eharmonyadvice is offline eharmonyadvice — Advice Official Moderator Post #1  April 29,2009, 2:49am

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How do Christians and other morally minded singles succeed at romance in an "anything goes" world?
 
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rix is offline rix Post #2  April 29,2009, 2:49am
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When it comes right down to it, the only thing a person has that they can truly call their own, is their values. Once you sell out your values, there is nothing left!


I know it is tempting to give up, settle for less, and go along with the mentality of the herd.


Butfaith, by it's very nature,believes in not having to settlefor less. If you hold yourself to a certain standard, then why should you expect less in a life partner? Sometimes it feels like trying to find the proverbial "needle in the haystack," but faith is "the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."
 
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A-L is offline A-L Post #3  April 29,2009, 4:49am
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Can't say I was that impressed with this article. Sort of seems like common sense, and something you would have to talk to teenagers about instead of adults who've been around awhile.
 
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Ingytravel is offline Ingytravel Post #4  April 29,2009, 4:58am
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I have to agree with A-L here...


Sorry EHA....this does not really talk about anything that has to do with dating as an adult...More for teenagers finding appropriate friends to hang out with and not the 'wrong crowd'...
 
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Jacquiem is offline Jacquiem Post #5  April 29,2009, 7:58am
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Good morning! I agree with A-L and Ingy.I was hoping for somedeeper insight, but I don't really think there can be any. I think you have to find your moral compass and stay true to it in a way that suits you. We all know about boundaries. Being a Sunday School teacherand youthministry worker, I can go on ad nauseum about boundaries to teens. What they find interesting is that asChristian adult who is single and dating, Ihave the same rules I tell them to consider for myself. That usually shocks them.


For example, I love to dance. Love it! I know lots of Christians who don't go to dance clubs and think it's wrong to, and that's okay if that's their perspective. I, however, don't mind going to a clubwith a date or with my man, but there are definitely boundaries I have for myself that I tell him about up front:
[*]I only likea club where the clientele is 40 and older. The music is usually nicer, at least in the earlier hours of the evening. When they start playing the rap and hip hop, it's time for me to go.[*]If we're still in the getting-to-know-you phase, slow dancing isn't a good idea. Now if we're in a relationship, put those strong arms around me and twirl me round and round![*]I don't dance to songs with sexually explicit, mysoginistic, or violentlyrics. [*]No grinding/humping/dirty dancing! Nocheap thrills for you! Or me!![/list]

I tell potential dates that while I don't have a problem with R rated movies per se, I'm not comfortable with movies that haveexcessive profanity or sex in them (I check the reviews online). A few curse words and an exposed cheek or two is tolerable. Sailor dialogue and full frontal for 5 minutes - too much for me. Violence I'm okay with, I like a good explosion!


I think it's just a matter of letting people know up front what you're comfortable with, what you're not, and finding a happy medium that both of you can enjoy.
 
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angelofmerci is offline angelofmerci Post #6  April 29,2009, 9:04am
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I am in agreement with the others. I was expecting alot more out of this article but instead found only the basics.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #7  April 29,2009, 5:53pm
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eharmonyadvice, wrote :

How do Christians and other morally minded singles succeed at romance in an "anything goes" world?
Very carefully. Or, not very successfully; sort of like porcupines.
 
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sc4me is offline sc4me Post #8  April 29,2009, 6:05pm
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I'm going to answer this a different way. First of all, as a Christian I don't consider myself part of a superior culture or class. I am part of the culture in which I live. Doesn't mean I don't strive for morality, ethics and pursuing a virtuous life. But in their own way most everyone else is too. Frankly, I think we all get there one way or the other. Ultimately it means accepting by faith that Christ died on the cross for "me" too.


The question comes from a society that thinks the "religious right" represents all Christians. Does the name Jim Bakker mean anything to anyone here? Once we are exalted, Jesus is mocked.


You mean to ask if Christians who date have premarital sex. Some do and some do not. I respect both so long as the latter do not think themselves superior to the former.
 
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Jacquiem is offline Jacquiem Post #9  April 30,2009, 6:34am
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sc4me,598610 wrote :

I'm going to answer this a different way. First of all, as a Christian I don't consider myself part of a superior culture or class. I am part of the culture in which I live. Doesn't mean I don't strive for morality, ethics and pursuing a virtuous life. But in their own way most everyone else is too. Frankly, I think we all get there one way or the other. Ultimately it means accepting by faith that Christ died on the cross for "me" too.


The question comes from a society that thinks the "religious right" represents all Christians. Does the name Jim Bakker mean anything to anyone here? Once we are exalted, Jesus is mocked.


You mean to ask if Christians who date have premarital sex. Some do and some do not. I respect both so long as the latter do not think themselves superior to the former.
Excellent answer, sc4me. I ditto your sentiments.
 
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Nanetha is offline Nanetha Post #10  April 30,2009, 8:49am
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Excellent posts and comments. It is very difficult for meto "ride in the middle"politically. I was and am still very strong in my Chritian faith, however, I am not a neo conservative either. I recently met the most wonderful man but he was so anti-Obama. He loved George W. Bush and had no respect whatsoever for our current president. He was way to far to the right and he shoved it in my face allot. Plus he naturally "assumed" because I went to church and loved the Lord, that I LOVED George W. That is not true at all for me. I had "respect" for our previous president, but I did not have any faith in his ability to run our country. Why is it that people assume things when they shouldn't. I would never "push" my belief on someone, especially not someone I was just getting to know. It's okay to have two party households, it makes for interesting conversation. But to "assume" someonehas a certain political agenda is "turnoff".
 
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