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guitarjunkie guitarjunkie is offline
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D_Lion wrote :

Telephone calls are nearly always disruptive; usually occurring at an awkward moment for me and a period of boredom for her.


In my preference, phone calls are limited to the exchange of factual information (“I’m leaving work at 6:00; I’ll meet you about 7:00.&rdquo
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It might be a guy thing but I really hate talking on the phone for long periods of time. For me, the phone is a fast way of arranging a time and a place to meet up. That takes maybe 2-3 minutes. Done. Long conversations are best had when both parties are focused on each other, having a glass of wine or another beverage of your choice, and being able to look each other in the eyes. At least that's my opinion.


I'm usually busy and never bored. So to me any phone call is disruptive, so all my friends know to keep it short on the phone with me.
- April 19th, 2009, 10:59 am
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I love talking on the phone, as long as I can precede the conversation by one of two statements:

1) What do you want?

2) Get to the point.
- April 19th, 2009, 12:04 pm
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VB_Girl, wrote :

I often see people write "I don't like to talk on the phone". When I hear/read this, I feel like I can never call the personwithout feeling like I am intruding. I'm just wondering what that means? Do you not want to have long getting to know you conversationsor that you don't like the general 'just checking in' type of conversation?Or something else?
I am glad that as a girl you have asked this question.


I often say that I don't like talking on the phone. More correctly I should say that I don't like calling people. If someone calls me I don't mind talking on the phone. I have talked for extended periods of time on the phone (which make my ear hurt). As some others have mentioned a phone call unless it has been setup ahead of time will be at least somewhat disruptive.


If I am going to have a phone conversation that is going to be of the "getting to know you" type I have found something that I prefer, voice communication via Yahoo! IM.
- April 19th, 2009, 12:21 pm
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simplemind wrote :


lucky173 wrote :


For me it depends on the person on the other end of the phone mostly.


Many of my friends and all of my family live a distance from me, so lengthy phone calls with them are fine and fun!


The friends that live close, and I see regularly it's kind of pointless most of the time to have lengthy conversations on the phone.


I get irritated when a local friend calls me because they are bored and just feel like "chatting". A long distance friend doing the same? Doesn't bother me, cause I don't spend time with them as often and talk about nonsense stuff.


I'm awaiting a return call right now from a friend to see if she wants to get together today for lunch. Should be a simple yes or no. I actually dread the call though - cause even if she's able to meet up, she'll want to sit on the phone and talk nonsense for the next however long it takes her to get ready to actually MEET for lunch. Pointless and irritating. I'll have to be abrupt and cut the call the the necessary 3 minutes it takes to set the plan. She's the biggest offender I know of doing this, we all screen her calls constantly lol


I'm with you on this one, Lucky. Local, whether friend or date; it's what, where, and when--sweet and short. I have a friend, too, who gets to the point of drone I have actually fallen asleep on the phone. (oops). Have learned to set a mental timer, then tell her I need to finish what I was doing beforehand.Takes some reinforcement to sign off with her, but I enjoy the talks more now.


It's nice that someone is thinking of you, and wants to say a little hello--too easy to get isolated in today's world. But when floundering for SOMETHING to say ("what are you cooking?" auugghhhh), the conversation is done.


I like texting for this reason. Easy to say a hello,stay on topic.


But as VBgirl is asking, what about LTR's, eH intros? Then, it's a case by case thing. If the chemistry is right, I've surprised myself at how much time has flown by while I'm enjoying a story a "he" is telling. Phone calls aren't 100% predictors, but if he's kept me interested on the phone that long, I've usuallyfound we'regoing to hit it off.


BTDT, for many calls that "she" wanted. Got dumped before the first date


Might add that I have not learned my lesson
- April 19th, 2009, 12:25 pm
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danimal1968 wrote :

VB_Girl, wrote :


I often see people write "I don't like to talk on the phone". When I hear/read this, I feel like I can never call the personwithout feeling like I am intruding. I'm just wondering what that means? Do you not want to have long getting to know you conversationsor that you don't like the general 'just checking in' type of conversation?Or something else?


Sounds like a wonderful thing to ask the person in question, since it would likely mean different things to different people.
Completely Agree! People define words and phrases differently. You have to ask that person what they mean (whether it's email/text/phone). Good luck!
- April 19th, 2009, 02:05 pm
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I think I'm in the middle of the road here. I just dated a guy who told me in the morning that he felt extremely ill, then felt it intrusive when I called that evening to see if he was feeling any better. If we're dating exclusively, I don't think a 15 or 20 minute call a day is going to kill anyone. Maybe I'm "needy", or maybe I'm just a chick.


On the other hand, other guys I have dated would call 4 or 5 times a day, whenever they felt bored. One used to call while I was getting ready to meet him, then gripe about me being a few minutes late. Duh!


- April 19th, 2009, 06:27 pm
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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :


simplemind wrote :


lucky173 wrote :


snipetty snip...


I'm with you on this one, Lucky. Local, whether friend or date; it's what, where, and when--sweet and short.


It's nice that someone is thinking of you, and wants to say a little hello--too easy to get isolated in today's world. But when floundering for SOMETHING to say ...the conversation is done.





But as VBgirl is asking, what about LTR's, eH intros?... Phone calls aren't 100% predictors, but if he's kept me interested on the phone that long, I've usuallyfound we'regoing to hit it off.


BTDT, for many calls that "she" wanted. Got dumped before the first date


Might add that I have not learned my lesson


Hope springs eternal, dear. It's one of the most charming things about being human, isn't it?


- April 19th, 2009, 06:36 pm
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I think it all just depends on the person and the situation...my first phone calls with some of my matches on EH...I would joke.."ok..we are going way over the 15 minute part here"...and they kept talking away until I finally had to say, after an hour..I really need to take the dog outside...Wasn't trying to be rude...but not since high school...have I really had a big love for talking for hours on the phone...LOL ( Now..I do love a quick phone call/text to my family who lives around the US...so I believe in keeping in touch...


I really prefer in person when I can to see their eyes, their smile, the one/one with someone as like with the written word......phone or emailcan sometimes lead to a misunderstanding with just getting to know someone especially when you are paying such close attention to every word...or lack thereof...haha


I have a 'no call waiting' policy for myself..unless I knew there was some emergency going on which hasn't happened yet...I never...and I mean never..pick up another call when on with someone else...this goes for work as well when on with a client....and I don't talk when I am in any type of store, coffee place, restaurant, etc....I like to TALK to the cashier/staff...say hello...not just pretend they don't exist...sorry..that's a pet peeve of mine...it's just gotten way out of hand with basic courtesy nowadays..it's kind of sad
- April 19th, 2009, 07:00 pm
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I used to be like that, I prefered face-to-face conversation. Many women I have known believe the phone is just another appendage. They like to get on the phone sometimes for no other reason than they "feel" that you're right there with them wherever they go." Driving somewhere alone at night? They call. Just woke up? They call. After they're out the door shortly after they've woken up? They call. A nasty exchange with a sales associate? They call. Often, these calls all occur in the same day.


I try not to get too worked up about it. But the problem often is that, even when the woman is not calling about anything in particular, they want my undivided attention. Not going to always happen. I have a bluetooth now, because I am often a busy guy and phone calls can take a while. If the conversation is about something important, than of course that is my top priority. But I'm not always going to be always be on a woman's beck and call just for small talk.


- April 19th, 2009, 07:02 pm
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Conversation at the top of a 2-hour drive. (I hate driving and talking on the phone)


Friend: Hey, what are you doing?


me: driving, had a good weekend


Friend. OK, well seem busy, I hate tobother you, I always bother you, sorry,


me. No need to apologize, you know i hate talking and driving. I'll call you when I get in


**3 minutes later, phone rings**


Me: Hello?


same friend: Hey, just wanted to let you know such-and-such.


Me: Ok...


Friend: Ok, now you really hate me, bye
- April 19th, 2009, 07:46 pm
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