Old Fashioned, or Totally Cool?


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Steve_Cam is offline Steve_Cam Post #101  April 28,2009, 2:10am

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simplemind,595660 wrote :

Steve_Cam,595653 wrote :


Mr_Right,595501 wrote :


None of this "may I hold your hand" nonsense.


...casually put your hand out and say "I notice you have a hand free."





'may i hold your hand' and 'i notice you have a hand free',,,both equal nonsese to me,,





-Steve Cam


Okay, Steve_Cam, you're on! What do you prefer to do? ;-)
Good question. Granted you can't read your dates mind, so you either ask them, go for it and see if they pull away, or just chicken out. I am not putting down Mr Rights method, I am just saying that IMHO both of them are asking for permission. I consider his idea more passive than the 'may I hold your hand'. So my comment was directed at him calling it nonsense.


As to what I would do/do. I was recently in the situation and it was more nerve racking than I thought it would be. Mainly because she was being pretty stand offish half the time, then giving me strong signals the other half(grabbing my arm, rubbing against me). One time when she grabbed my arm, I just slid my hand up and embraced her hand. I never would have imagined 10 years ago that I would have even planned it out, but the situation called for me to do something if i were to hold her hand. She was receptive, so all was well.


I've read that some women would be put off by being so bold, I guess its good that I haven't had the pleasure of dating one. That is part of the thrill of making steps in a relationship isnt it? Putting yourself in a position to be rejected. It's never fun to be rejected. Hense why there are so many threads here asking how to interpret peoples actions an words, to ask yourself would put yourself in a position to be rejected.


-Steve Cam
 
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Steve_Cam is offline Steve_Cam Post #102  April 28,2009, 2:13am

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Mr_Right,595765 wrote :

Steve_Cam,595653 wrote :


Mr_Right,595501 wrote :


None of this "may I hold your hand" nonsense.


For the guys, here's what you do. If you're walking together in a mall or something, you get on the side of her that she's not carrying anything with, and then casually put your hand out and say "I notice you have a hand free."


Then if she grabs it, you're in.


'may i hold your hand' and 'i notice you have a hand free',,,both equal nonsese to me,,





-Steve Cam


Heh, I have a huge success rate with that, plus you can easily tell if she's not that into you if she doesn't take your hand.
I wasn't putting down your 'technique'. I was under the impression you were saying that 'may I hold your hand' wasn't taking charge enough when you called it nonsense. If thats the case I merely equated the two.


I am a big believer of 'if it works for you, work it'. So my hat is off to you for finding something that works for you. I am going on a date here soon, and if the situation calls for it, I may steal your line!


-Steve Cam
 
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Mr_Right is offline Mr_Right Post #103  May 1,2009, 11:25am
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Steve_Cam,596686 wrote :

Mr_Right,595765 wrote :


Steve_Cam,595653 wrote :


Mr_Right,595501 wrote :


None of this "may I hold your hand" nonsense.


For the guys, here's what you do. If you're walking together in a mall or something, you get on the side of her that she's not carrying anything with, and then casually put your hand out and say "I notice you have a hand free."


Then if she grabs it, you're in.


'may i hold your hand' and 'i notice you have a hand free',,,both equal nonsese to me,,





-Steve Cam


Heh, I have a huge success rate with that, plus you can easily tell if she's not that into you if she doesn't take your hand.


I wasn't putting down your 'technique'. I was under the impression you were saying that 'may I hold your hand' wasn't taking charge enough when you called it nonsense. If thats the case I merely equated the two.


I am a big believer of 'if it works for you, work it'. So my hat is off to you for finding something that works for you. I am going on a date here soon, and if the situation calls for it, I may steal your line!


-Steve Cam
You gotta let us know how your date was!
 
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chawks64 is offline chawks64 Post #104  May 1,2009, 5:04pm
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scarlet13,595768 wrote :

sometimes i'll make the move to hold a guy's hand. but i'm one of those feminist types who also wear skirts above the ankle. *shrug

I'm shocked!


Next thing you know, you'll be KISSING them, too!
 
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SierraMountainAir is offline SierraMountainAir Post #105  May 1,2009, 9:41pm
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scarlet13,595768 wrote :

sometimes i'll make the move to hold a guy's hand. but i'm one of those feminist types who also wear skirts above the ankle. *shrug

Errr, well ok, as long as you don't wear Birkenstock sandals, and carry old fishnet handbags and refuse to shave the pits and insist on driving an old Volvo station wagon with save the whales decals on the bumper and dog nose prints all over the windows......








< shudders > .....
 
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SierraMountainAir is offline SierraMountainAir Post #106  May 1,2009, 9:50pm
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simplemind,587437 wrote :

Courtesy is respectful--he did not move in too close, too fast; which would've had me running like a gazelle in heels down the Mile.
Hah, I'd run you down in my '64 Impala
 
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winn is offline winn Post #107  May 1,2009, 10:11pm

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6dle899,601813 wrote :

scarlet13,595768 wrote :


sometimes i'll make the move to hold a guy's hand. but i'm one of those feminist types who also wear skirts above the ankle. *shrug





Errr, well ok, as long as you don't wear Birkenstock sandals, and carry old fishnet handbags and refuse to shave the pits and insist on driving an old Volvo station wagon with save the whales decals on the bumper and dog nose prints all over the windows......








< shudders > .....
LOL, I think you are talking about my neighbour. Although I have a friend who swears by Birkenstocks but that's the only part of the description that suits her.
 
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simplemind is offline simplemind Post #108  May 2,2009, 12:17am
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Steve_Cam,596684 wrote :

simplemind,595660 wrote :


Steve_Cam,595653 wrote :


Mr_Right,595501 wrote :


None of this "may I hold your hand" nonsense.


...casually put your hand out and say "I notice you have a hand free."





'may i hold your hand' and 'i notice you have a hand free',,,both equal nonsese to me,,





-Steve Cam


Okay, Steve_Cam, you're on! What do you prefer to do? ;-)


Good question. Granted you can't read your dates mind, so you either ask them, go for it and see if they pull away, or just chicken out.


[edit]


...I was recently in the situation and it was more nerve racking than I thought it would be. Mainly because she was being pretty stand offish half the time, then giving me strong signals the other half(grabbing my arm, rubbing against me). One time when she grabbed my arm, I just slid my hand up and embraced her hand. I never would have imagined 10 years ago that I would have even planned it out, but the situation called for me to do something if i were to hold her hand. She was receptive, so all was well.


I've read that some women would be put off by being so bold, I guess its good that I haven't had the pleasure of dating one. That is part of the thrill of making steps in a relationship isnt it? Putting yourself in a position to be rejected. It's never fun to be rejected. Hense why there are so many threads here asking how to interpret peoples actions an words, to ask yourself would put yourself in a position to be rejected.


-Steve Cam
No, she was not put off at all; and this female wouldn't be, either, were a date to read me as well as you did her. It was a risk, as she could have done a "gazelle" on you, but you took the chance and won the prize.


"the thrill of making steps"...I think you're right with this, Steve. Got to go think on that one.


Thank you.
 
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simplemind is offline simplemind Post #109  May 2,2009, 12:23am
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6dle899,601829 wrote :

simplemind,587437 wrote :


Courtesy is respectful--he did not move in too close, too fast; which would've had me running like a gazelle in heels down the Mile.


Hah, I'd run you down in my '64 Impala
Not if I were in my Reeboks! ;-p


(and uh, to keep on topic sorta, is running a girl down an old fashioned way of getting to meet her? On the distaff side of that, I once had to chase a car down the street--seems the transmission slippage I'd been suspecting translated into failing in park and rolling backwards down a hill for about a block and a half. Chased that thing in miniskirt and platform shoes for half that, to catch up with it just as it walloped a parked car. The owner was very nice about it.He took me to dinner as we traded insurance cards.)
 
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scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #110  May 2,2009, 12:24am
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chawks64,601327 wrote :

scarlet13,595768 wrote :


sometimes i'll make the move to hold a guy's hand. but i'm one of those feminist types who also wear skirts above the ankle. *shrug





I'm shocked!


Next thing you know, you'll be KISSING them, too!




that post nearly gave me the vapors!


*fans self
 
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