would you like kids with that?


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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #11  April 16,2009, 8:34am
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I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

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kkinnison, wrote :

...


To boild it down to these questions


1. If she/he has a kid is there a disadvatage to not having a kid?


2. I know the problems single parents might have, but isn't a bad idea to bring your kid to a first date?


3. Am I wrong to put a limit on the age and numer of kids?
1. You n t having children may or may not be a problem for your matches. Each one will view that differently.


2. Yes bring an child (of any age) on a first date is a very bad idea. If the person is not able to leave the child with an adult family member, friend or afford a babysitter then maybe they should not be dating. If they had a babysitter cancel then they should cancel the date and reschedule.


3. No you are not wrong to place a limit on the age or number of children you will accept that your match already has.
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #12  April 16,2009, 9:06am
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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+1 on the inappropriateness of bringing a baby on a first date.


Regarding forming a relationship with someone who already has children....there likely areadvantages and disadvantages to everything. One advantage of considering women who have children is this substantially increases the number of women you can 'choose' from. There are disadvantages to thisregarding the time, energy, mobility,and expense that come with another child (whether one's own or those of someone else). It's just a matterof you weighing all the factors and making your own decision whether it's worth it to you to consider people who already have a child(ren). I don't consider a decision either way to be right, wrong, shallow or not. It's all a matter of how you prioritize things.
 
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4getmenot is offline 4getmenot Post #13  April 16,2009, 9:23am

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LOL....I love the heading "Would you like kids with that"


Ok, now HER bringinga child to a FIRST DATE is just wrong! What the heck are these people thinking. I am a mother and that is just WRONG!!! My kids would never even meet someone until I am serious about the person and that takes MONTHS. I don't think you want someone like that to be the mother of your kids anyways.


Moving on....Don't let that incident spoil your acceptance for moms(we are not all that way).It's really hard to say if you should put an age limit on kids or not.Toddlerscan be apain in the butt and require lotsof patience, on the other hand SO do teens. It depends on the kids in general. Some, no matter what age can just be a disaster. It sounds like you have the patience for kids and that is something many moms look for.The dummy that took her kid on that first date isjust....WOW....I don't even have words for her.


So....


"If she/he has a kid is there a disadvantage to not having a kid?" Not really.Only because you don't have them doesn't mean you can't handle them. You may need a little "getting use to it". Like I said...some can be a terror and some can be awesome and youend up liking them allot and getting along with them.


"I know the problems single parents might have, but isn't a bad idea to bring your kid to a first date?" JUST WRONG, WRONG, WRONG!!!!! I would have walked away right then and there!! I give you props for sticking around.....shows you are a good man.


"Am I wrong to put a limit on the age and numer of kids?" Age for the most part does not matter. It depends on the kid and certainly the mother as well.
 
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scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #14  April 16,2009, 9:34am

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4getmenot,580598 wrote :

"Am I wrong to put a limit on the age and numer of kids?" Age for the most part does not matter. It depends on the kid and certainly the mother as well.
I have to disagree. I can pay off a teenager to scram with a 100 bucks and the keys to my truck.


toddlers require eagle eye vision, a poor sense of smell, and severalcontainers of wet wipes, considerering the amount of graham cracker and snot that is usuallyall over their little faces. andthey are about crotch height, so you know they are gonna run at you when you are wearing $300jeans.
 
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4getmenot is offline 4getmenot Post #15  April 16,2009, 10:00am

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scarlet13,580614 wrote :

4getmenot,580598 wrote :


"Am I wrong to put a limit on the age and numer of kids?" Age for the most part does not matter. It depends on the kid and certainly the mother as well.


I have to disagree. I can pay off a teenager to scram with a 100 bucks and the keys to my truck.


toddlers require eagle eye vision, a poor sense of smell, and severalcontainers of wet wipes, considerering the amount of graham cracker and snot that is usuallyall over their little faces. andthey are about crotch height, so you know they are gonna run at you when you are wearing $300jeans.
LOL....I agree with all of the above, HOWEVER, he did mention he wanted kids of his own so getting a little bit of experience with toddlers wouldn't be sucha bad idea


BTW: Thanks SCARLET...you just made me rethink on whether I want to have more kids or NOT
 
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longsocks is offline longsocks Post #16  April 16,2009, 10:05am
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I can't even imagine showing up to a first date/meeting with my daughter in tow! Maybe she was trying to test you out, butI think that would bea pretty lousy way to go about it.


As a single mom, I wouldn't judge a potential partner on whether they have children already or not. I do, however, want potential matches to be aware that my daughter is a very significant part of my life and would be a significant part of any future partner's life as well. I'm not looking for an "Insta-dad", but we're a package deal. I realize that everyone is not okay with that and that is fine...we each need to make our own choices in what we wantin a potential partner.


I think the only problem with setting a limit of the number and ages of kids is that it's pretty arbitrary...one little terror could be way worse to deal with then a handful of well-behaved little people no matter what ages they are.


And if other people's kids aren't for you at all, then do what's best for you and look for a partner without kids. You're looking for what you want.


Just try to remember that all single moms aren't the same anddon't write off a whole group of women based on this one wacky experience.... even though I'm sure it will stick with you for a long time.
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #17  April 16,2009, 10:06am
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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4getmenot,580642 wrote :

...getting a little bit of experience with toddlers wouldn't be sucha bad idea
Getting a little bit of experience with toddlers....is that like getting a 'little bit' pregnant?
 
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scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #18  April 16,2009, 10:18am

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like i always say- there's always boarding school. in Europe.
 
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4getmenot is offline 4getmenot Post #19  April 16,2009, 10:26am

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jayjay,580659 wrote :

4getmenot,580642 wrote :


...getting a little bit of experience with toddlers wouldn't be sucha bad idea


Getting a little bit of experience with toddlers....is that like getting a 'little bit' pregnant?
LoL...I suppose.
 
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