What is YOUR key 1st date question?


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musmusculus is offline musmusculus Post #31  April 14,2009, 8:34am
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is in a relationship!!!!!!

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"These are my parents - would you mind if they join us?"
 
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supernova8610 is offline supernova8610 Post #32  April 14,2009, 9:46am
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musmusculus,577602 wrote :

"These are my parents - would you mind if they join us?"
Best question ever.
 
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eHA_Admin_Lori is offline eHA_Admin_Lori — Advice Official Moderator Post #33  April 14,2009, 10:15am
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D_Lion,576699 wrote :

This implies an inability to assess a situation and respond appropriately; why would I do that?
That was not the intent, D_Lion. Point is, what piece of information is most important for you to learn about a date, and how does that information play into whether or not you ask for another date.
 
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Eloise10 is offline Eloise10 Post #34  April 14,2009, 1:53pm
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bravethestorm,576475 wrote :

Probably the most important question I ask is "How long ago was your last relationship?" From that I'm looking to see if they are emotionally able to start fresh with someone new. If they answer it's just been a a few weeks to months (especially in the case of divorce or death)...I'll probably look for other signs on the date itself to see if I think they are ready.


It really depends on the overall impression if there is a second date as either positive or a "maybe". Giving signs they aren't ready to date though would be a no.
It depends on the person some times people move on early and some times they hold on the old bages but you can pick up on things for example if you are out to dinner and the person keep talking abouttheir past experiences that is a good sing that they are not ready for along term dating just want some sex so just move on there are other eags in the nest.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #35  April 14,2009, 2:00pm
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It varies greatly depending on what I already know about her.


I usually converse about her employment and field of study at university, because those things interest me and it is something we have enough in common about to maintain a conversation. I like to talk about current events, economics, and politics, though I find a lot of women reluctant or uninformed; conversely, a lot of women want to talk about family, pets, television, and sports, subjects I am not informed about.


I often discuss recreational pursuits, interests, and hobbies. This seems to be about the safest subject, though it is less interesting to me than the first.


I do not like to discuss backgrounds, especially relationship or family history.


There’s not much that would be a deal-breaker after one date. An STD, arrest record, narcotics use, current partners /spouse, would be, but I would never ask such things. Someone of only average intelligence but also kind, and funny, I have historically kept even though intellect is a major attraction. Boredom and generally difficult, awkward conversation is for me worth more dates.


I would point out that I have a casual dating history, so otherwise incompatible lifestyle differences are not necessarily a concern, since we would be maintaining separate houses.
 
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pukeko is offline pukeko Post #36  April 14,2009, 3:11pm
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there are several questions. the keys are: have you been married? do you have any children? what do you like to do in your spare time?
 
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bigfincat is offline bigfincat Post #37  April 14,2009, 3:17pm
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DennisWisconsin,576482 wrote :

Would you like a drink?


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You beat me to it, Dennis.


My first thought was... There is a 3 drink minimum...are you OK with that??
 
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orion is offline orion Post #38  April 15,2009, 2:04am
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“You’re my date, aren’t you?”, spoken first and as typed.
Seems might be trite at times, but is almost never so.
It serves several purposes, at once.
It eliminates almost all uncertainty and awkwardness for your match re that initial moment.
Secondly, it is a confidence builder for them, as they get immediate assurance that their representation of the special individuality of themselves, was successful, whether, physically, through pictures, and/or description of clothing/hair/hairdo-color/type, or entrance action, such as lighting a part of their apparel or hair on fire. Even when the last occurs, it is a confidence builder for them, as it shows you are not afraid to associate with someone who stands out from the crowd.
Thirdly, it allows an easy communication comment/question for your match as to why you were able to acknowledge their success in describing themselves. Putting your match at ease, right away, is very important to allow the overcoming of the first date jitters to allow it to be an effective first meeting. That way the real you and the real match have the best chance of showing yourselves to the other. Whether the subsequent question/answer/comment communication period shows compatibility or not, you both have a great chance of accomplishing your key goals toward that determination and for subsequent activity, as it may occur.
As an aside, that is also a pretty good opening line anywhere, whether or not, you are meeting a match.
However, it is somewhat callous to use it on someone you know is not your match, while you are waiting for your match to show up, until, at least, an hour after the agreed to meeting time. Ah, timing is all.
Good Luck and Steady Winds,
Orion
 
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