Showing Interest is hot! Never asking questions - not.


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yeoww is offline yeoww Post #1  April 12,2009, 6:12pm
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I've communicating with two guys right now (not from EH). They're long-distance so it's been e-mail and phone calls for several weeks. We've exchanged lots of pictures. They both seem bright, funny, interested in kids (big plus for a single mom) etc.


But aside from the first couple of e-mails, neither of them ever asks me ANYTHING about me. They both write and talk constantly about themselves - camping trips, work dilemmas, dreams, plans. It's interesting to listen to but the lack of inquiry into anything about me is a damper! I've tried promptings, like "Is there anything you'd like to ask me?" or responding to their stories with similar stories on my end - but so far to no avail.


I can't figure out if these guys are nervous or simply not interested and looking for a female pen pal or phone buddy. They're both quick to write and call, so it's puzzling. One man in particular is talking about coming to visit me (a 2,000-mile trip!) but if he's completely self-absorbed I'd like to save us both the trouble.


I'd appreciate any input about what you think is going on? Suggestions about how to find out? Other than just coming out with "Let me get a word in edgewise!" or something equally frontal I'm at a loss. Help....
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #2  April 12,2009, 6:14pm
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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I have to wonder if they're just very self-centered.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #3  April 12,2009, 6:17pm
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It does seem “off.” Best I can offer is they may have reluctance to be seen as “grilling” you with questions.


Or, they’ve already established a willingness to meet, and therefore don’t really care for more data. Just keeping involved until that can be arranged.
 
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DDjr is offline DDjr Post #4  April 12,2009, 6:19pm
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JJ, I don't think so.


I know when I'm in this type of situation I'm biding my time until we meet. I'm not in "quiz mode". Between the short questions and long questions I usually have enough information to make a "meet / no meet" decision.


I think you're reading too much into the fact that these guys have a different communication's style than you.
 
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mermaid2244 is offline mermaid2244 Post #5  April 12,2009, 6:25pm
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Biostatistics! Whose idea was this anyway?

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I've noticed that many men go into "selling mode" when they first meet/talk to you and are a bit nervous. They tell me everything they can to make themselves sound more attractive or marketable. (Sort of that male primate display behavior). Truthfully, I get a huge kick out of it.


If it continues, it could be they live on their own planet, but in general, I find as they get more comfortable they relax and start asking more about me.
 
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VB_Girl is offline VB_Girl Post #6  April 12,2009, 6:30pm
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I had a friend with a similar situation. She would talk about herself and what was going on in her life and asked general questions about his. He would respond to her questions and talk about his life, but never asked for more information about hers. She eventually went out for coffee with him, but personality was the same. It was a one and done.


Hope your situation works out differently.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #7  April 12,2009, 6:30pm
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mermaid2244,575529 wrote :

(Sort of that male primate display behavior).
As opposed to that colorful female primate behavior?
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #8  April 12,2009, 6:33pm
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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D_Lion,575535 wrote :

mermaid2244,575529 wrote :


(Sort of that male primate display behavior).


As opposed to that colorful female primate behavior?
At least they're not engaging in other 'primate behavior'.
 
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mermaid2244 is offline mermaid2244 Post #9  April 12,2009, 6:37pm
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jayjay,575537 wrote :

D_Lion,575535 wrote :


mermaid2244,575529 wrote :


(Sort of that male primate display behavior).


As opposed to that colorful female primate behavior?


At least they're not engaging in other 'primate behavior'.
I never said I didn't do my share of primate behavior. The nice thing about a message board is that it keeps me from attempting to groom you all.
 
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Ingytravel is offline Ingytravel Post #10  April 12,2009, 6:39pm
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mermaid2244,575541 wrote :

jayjay,575537 wrote :


D_Lion,575535 wrote :


mermaid2244,575529 wrote :


(Sort of that male primate display behavior).


As opposed to that colorful female primate behavior?


At least they're not engaging in other 'primate behavior'.


I never said I didn't do my share of primate behavior. The nice thing about a message board is that it keeps me from attempting to groom you all.
HAHAHA!!! too funny Mermaid
 
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