Should I tell him I'm a lot older?


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three_eyes is offline three_eyes Post #1  April 12,2009, 8:05am
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I met someone last night at a bar and dang, he was cute. He asked me out, and eventually asked for and got my number. I have no idea if he'll call, but if he does I'm a little wary of going out with him, as I don't think he knows how much older I probably am. He didn't tell me his age, but my guess would be mid-twenties. I am 36, lol. I don't pretend to think I look like I'm his age, but I think I probably could pass for being early 30's at least. If he calls, should I tell how old I am, or just agree to go out and see what happens?
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #2  April 12,2009, 8:07am
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I would go out unless you are totally closed to the possibility of even dating a younger man (who may even look younger than his real age, too.)


Really, is there an alternate use for that time which is better spent? One full-length date, what’s the harm, compared to the possible gain?
 
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three_eyes is offline three_eyes Post #3  April 12,2009, 8:13am
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D_Lion,574787 wrote :

I would go out unless you are totally closed to the possibility of even dating a younger man (who may even look younger than his real age, too.)


Really, is there an alternate use for that time which is better spent? One full-length date, what’s the harm, compared to the possible gain?
Good point. And nope, I'm not opposed at all to dating someone younger. I do know based on what his career is that he can't be much younger than 25.


But should I ask him his age, and tell him mine, or just let it come out in good time (assuming we get that far)?
 
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MelinCali is offline MelinCali Post #4  April 12,2009, 8:19am
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three_eyes,574795 wrote :


Good point. And nope, I'm not opposed at all to dating someone younger. I do know based on what his career is that he can't be much younger than 25.


But should I ask him his age, and tell him mine, or just let it come out in good time (assuming we get that far)?


I am interested in seeing your responses three_eyes. I work on a university campus and a lot of people I run into think I'm a student and a lot younger that I really am. I just assume everyone I meet that looks under 40 is really young as well, but this does make me wonder about my judgement about a man's age--and how to find out without making a big issue of age.
 
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StatGamer is offline StatGamer Post #5  April 12,2009, 8:21am
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three_eyes,574795 wrote :

D_Lion,574787 wrote :


I would go out unless you are totally closed to the possibility of even dating a younger man (who may even look younger than his real age, too.)


Really, is there an alternate use for that time which is better spent? One full-length date, what’s the harm, compared to the possible gain?


Good point. And nope, I'm not opposed at all to dating someone younger. I do know based on what his career is that he can't be much younger than 25.


But should I ask him his age, and tell him mine, or just let it come out in good time (assuming we get that far)?
YAY! What a great thing to have happen to you! I hope he calls since that will also tell us he is a smart man


I think it's more important to see if you guys have something in common. If he asks of course you should tell and if you just get plain curious and it comes out in conversation, you could ask but I wouldn't feel compelled to either bring it up or hide it.


Do keep us updated and have fun!
 
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noseyparker is offline noseyparker Post #6  April 12,2009, 8:22am
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Depends on how serious this gets. Your age is irrelevant until this begins to have serious potential. I have been in the same situation. A hot looking 28 year old thought I was his age, when I was 42. The entire Dept knew of his attraction. Only he, was not aware of the huge age difference.


When he asked me to work with him for the Summer I knew this was my chance. I sent him a chronological resume. We are still good friends...


Darn! I WAS tempted...
 
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Ingytravel is offline Ingytravel Post #7  April 12,2009, 8:23am
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I think since neither one of you is lying/attempting to deceive....that your thought of letting it come out in conversation naturally is the best way....If you are enjoying eachother's company, have enough in common to talk about and share ...that's all that matters and not the number on your birth certificate It's about what works for each person..and what might be too large of an age differenceforone...may not be for someone else...Have fun
 
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three_eyes is offline three_eyes Post #8  April 12,2009, 8:48am
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StatGamer,574801 wrote :

YAY! What a great thing to have happen to you! I hope he calls since that will also tell us he is a smart man


I think it's more important to see if you guys have something in common. If he asks of course you should tell and if you just get plain curious and it comes out in conversation, you could ask but I wouldn't feel compelled to either bring it up or hide it.


Do keep us updated and have fun!
Thanks Stat! Yeah, it was a nice ego boost, I won't lie.


He was just so cute too - totally my type.


We shall see what happens, no idea if we've got anything in common other than some work/career stuff, but I certainly had fun talking to him last night.


Thanks for the good advice, think I'll just feel it out...
 
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three_eyes is offline three_eyes Post #9  April 12,2009, 8:49am
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noseyparker,574802 wrote :

Depends on how serious this gets. Your age is irrelevant until this begins to have serious potential. I have been in the same situation. A hot looking 28 year old thought I was his age, when I was 42. The entire Dept knew of his attraction. Only he, was not aware of the huge age difference.


When he asked me to work with him for the Summer I knew this was my chance. I sent him a chronological resume. We are still good friends...


Darn! I WAS tempted...
LOL - of course you were! I know exactly how you felt.
 
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three_eyes is offline three_eyes Post #10  April 12,2009, 8:52am
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Ingytravel,574803 wrote :

I think since neither one of you is lying/attempting to deceive....that your thought of letting it come out in conversation naturally is the best way....If you are enjoying eachother's company, have enough in common to talk about and share ...that's all that matters and not the number on your birth certificate It's about what works for each person..and what might be too large of an age differenceforone...may not be for someone else...Have fun
Thanks, I think you're right. Definitely not trying to deceive him, and I may be putting the cart before the horse anyway... though it's good to have an idea how to handle the situation in case it ever happens again! Thanks ingytravel!
 
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