should i close this guy or leave it alone


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treeye is offline treeye Post #1  April 27,2009, 7:20am
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I've gone out with this guy on eharmony for three months (non-exclusive) (eight times); he was giving me mixed signals and I made move on our last date ( simply holding hands and kissing, not overboard), he was responsive but dropped out of the face of the earth after the date. I sent him an email but got no reply. he simply evaporated! now i think i'm not planning to contact him any more. it's been three weeks since our last date.





my question is should i close him on eharmony too? i guess it's more for myself for not giving myself false hope. or i should just leave it like this?
 
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DDjr is offline DDjr Post #2  April 27,2009, 7:22am
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It sounds like you can contact each other via other means than EH, right? If so, just close him as "we are communicating outside EH".
 
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treeye is offline treeye Post #3  April 27,2009, 7:54am
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if he's not interested in contacting me anymore, why he still leave me open on his eharmony account?





should i completely cut him loose now? do you think if he ever contacts me again, should I respond to him or take his disappearing act as a red flag and write him complete off now?


thanks.
 
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scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #4  April 27,2009, 8:15am
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some people just aren't as organized on their EH account. or, he is busy seeing other women now, and wants you on the sidelines if he can't fing the BBD.


i would close him and move on. if he does contact you , then you have to decide if you want to give him a second chance or not. i personally wouldn't.
 
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argytunes is offline argytunes Post #5  April 27,2009, 8:47am
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Why not ask yourself this question: "Would I be happier and emotionally healthier if I choose to close him out? Or would I be miserable if the relationship continued in its current state?"


3 months of datingis plenty of time for some men and women to tell if the spark is real. Then again, there are men and women who could date each other for 3 years with the relationship going absolutely nowhere!


How much of yourtime do you want to invest in him?


argytunes
 
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BlueEyedVal is offline BlueEyedVal Post #6  April 27,2009, 8:58am
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I say close...you can give the "communicating outside of eH" excuse, like DDjr suggested.


You say its been 3 weeks since your last date. Has it been 3 weeks since you last heard from him? If so, I'd definitely take that as a sign, close him, and move on. Especially if he's not responding to your email - he's sending you a message.


It's so annoying, but it seems to happen ALL. THE. TIME. Not sure why people can't be honest about how they feel (or don't feel) about a person, but cut your losses now. Move on and find a new match.
 
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ANWmo1 is offline ANWmo1 Post #7  April 27,2009, 10:13am
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I agree with the other posters. I'd close him out with the option of communicating outside of eH. How did you leave the last communication? Did he say he'd call you or you'd call him? Have you tried contacting him?


I know I would feel better, like a weight lifted off me, if I just closed him. When I close someone that ignores me like that (or similarly) I often feel better. I just know that they are not worth my time.


In the movie He's Just Not Into You, the classic line is if a guy is truly interested he'll call. Remember that!
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #8  April 27,2009, 10:19am
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I can see no reason to keep him open


Unless he is on deaths doorstep in the hospital then it is obvious that he is not interested. Or he could be a major commitment phobe and when you held his hand he completely freaked. In which case I doubt that you would want someone like that anyway.
 
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emanze is offline emanze Post #9  April 27,2009, 10:33am
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Well, let's review:


1. You made the moves on the date


2. He "disappeared off the face of the earth" after the date


3. You emailed him but he didn't even have the decency to reply


Honestly, don't you think you are worth more than this?? Who knows why he is keeping you open. He is dating someone else and keeping you as a benchwarmer just in case she dumps him. He feels guilty and can't bring himself to do it. He's lazy. Who knows, who cares.


If I was you, I would close him now. And take the lesson that you deserve to be treated better than this!
 
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Vonniebelle is offline Vonniebelle Post #10  April 29,2009, 9:31am
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treeye, wrote :

I've gone out with this guy on eharmony for three months (non-exclusive) (eight times); he was giving me mixed signals and I made move on our last date ( simply holding hands and kissing, not overboard), he was responsive but dropped out of the face of the earth after the date. I sent him an email but got no reply. he simply evaporated! now i think i'm not planning to contact him any more. it's been three weeks since our last date.





my question is should i close him on eharmony too? i guess it's more for myself for not giving myself false hope. or i should just leave it like this?
When in doubt, close out and move on. There are other fish in the sea. Pray always.


Vonniebelle
 
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