We're in open communication, but match won't use regular email


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lucky173 is offline lucky173 Post #31  May 2,2009, 9:49am
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sc - good job!


I can't answer why you feel like a heel though, but that'll pass in a minute or two. Think of it this way, you would have felt worse continuing on with things and not feeling the butterflies, right??Personally, I opt for feeling the butterflies ;-)
 
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scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #32  May 2,2009, 11:38am
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bwr,602036 wrote :

The bottom line with online dating is this: the only way to really determine chemistry is to just cut to the chase and meet in person. After doing online dating for a while, it's important to take the impersonal factor out of it quickly and meet. The truth only comes out then.


To me, the type of woman I want to date knows what she wants and sincerely wants a relationship. She either wants to date me or not based on my picture and profile and maybe 1 intro email. If she is truely interested in me, she will keep it simple and make it easy to meet or at least talk on the phone


Taking forever to respond, wanting to just stick to email forever, difficult to persuade her to meet, playing little elusive games in the email, etc are all red flags that I could be a backburner rebound guy for her or she is a nutcase/flake or is still married or something.


I don't play games or be elusive at all if I am genuinely interested in someone, so I expect the woman to be the same if she is genuinely into me. If she really isn't into me, why should I waste my time with her - only bad things will happen the longer I stick with her.
i agree. you gotta be in it to win it!


one of my first matches asked to meet after our first phone conversation, then kept waffling about when. meanwhile, another match and i moved quickly from email to phone then to a date, and it's got potential. when i informed match #1 that i was seeing someone he actually got annoyed, LOL.
 
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lost22 is offline lost22 Post #33  May 2,2009, 3:47pm
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Just few comments:

Before we will sign up for dating world in e-harmony,


shouldn’t we do some healing “alone” before we will


make some false promises to other people, by posting our profiles on dating sides?
If we need to went, or just find people with similar problems like we have,


there so many support groups for us.



Why do we waste others people time under false assumptions?
Why we do disrespect them??
 
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calmlake is offline calmlake Post #34  May 2,2009, 8:51pm
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My experience with regular vs. eh OC is apparently very unusual. One of my matches gave meher personal email, which I took to meanshe liked and trusted me and so I responded usingher email. After a week of this, I explained to herthat I preferred to communicate via eharmony at least sometimes because I like to see her picture when I write to her. I also like to look over her profile and our previous exchanges via guided communication which often give me ideas about things said earlier that I want to follow up on or discuss now that we are in open communication.


We have also decided to take our time and get to know each other better via online communication before meeting. To me this makes more sense than jumping ahead before we know each other very well. When we do meet I hope it will seem like we are good friends already and are very comfortable with each other. I'd love to meet her now, but I think patience is the key as we build a relationship. We are both committed to marrying someone who is a best friend and believe that physical attraction is influenced/enhanced by a close bond.


Is this all that unusual??
 
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beautifulgenius is offline beautifulgenius Post #35  May 3,2009, 12:16am
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Yes, this has happened to me also, you are probably better off just closing it. If she wonders why you closed on her, then you re-open and explain the reason behind it
 
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lil_lamb is offline lil_lamb Post #36  May 3,2009, 1:36am
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oh, we people are emotional creatures. it does just feel weird to go from the eH system to what you consider your intimate sphere, esp. when you are a net newbie. don't know if you can do anything to help the person you've been communicating with get over it faster.
 
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Emmma is offline Emmma Post #37  July 3,2009, 7:44pm
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sc4me wrote :
I've been in open communication for 2 weeks with a match. Twice I've offered my personal email address to bypass the awkwared eH email system. The first time she ignored it. She is recently divorced so I asked her if she thought she was ready to date. She answered yes. In my next reply I put my email address at the top, right after "Hi ........"


Next reply she ignores the offer again. So now I've written and asked her why she isn't willing to go to regular email. I have not heard back on that one. Methinks she is NOT ready to date and is just dipping her toe in by using eH. I don't think she is playing a game, but just super cautious.


Or am I being naive?


At what point should I call it quits? Should I just stop answering her emails? (gaming which I don't like) or just be honest and say, "I'm ready to move on and you don't seem to be. You have my email address anytime you'd like to contact me. Please don't be offended but I am going to close our match."


Too blunt?
I think thats a red flag. Anyone can make up a yahoo or gmail account and use it without letting anyone know any personal information.
 
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aingr is offline aingr Post #38  July 6,2009, 7:43am
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Maybe she is just nervous because the email will include her name. I know mine does. I use yahoo and I am still trying to figure out how to take my name off my emails.
 
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stevex is offline stevex Post #39  July 6,2009, 9:25am
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aingr wrote :
Maybe she is just nervous because the email will include her name. I know mine does. I use yahoo and I am still trying to figure out how to take my name off my emails.
After two weeks of communicating with her on eHarmony if she can't trust me enough to give me her phone number or communicate with regular email than will she ever trust me?
 
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56Steve is offline 56Steve Post #40  July 6,2009, 3:59pm
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I remember suggesting to one of my OC matches that we go to email since my membership was about to expire. For whatever reason, she offered to meet for coffee before going to email. Maybe she was being cautious. I wasn't feeling any "butterflies" for her, so I closed her out.

I had another match disappear on me after a few regular emails. She also put me on hold. In her defense, she was going through a messy divorce and I could tell she wasn't ready to pursue a relationship. I wish her well.
 
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