Advice and Support from Thousands of Users Just Like You

Dating First-date jitters? Hoping for a second date? Moving on to a full blown relationship? Share your journey and advice here.

Reply
Page 1 of 2 1 2
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
treeye treeye is offline
treeye's Avatar

Quick Study

Join Date: May 2008

Posts: 124

See profile



I've gone out with this guy on eharmony for three months (non-exclusive) (eight times); he was giving me mixed signals and I made move on our last date ( simply holding hands and kissing, not overboard), he was responsive but dropped out of the face of the earth after the date. I sent him an email but got no reply. he simply evaporated! now i think i'm not planning to contact him any more. it's been three weeks since our last date.





my question is should i close him on eharmony too? i guess it's more for myself for not giving myself false hope. or i should just leave it like this?
- April 27th, 2009, 08:20 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#1   Reply With Quote
DDjr DDjr is offline
DDjr's Avatar

Enthusiast

Join Date: Dec 2008

Posts: 802

See profile



It sounds like you can contact each other via other means than EH, right? If so, just close him as "we are communicating outside EH".
- April 27th, 2009, 08:22 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#2   Reply With Quote
treeye treeye is offline
treeye's Avatar

Quick Study

Join Date: May 2008

Posts: 124

See profile



if he's not interested in contacting me anymore, why he still leave me open on his eharmony account?





should i completely cut him loose now? do you think if he ever contacts me again, should I respond to him or take his disappearing act as a red flag and write him complete off now?


thanks.
- April 27th, 2009, 08:54 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#3   Reply With Quote
scarlet13 scarlet13 is offline
scarlet13's Avatar

scarlet13 How many Fates turn around in the overtime?

Virtuoso

Join Date: Apr 2009

Posts: 2,730

See profile



some people just aren't as organized on their EH account. or, he is busy seeing other women now, and wants you on the sidelines if he can't fing the BBD.


i would close him and move on. if he does contact you , then you have to decide if you want to give him a second chance or not. i personally wouldn't.


- April 27th, 2009, 09:15 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#4   Reply With Quote
argytunes argytunes is offline
argytunes's Avatar

argytunes Misty and I are still trying to find a house closer to the beach

Veteran

Join Date: Feb 2008

Posts: 1,006

See profile



Why not ask yourself this question: "Would I be happier and emotionally healthier if I choose to close him out? Or would I be miserable if the relationship continued in its current state?"


3 months of datingis plenty of time for some men and women to tell if the spark is real. Then again, there are men and women who could date each other for 3 years with the relationship going absolutely nowhere!


How much of yourtime do you want to invest in him?


argytunes


- April 27th, 2009, 09:47 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#5   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

BlueEyedVal BlueEyedVal is offline
BlueEyedVal's Avatar

Quick Study

Join Date: Apr 2009

Posts: 66

See profile



I say close...you can give the "communicating outside of eH" excuse, like DDjr suggested.


You say its been 3 weeks since your last date. Has it been 3 weeks since you last heard from him? If so, I'd definitely take that as a sign, close him, and move on. Especially if he's not responding to your email - he's sending you a message.


It's so annoying, but it seems to happen ALL. THE. TIME. Not sure why people can't be honest about how they feel (or don't feel) about a person, but cut your losses now. Move on and find a new match.
- April 27th, 2009, 09:58 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#6   Reply With Quote
ANWmo1 ANWmo1 is offline
ANWmo1's Avatar

ANWmo1 perfect turned into obsessive and creepy...

Quick Study

Join Date: Mar 2009

Posts: 80

See profile



I agree with the other posters. I'd close him out with the option of communicating outside of eH. How did you leave the last communication? Did he say he'd call you or you'd call him? Have you tried contacting him?


I know I would feel better, like a weight lifted off me, if I just closed him. When I close someone that ignores me like that (or similarly) I often feel better. I just know that they are not worth my time.


In the movie He's Just Not Into You, the classic line is if a guy is truly interested he'll call. Remember that!
- April 27th, 2009, 11:13 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#7   Reply With Quote
Gr8Guyn2008 Gr8Guyn2008 is offline
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

Gr8Guyn2008 I wanna know what love is, I want you to show me

Power Poster

Join Date: Jan 2008

Posts: 9,311

See profile



I can see no reason to keep him open


Unless he is on deaths doorstep in the hospital then it is obvious that he is not interested. Or he could be a major commitment phobe and when you held his hand he completely freaked. In which case I doubt that you would want someone like that anyway.
- April 27th, 2009, 11:19 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#8   Reply With Quote
emanze emanze is offline
emanze's Avatar

emanze is keeping the faith!

Quick Study

Join Date: Apr 2009

Posts: 193

See profile




Well, let's review:


1. You made the moves on the date


2. He "disappeared off the face of the earth" after the date


3. You emailed him but he didn't even have the decency to reply


Honestly, don't you think you are worth more than this?? Who knows why he is keeping you open. He is dating someone else and keeping you as a benchwarmer just in case she dumps him. He feels guilty and can't bring himself to do it. He's lazy. Who knows, who cares.


If I was you, I would close him now. And take the lesson that you deserve to be treated better than this!










- April 27th, 2009, 11:33 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#9   Reply With Quote
Vonniebelle Vonniebelle is offline
Vonniebelle's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Apr 2009

Posts: 29

See profile

treeye, wrote :

I've gone out with this guy on eharmony for three months (non-exclusive) (eight times); he was giving me mixed signals and I made move on our last date ( simply holding hands and kissing, not overboard), he was responsive but dropped out of the face of the earth after the date. I sent him an email but got no reply. he simply evaporated! now i think i'm not planning to contact him any more. it's been three weeks since our last date.





my question is should i close him on eharmony too? i guess it's more for myself for not giving myself false hope. or i should just leave it like this?
When in doubt, close out and move on. There are other fish in the sea. Pray always.


Vonniebelle
- April 29th, 2009, 10:31 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#10   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

Reply
Page 1 of 2 1 2

Bookmarks

« How do you know she/he could be ur BF/GF? | Array | How do I ask a guy out? »
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Maybe I'm missing something too, but I had closed my match and she finally asked to reopen...but looks like if you've closed somebody before you can't reopen it as a non-paying member. Not that it ... ” – PY_2

Join the “Free Communication Weekend” discussion

“hmm. well, i've got a nasty streak of religiosity. as in, i believe chastity is not only for the unmarried. do i qualify? anyways, i'd say it's hard to talk about "advantages." being religious is, ... ” – lil_lamb

Join the “Gods will and sex vs abstinence for older folks” discussion

“I went on a short ( 4 nights 5 days) cruise to Alaska (we couldn't see Russia though) with someone I was dating/a lover last year.We were able to take our own booze BTW and there were smoking and non ... ” – RoxyRedhead

Join the “Is a Cruise a good Date?” discussion

“Each person has his or her own set of correct behaviors, depending on their age, rearing, socio-economic status, religious inclination, financial ability etc etc etc.We can't and shouldn't attempt to ... ” – RoxyRedhead

Join the “Ethical Considerations In Dating Multiple People” discussion

“This is one of those discussions where it is difficult to have a rational and logical exchange because emotions take over. I think what is being missed the most is that the real problem here is that ... ” – waltercl

Join the “Frustrated & Confused: Is He A Sexual Addict???” discussion

“I see it too, ScottK. I also get a kick out of the fact that you got one star for this thread and I believe it is probably because you dared to mention that you are not liberal. lol!! So much for the ... ” – bigfincat

Join the “Hypocritical Match?” discussion

“Don't worry, you'll get your chance! If you marry a family man and have children with him, by the time you are in your forties, you will have all of the power. The older you get the more power you ... ” – neardc

Join the “Men Have All the Power” discussion

“Hi madewar..I know exactly what you are writing about.Having been married and divorced in after 10 years, then married to a real 'soul partner' and and then widowed at 61, I have little or no desire ... ” – RoxyRedhead

Join the “Seniors have different needs” discussion



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:35 am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2009, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.3.0