. Maybe she was being cautious. I wasn't feeling any "butterflies" for her, so I closed her out.

I had another match disappear on me after a few regular emails. She also put me on hold. In her defense, she was going through a messy divorce and I could tell she wasn't ready to pursue a relationship. I wish her well.
- July 6th, 2009, 04:59 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#40   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

Reply
Page 4 of 4 « First 2 3 4

Bookmarks

« Dating Mistakes Men Make | Array | What is this guy's deal? »
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“I have been seeing this guy for a little over a month-on Valentine's Day, it will be our 9th date. I have no idea if he is getting me a gift or not but he is taking me out to dinner and has been ... ” – GEF2

Join the “Should I get him a gift???” discussion

“ It kinda has the feel of an interview. I think if you fast track with someone it's probably better to carry on some kind of dialogue instead of sending questions (as you would be doing in GC ... ” – mrflyer

Join the “Are these questions odd” discussion

“Does he know that you are going to be doing all this cooking for him? If not, tell him in the card what your present will be. The fabulous cooking. When he told you that he was giving you a ... ” – newbie40something

Join the “valentine's gift” discussion

“My heart usually leads then I start to use my head a bit too much and end up over thinking everything. I've recently tried using my head more. Being a bit more logical but also keeping my heart and ... ” – AndieIsMe

Join the “In relationships: heart or head?” discussion

“Most of the joy of a Valentine's gift is the meaning and emotions behind it. If I don't share those emotions, I cannot enjoy the gift. So if the gift was candy, you would throw it away rather than ... ” – mrflyer

Join the “No Valentines” discussion

“Normally I would be concerned about this, but the bottom line is that he isn't trying to hide any of this from you. I dated a player once (oops) and he had tons of women on his facebook profile. ... ” – bretagne89

Join the “Female Facebook Friends. Need Advice.” discussion

“Why the assumption that we're eating anything on the first date?” – mrflyer

Join the “What Not to Eat and Drink on a First Date” discussion

“Actual LOL!!!” – PY_2

Join the “Where is my queen charming?” discussion



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:02 am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2010, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.3.0