how important should looks be???


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lucky173 is offline lucky173 Post #31  April 15,2009, 3:48pm
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jayjay,579655 wrote :

lucky173,579645 wrote :


hankm25,579581 wrote :


I think looks are super important because it is about attraction. In fact, if I get match who is way hotter than I am I will close them out immediately. It just doesn't feel right if they are too hot. Does anyone else do this?


I've done this! I've had a few matches where the guy was just wayyy wayyyyy good looking, like... George Clooney hottt and yeah, I had to do it - closed him out. No amount of optimism that I posess could have gotten me to hit that request communication button... none.


Come on lucky.....you're one of the hotties hank was talking about! (you did have your photo up before)
thank you for the compliment jayjay. However, cute will suffice, ya a$$ kisser, I will NOT wash your car
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #32  April 15,2009, 3:56pm
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lucky173,579685 wrote :

jayjay,579655 wrote :


lucky173,579645 wrote :


hankm25,579581 wrote :


I think looks are super important because it is about attraction. In fact, if I get match who is way hotter than I am I will close them out immediately. It just doesn't feel right if they are too hot. Does anyone else do this?


I've done this! I've had a few matches where the guy was just wayyy wayyyyy good looking, like... George Clooney hottt and yeah, I had to do it - closed him out. No amount of optimism that I posess could have gotten me to hit that request communication button... none.


Come on lucky.....you're one of the hotties hank was talking about! (you did have your photo up before)


thank you for the compliment jayjay. However, cute will suffice, ya a$$ kisser, I will NOT wash your car
Have a little self-confidence....you should be initiating communication with those 'George Clooneys'. You ARE all that.
 
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Shads is offline Shads Post #33  April 15,2009, 4:02pm
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lucky173,579576 wrote :


Shads,576649 wrote :


kiki____2,576641 wrote :


mab1123, wrote :


I recently met this guy and we've been talking on the internet for a couple of weeks now. We finally met in person for the first time this weekend. In therory he's everything I've been looking for. But the problem is, that he's not the best looking guy in the world. I'm not exactly model material but (not to sound stuck up) I would still consider myself ummmm....above him in the looks department. He's really someone I can be comfortable around and I want this to work! My question is....Can someone learn to be attracted to someone? Is this something a person can learn to live with over time? Or is this a lost cause? Please help me. What sould I do?


DDear Mab: You have my sympathies. I went thru a similar meeting only much worse. We had been talking on the phone and his voice was very attractive. However, after meeting him his beer belly, deafness and bad teeth were more than I could get past. In reality, a smile, a curl, color of eyes, scent, physicality are all part of attraction. If none of those things can change then it a "no go" for me. Reality: a pot belly just doesn't "work" when it comes to doing it either. Not even the biggest can make that jump!


Good luck with your search. Don't give up. I now ask questions first: Like: Do you go to a gym? How much do you weigh? Are you really 6'4"? Do you run? Are there any health issues you currently have ie. Emphasema? Is 62 your actual age? Can I see you Drivers Licence? Are you sexually active? Diseasefree? They may seem blunt but it cuts thru the BS waste of time.


KiKi (67Yrs.old)


EAXACTLY!!!!!.......... I always demand photos from all sides and ask questions.


This is slightly off topic here, but I'm just curious to know how people have reacted to being asked for their drivers licenses, or their personal medical history? Or having demands placed on them for photos from all angles? Is it safe to assume that either (or both) of you would bewilling to disclose such information to complete strangers when asked/demanded?


Have you found this to go over well and result in continued communication?


Ha!... Yes, I see your point about "demanding" information. There is a certain "finesse" when asking for more recent photos or perhaps a full body photo.


I normally ask very politely and stress the point that I have provided full updated photos. What you see is what you get with me. No surprises.


I remember an older male friend of mine placed some nice photos, unfortunately, they were taken from a distance. His first date didn't like the fact that he had a "comb-over".


This is exactly the situation I want to avoid. I do stress as well that we are both here for a reason and we should be completely open.


My two cents....





P.S I have been thinking of something interesting while reading these boards... there are passionate people and there are people that get straight to the point. I think I know the reason and I also think this will reflect different attitudes when dating. For instance:


I work with client's from all over. From the East Coast to the West Coast. I also have large accounts in Canada. I have accounts in the southern states as well.


When speaking with clients in the southern states I find that I must actually have a conversation with them before jumping into business. "How are you?...I'm doing great! The weather is great down here! Oh? Tell me about it."..... nice...slow...and polite.


When speaking with clients in New York for instance its all business and right to the point. Even rude in my opinion. Its not uncommon that they will be multi-tasking while on the phone with you. Yelling at someone in the background or conducting other business while on the phone with you. Guess what...I spend less time with those type of clients than with the ones that are polite. All business in the Northeast.


Any-hoo... I suspect the people on these boards are from all over and expect different things on a date, due to the environment they live in.... my two cents...
 
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dwreese182 is offline dwreese182 Post #34  April 15,2009, 4:13pm
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Shads,579700 wrote :

Ha!... Yes, I see your point about "demanding" information. There is a certain "finesse" when asking for more recent photos or perhaps a full body photo.


I normally ask very politely and stress the point that I have provided full updated photos. What you see is what you get with me. No surprises.


I remember an older male friend of mine placed some nice photos, unfortunately, they were taken from a distance. His first date didn't like the fact that he had a "comb-over".


This is exactly the situation I want to avoid. I do stress as well that we are both here for a reason and we should be completely open.


My two cents ....





P.S I have been thinking of something interesting while reading these boards... there are passionate people and there are people that get straight to the point. I think I know the reason and I also think this will reflect different attitudes when dating. For instance:


I work with client's from all over. From the East Coast to the West Coast. I also have large accounts in Canada. I have accounts in the southern states as well.


When speaking with clients in the southern states I find that I must actually have a conversation with them before jumping into business. "How are you?...I'm doing great! The weather is great down here! Oh? Tell me about it."..... nice...slow...and polite.


When speaking with clients in New York for instance its all business and right to the point. Even rude in my opinion. Its not uncommon that they will be multi-tasking while on the phone with you. Yelling at someone in the background or conducting other business while on the phone with you. Guess what...I spend less time with those type of clients than with the ones that are polite. All business in the Northeast.


Any-hoo... I suspect the people on these boards are from all over and expect different things on a date, due to the environment they live in.... my two cents ...
That's 4 cents, there is a 2 cent limit per post on the boards. Consider this your warning.
 
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hamjoe7 is offline hamjoe7 Post #35  April 15,2009, 4:18pm
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Interesting. I just closed a match because he had in his must have's "someone considered very attractive" by todays standards. I am not beautiful, but I ain't ugly either. But what bothered me about this was the emphasis "must have." physical attraction is part of the attraction, and yes, I do think someone can become more physically attractive to you once you get to know them better.
 
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Shads is offline Shads Post #36  April 15,2009, 4:28pm
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dwreese182,579726 wrote :

Shads,579700 wrote :


Ha!... Yes, I see your point about "demanding" information. There is a certain "finesse" when asking for more recent photos or perhaps a full body photo.


I normally ask very politely and stress the point that I have provided full updated photos. What you see is what you get with me. No surprises.


I remember an older male friend of mine placed some nice photos, unfortunately, they were taken from a distance. His first date didn't like the fact that he had a "comb-over".


This is exactly the situation I want to avoid. I do stress as well that we are both here for a reason and we should be completely open.


My two cents ....





P.S I have been thinking of something interesting while reading these boards... there are passionate people and there are people that get straight to the point. I think I know the reason and I also think this will reflect different attitudes when dating. For instance:


I work with client's from all over. From the East Coast to the West Coast. I also have large accounts in Canada. I have accounts in the southern states as well.


When speaking with clients in the southern states I find that I must actually have a conversation with them before jumping into business. "How are you?...I'm doing great! The weather is great down here! Oh? Tell me about it."..... nice...slow...and polite.


When speaking with clients in New York for instance its all business and right to the point. Even rude in my opinion. Its not uncommon that they will be multi-tasking while on the phone with you. Yelling at someone in the background or conducting other business while on the phone with you. Guess what...I spend less time with those type of clients than with the ones that are polite. All business in the Northeast.


Any-hoo... I suspect the people on these boards are from all over and expect different things on a date, due to the environment they live in.... my two cents ...


That's 4 cents, there is a 2 cent limit per post on the boards. Consider this your warning.
*mumbles*... "stupid eHarmony Police"....
 
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Deb55 is offline Deb55 Post #37  April 15,2009, 6:59pm
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jayjay,579591 wrote :

hankm25,579581 wrote :


I think looks are super important because it is about attraction. In fact, if I get match who is way hotter than I am I will close them out immediately. It just doesn't feel right if they are too hot. Does anyone else do this?


No way, I don't close them out. I have qualities that compensate for my lack of good looks.....like my collection of Star Wars memorabilia.
Awesome! The Star Wards memorabilia would get an instant communication from me! I actually mention how much of a Star Wars and Lord of the Rings nerd I am in my profile, just so guys know what they're getting into!


And yes, I have closed matches if they're too "hot". I'd rather be around a guy I think is cute but can feel comfortable around. I consider myself around the cute level I guess, and think I'd be worried about my looks ways too much around a guy who's hot. Maybe that sounds shallow, but there it is
 
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