Why dont men take a chance?


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zinggrrl is offline zinggrrl Post #1  April 12,2009, 12:57pm
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I'm waiting for a REAL man to come along...one who will take a chance on love and contact me. Are men nervous, afraid or just not paying attention? I read the thread started by a gal who went out on a date, got a good-night kiss and then nothing. She wondered why. EH responded by saying in essance that men dont like to be pushed. They dont like "thanks for the nice evening" emails from a gal. They like to wait a week or so before contacting a gal. OK...I get all this, but I would like some feedback on why they dont take a chance and initiate a conversation in the first place. I have 3 in my "interested" box and not one will take the next step. I'm still waiting...
 
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omar2 is offline omar2 Post #2  April 13,2009, 5:24pm
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It happens to both sexes.


I have about 5 icebreakers out right now, no response after about a week. 1 request for fast-track (that what her profile says she prefers) 3 days out, no response yet, and 2 sets of questions out, no response yet.


I was in open communication with a couple of women who stopped responding and never closed (several months). I am in process with two communicative women, which I guess isn't bad! Only problem is they both live farrrrrrrrr away :-(.





Keep on keeping on.
 
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Shads is offline Shads Post #3  April 13,2009, 5:31pm
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omar2,576563 wrote :

It happens to both sexes.


I have about 5 icebreakers out right now, no response after about a week. 1 request for fast-track (that what her profile says she prefers) 3 days out, no response yet, and 2 sets of questions out, no response yet.


I was in open communication with a couple of women who stopped responding and never closed (several months). I am in process with two communicative women, which I guess isn't bad! Only problem is they both live farrrrrrrrr away :-(.





Keep on keeping on.
The non-responsive members are no longer "members"... old trick of these type of sites.
 
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PY is offline PY Post #4  April 13,2009, 5:39pm

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zinggrrl, wrote :


They dont like "thanks for the nice evening" emails from a gal. They like to wait a week or so before contacting a gal.


Sorry I just have to say...there are a few of us REAL people who actually LIKE getting a sincere and polite 'thanks for the nice evening' from women and time is moooney...I ain't gonna wait a week or so before contacting a gal...the only catch is how strong attraction do I feel about this woman.


But to answer your question...yes...men take our chances....more so than many women, most of the time the expectation are upon our shoulder to initiate the first move, so knowing that we will be the recipient of rejection most of the time, we have to plan our chances better...either if we think you're outta our league or we are just not feelin' the instant chemistry...


LOL...I feel so liberated...using the word 'chemistry' for once...now will the OP wonder now what the heck does that chemistry feel?





Edit: I was going to say what Tbesq said...don't read too much of those stupid articles what men are like...just ask us straight...you'll be less confused.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #5  April 13,2009, 5:39pm
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zinggrrl, wrote :


I'm waiting for a REAL man to come along...one who will take a chance on love and contact me. Are men nervous, afraid or just not paying attention? I read the thread started by a gal who went out on a date, got a good-night kiss and then nothing. She wondered why. EH responded by saying in essance that men dont like to be pushed. They dont like "thanks for the nice evening" emails from a gal. They like to wait a week or so before contacting a gal. OK...I get all this, but I would like some feedback on why they dont take a chance and initiate a conversation in the first place. I have 3 in my "interested" box and not one will take the next step. I'm still waiting...


Why don't you "take a chance" and initiate communication by sending First Questions?


To many of the other things in your post I am not sure what you have been reading because this subject has been covered many times on the boards and it is usually that the girls find interesting matches and won't take a step. You are paying your money to communicate with your matches so when you find ones that you are interested in communicating with then do what you have signed up and paid for.


As for men taking a chance and starting communication, I have sent First Questions to 30 matches (all my current matches) and only one has responded. And she is taking her sweet time about it.
 
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tbesq is offline tbesq Post #6  April 13,2009, 5:42pm
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Zinggirrl, welcome to the eHarmony discussion boards.


Do not put too much stock in dating articles that tell you that man do not like to be pursued or are not ready for serious relationships. As for your frustrations with the lack of responses you're getting, I'm also going to presume that you are relatively new to eHarmony. Sometimes it takes a while to get a steady flow of matches.


The important thing to remember is that your online dating service will be best if you put forth a maximum effort into creating a profile that will attract a man's attention. This means:


1. Your profile should have at least one photo, preferrably two. They should be taken with a digital camera or other came with fine resolution. No hand-held camera phone shots, no disposable photos if possible. Pictures are important to men in deciding whether to contact matches.


2. Your "About Me" section should be written in a way that will help you stand out from the crowd. This means no one-word answers to questions which allow you to actually write out an answer.


5. Your profile should maintain a positive tone throughout. Everyone has had their share of frustrations with the opposite sex, but your online profile is not the place to air your man-grievances. The title/theme of your thread, while appropriate for the thread itself, is an example of what not to put in your profile.


4. You should initiate contact with men you are interested in. You may like be many women who wait for men to initiate contact even though she is paying good money for the dating service. I would personally not recommend that, especially if you are having trouble with men contacting you.


Also, keep in mind that at any given time up to half of your matches might be non-paying members. Non-paying members cannot contact matches.


Without knowing anything else about you, these are some tips to get you on the right track towards having online dating success.


Best of luck to you.
 
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BILLGOLF is offline BILLGOLF Post #7  April 13,2009, 5:43pm
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Shads,576577 wrote :

omar2,576563 wrote :


It happens to both sexes.


I have about 5 icebreakers out right now, no response after about a week. 1 request for fast-track (that what her profile says she prefers) 3 days out, no response yet, and 2 sets of questions out, no response yet.


I was in open communication with a couple of women who stopped responding and never closed (several months). I am in process with two communicative women, which I guess isn't bad! Only problem is they both live farrrrrrrrr away :-(.





Keep on keeping on.


The non-responsive members are no longer "members"... old trick of these type of sites.
OR they could be free weekend participants where you have to move fast before the time is up.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #8  April 13,2009, 5:44pm
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omar2,576563 wrote :

It happens to both sexes.


I have about 5 icebreakers out right now, no response after about a week. 1 request for fast-track (that what her profile says she prefers) 3 days out, no response yet, and 2 sets of questions out, no response yet.


I was in open communication with a couple of women who stopped responding and never closed (several months). I am in process with two communicative women, which I guess isn't bad! Only problem is they both live farrrrrrrrr away :-(.





Keep on keeping on.
If you are a paying member then you should never send IceBreakers as they are an indication of a non-paying member.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #9  April 13,2009, 5:48pm
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Hi Zing-o,


One way to get interesting men to be interested is by taking some initiative instead of sitting back and expecting the man to do all the work. (Novel concept, but try it.)


A large share of non-responsive matches are not paying, and are thus unable to reply.


FYI: if I buy a woman dinner and do not receive a sincere thank you, that is the end of the road.
 
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shellyg is offline shellyg Post #10  April 13,2009, 6:14pm
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zinggrrl, wrote :

I'm waiting for a REAL man to come along...one who will take a chance on love and contact me. Are men nervous, afraid or just not paying attention? I read the thread started by a gal who went out on a date, got a good-night kiss and then nothing. She wondered why. EH responded by saying in essance that men dont like to be pushed. They dont like "thanks for the nice evening" emails from a gal. They like to wait a week or so before contacting a gal. OK...I get all this, but I would like some feedback on why they dont take a chance and initiate a conversation in the first place. I have 3 in my "interested" box and not one will take the next step. I'm still waiting...
Some are nervous and have a fear of intimacy. Some are not paying attention, and the ones who are paying attention are posting about what your posting about. The only difference is their guys. Just my 2 cents...
 
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