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VB_Girl VB_Girl is offline
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I often see people write "I don't like to talk on the phone". When I hear/read this, I feel like I can never call the personwithout feeling like I am intruding. I'm just wondering what that means? Do you not want to have long getting to know you conversationsor that you don't like the general 'just checking in' type of conversation?Or something else?
- April 19th, 2009, 09:36 am
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metamucilmuffin metamucilmuffin is offline
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For some, it means that if they are going to have an in-depth conversation with you, they want it to be in person. In some ways, phone calls are an easy way out - you don't see body language or physical appearance or grooming or eye contact, you don't know how much of their attention you really have (are they watching tv? surfing the net?), and we all tend to have more bravado over the phone than face-to-face. But for LD relationships or eHarmony, phone calls are a necessary evil.


Because I have so many friends who live far away from me, I personally like longer phone calls. But I doobject to check-in calls from friends with cell phones who are bored while riding the bus or whatever. That's just annoying.
- April 19th, 2009, 09:55 am
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I intensely dislike aimless phone calls …


Girl[/b]: Hi. What are you doing?


Frog[/b]: Preparing dinner.


Girl[/b]: What are you making?


Frog[/b]: Why does it matter?


Girl[/b]: Just curious …


Frog[/b]: Both hands and attention are required – goodbye.


Telephone calls are nearly always disruptive; usually occurring at an awkward moment for me and a period of boredom for her.


In my preference, phone calls are limited to the exchange of factual information (“I’m leaving work at 6:00; I’ll meet you about 7:00.&rdquo
- April 19th, 2009, 10:00 am
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danimal1968 danimal1968 is offline
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VB_Girl, wrote :

I often see people write "I don't like to talk on the phone". When I hear/read this, I feel like I can never call the personwithout feeling like I am intruding. I'm just wondering what that means? Do you not want to have long getting to know you conversationsor that you don't like the general 'just checking in' type of conversation?Or something else?
Sounds like a wonderful thing to ask the person in question, since it would likely mean different things to different people.
- April 19th, 2009, 10:06 am
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For those few of us who are vocally challenged ( I think this is the POLITICALLY CORRECT TERM FOR SPEECH IMPEDIMENT), we are better off keeping initial phone conversations short and meet in person instead. As D_Lion said limit calls to exchange factual info.
- April 19th, 2009, 10:09 am
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For me it depends on the person on the other end of the phone mostly.


Many of my friends and all of my family live a distance from me, so lengthy phone calls with them are fine and fun!


The friends that live close, and I see regularly it's kind of pointless most of the time to have lengthy conversations on the phone.


I get irritated when a local friend calls me because they are bored and just feel like "chatting". A long distance friend doing the same? Doesn't bother me, cause I don't spend time with them as often and talk about nonsense stuff.


I'm awaiting a return call right now from a friend to see if she wants to get together today for lunch. Should be a simple yes or no. I actually dread the call though - cause even if she's able to meet up, she'll want to sit on the phone and talk nonsense for the next however long it takes her to get ready to actually MEET for lunch. Pointless and irritating. I'll have to be abrupt and cut the call the the necessary 3 minutes it takes to set the plan. She's the biggest offender I know of doing this, we all screen her calls constantly lol
- April 19th, 2009, 10:14 am
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BILLGOLF wrote :


For those few of us who are vocally challenged ( I think this is the POLITICALLY CORRECT TERM FOR SPEECH IMPEDIMENT), we are better off keeping initial phone conversations short and meet in person instead. As D_Lion said limit calls to exchange factual info.


Interesting. When I posed the question, I wasn't limiting it to initial meetings. When I read it, I take it to mean ... forever during our relationship, I don't really want to talk to you on the phone.
- April 19th, 2009, 10:15 am
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I don't expect to ever like long phone conversations unless they are necessary due to distance or unless I befriend a bubble boy.


I do have meaningless conversations with my cousin while he is working & has nothing to do. That is fine because I can put it on speaker & we are both doing this or that as well as talking.


I think that it does become easier as you get to know someone & get to know their conversational habits. I don't like it early on but I do occassionally do things that I don't like to do.
- April 19th, 2009, 10:27 am
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lucky173 wrote :

For me it depends on the person on the other end of the phone mostly.

I agree. If it is someone I am just getting to know I don't mind a long phone call to get to know someone better, however if I am just getting to know you it won't be every day as that just seems clingy to me. As time goes by in a relationship you figure out what each person's conversation style is and hopefully figure out what works. A lot depends on distance and how often you can meet in person and how busy each person is.





For friends I have known for a long time but don't see often a lengthy phone call is fine to catch up, however if possible I would rather talk over dinner or lunch.





Family is difficult sometimes. My Mom and Aunt are both retired now and don't go to work and I think miss that daily interaction in the office. They sometimes call and seem just to need to talk about nothing in particular and I think forget that I am still working. I just try to be patient and think one day they won't be there.
- April 19th, 2009, 10:55 am
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lucky173 wrote :

For me it depends on the person on the other end of the phone mostly.


Many of my friends and all of my family live a distance from me, so lengthy phone calls with them are fine and fun!


The friends that live close, and I see regularly it's kind of pointless most of the time to have lengthy conversations on the phone.


I get irritated when a local friend calls me because they are bored and just feel like "chatting". A long distance friend doing the same? Doesn't bother me, cause I don't spend time with them as often and talk about nonsense stuff.


I'm awaiting a return call right now from a friend to see if she wants to get together today for lunch. Should be a simple yes or no. I actually dread the call though - cause even if she's able to meet up, she'll want to sit on the phone and talk nonsense for the next however long it takes her to get ready to actually MEET for lunch. Pointless and irritating. I'll have to be abrupt and cut the call the the necessary 3 minutes it takes to set the plan. She's the biggest offender I know of doing this, we all screen her calls constantly lol
I'm with you on this one, Lucky. Local, whether friend or date; it's what, where, and when--sweet and short. I have a friend, too, who gets to the point of drone I have actually fallen asleep on the phone. (oops). Have learned to set a mental timer, then tell her I need to finish what I was doing beforehand.Takes some reinforcement to sign off with her, but I enjoy the talks more now.


It's nice that someone is thinking of you, and wants to say a little hello--too easy to get isolated in today's world. But when floundering for SOMETHING to say ("what are you cooking?" auugghhhh), the conversation is done.


I like texting for this reason. Easy to say a hello,stay on topic.


But as VBgirl is asking, what about LTR's, eH intros? Then, it's a case by case thing. If the chemistry is right, I've surprised myself at how much time has flown by while I'm enjoying a story a "he" is telling. Phone calls aren't 100% predictors, but if he's kept me interested on the phone that long, I've usuallyfound we'regoing to hit it off.
- April 19th, 2009, 10:55 am
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