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jayjay jayjay is online now
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FruitaBu wrote :

I have a flyswatter...and I'm not afraid to use it!
- April 12th, 2009, 05:52 pm
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jayjay wrote :

FruitaBu wrote :





I have a flyswatter...and I'm not afraid to use it!
- April 12th, 2009, 05:54 pm
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Attractiveness is a matter of personal preference, this is going to be different for everyone, as individuals have their own set of 'criteria'. Intellect is one of those areas that is easily misconceived by virtue of disagreement relating to ideology, politics, beliefs, values, ethics and morals. For the sake of this topic I'm going to mention that for me 'intellect' is about relating to someone on varying topics that may interest us or we can relate to.

I really try to stay away from people who use intelligence as a prop to validate themselves. The last thing I'm looking for in a relationship is intellectual posturing and comparing educational backgrounds.
- April 12th, 2009, 06:41 pm
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jayjay wrote :





...but some beautiful boxes are full of delicious, sweet chocolates.


[/quote]


And invariably,a fewof those will be sweet on the outside, but filled with something you're not going to like.








[/quote]


Yeah...like the ones that taste like they're filled with toothpaste. I prefer the exotic coconut filled ones.[/quote]

They make chocolates filled with toothpaste? Really? EWW!


Or am I channeling Emily Littella again? I swear I thought I sent her home!
- April 12th, 2009, 07:01 pm
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mermaid2244 wrote :

They make chocolates filled with toothpaste? Really? EWW!


Or am I channeling Emily Littella again? I swear I thought I sent her home!
"Never mind." LOL
- April 12th, 2009, 07:13 pm
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microbiologygeek, wrote :


From what I am reading, it seems to me, that, overwhelmingly, both women and men are obsessed with physical appearance and no one believes or even considers the possiblity that physical appearance does not necessarily lead to a compatible match in the long run. I find it incredible that someone will stay with an incompatible match, regardless of how much a bitch or bastard, just based on physical beauty. You do realize that cannot last? Do so many men and woman really settel for that? I have spent my life trying to figure out why I didn't really feel attracted to the men that most women seemed to adore. Really "hot" guys just didn't do it for me. I even wondered if there was something wrong with me. Then I discovered that an intellectual conection really did excite me. Unfortunately that particular one never worked out (I was too young?) but it did teach me something. I can honestly say that a mans' mind and heart matter WAY more to me than his physical appearance. "Hot" guys may look good but the moment they open their mouths and start saying stupid stuff, it is a thorough turn off. I don't mean a guy has to be Einstein, just that he has to show some ability to think beyond sex and sports. I really need an intellectual connection first but when I admit that, it seems to intimidate or turn off men (so they say). Does anyone else find this to be true or is it just me? Why is it so much of a liability to admit I want a deeper connection?


Let me just admit this upfront - I am superficial. Though I am not a gal that men would consider to be attractive, I still like to find a man who's appealing to me and my eyes. I will never say looks don't matter because it does matter to me to a certain degree. However, good looks alone is nothing unless the guy has intelligence and a great personality.


Now talking about good looking j3rks, here's one of my personal experiences...


I once received an email correspondence (on another site) from an English guy who lives and works in my city. He even attached a few photos of himself and no doubt he is tall and very handsome. Then when I checked out his profile, I found out that I am not his type. After that, I replied to his email and told him to carry on looking because I wasn't what he was looking for and wished him luck. A few hours later. he emailed me back and said I should try to get to know him first before turning away.


This guy was very persistent so I gave in and thought to myself, what's the harm of making a new friend? After a few emails, some chats on IM and a couple of phone calls, I agreed to meet him for coffee and a movie as friends and nothing more. Fastforward to our meeting day and 10 minutes before the movie starts, he just turned to tell me that I wasn't his type and shouldn't have wasted his time. I had the biggest WTF look on my face at that point. Didn'tI tell him that I wasn't his type in the first place?


If he wasn'tunpleasant to me, I might have continued to befriends with him but with that kind of attitude, he is truly the ugliest guy I have ever met in my life and he can go shove it


Oh by the way, not just the good looking people can be a b*tch or b@stard. Smart people can be that way too because some of themthink they are way better than others. That's a turn off as much as an unpleasant hottie


Note: Words in bold have been edited by me due to comment review.
- April 12th, 2009, 07:14 pm
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FruitaBu wrote :

jayjay wrote :


FruitaBu wrote :





I have a flyswatter...and I'm not afraid to use it!


LOL-- I love the eyes!
- April 12th, 2009, 07:32 pm
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To the OP: I think what you're really describing is that elusive and intangible quality known euphemistically as 'chemistry'. In other words, you either 'click' or you don't.


I also think that an element that is often 'lacking' between the sexes these days is a basic sense of 'good will'. Meaning, if bitter, hurt, disillusioned, or 'broken', there is a greater reluctance to 'engage' with the opposite sex ...


I've noticed that the men I like BEST are those who do actually LIKE women. That's not as big a percentage as many may think. Liking women extends far beyond their physical appearance, it extends into the psyche of all womanhood. At core, there is acceptance, not competitiveness. There is an 'embrace' of the feminine, not fear or anger.


A man can be the MOST physically attractive creature on the planet, with the intellect to match, but if he doesn't LIKE women ... well, it's a no-win scenario from the get-go. Men, on the other hand, who may lack zinging physical components or a sizzling intellect but LIKE women, are FUN & WARM to be around. Women snap up these fellas pretty damn quick. And vica versa. Women who LIKE men are picked up pronto.


Then there are those who sort of 'fence sit' - somewhat distanced and WONDER about it all ... That's sort of my experience. I periodically 'indulge', but in the main, PREFER to 'step back', primarily cuz I STILL don't believe I've met 'the One' yet. (I'm a hopeless romantic and BELIEVE 'there is the Right Man for Me' scenario...) I keep looking, keep trying, I keep EXPERIMENTING ... and that could just be the way it's going to go for me altogether. Don't know. I sure am 'racking them up'.


I guess I am ultimately 'waiting' for that CORRECT chemistry that not only 'clicks' but LOCKS . Like everyone. It hasn't happened YET, in totality, but here's ever hoping ...


Good luck in YOUR search.





- April 12th, 2009, 07:48 pm
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The initial attraction has to be there but as I've gotten older, what draws me in has changed. For example, used to be that the guy HAD to be taller than I am, I preferred dark hair, wouldn't accept anyone overweight, etc. Having been married to (and divorced from!) the guy who was my Perfect 10 in the looks department, I don't find the physical attributes to be nearly as important as self confidence, humor, interest in others, compassion. And if a man rules me out because I don't look like a 20-year-old anymore, then he's not the one for me anyway.


So I guess I'm saying in a long-winded way that the intellectual or emotional connection has to be there for me now as well as the physical. I don't say that up front though - I just let things develop (or not) - kind of an "actions speak louder than words" approach, I guess.


Boy, am I ever rambling!
- April 12th, 2009, 07:56 pm
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Physical beauty is a force to be reckoned with. The ancient Greeks knew this and actually considered "Beauty" as an abstract power right up there with the likes of Justice, Honor, and other high-falutin' virtues. I don't think youcan reallyhelp to whom you're physically attracted. Intelligence, while definitely a plus in any relationship--romantic, long-term, short-term, whatever, is an attribute that may be safely pursued outside of a committed, long-term relationship--this is what a community of faith and learning is all about.... No one person is going to satisfy _all_ needs.


Beauty though, is just too powerful to ignore. I fear that I may sound shallow, but I've seen (yep, experienced)highly compatible relationships, relationships that do "click" in terms of so many things: shared interests, intelligence, companionship, communication, etc., but alas, there was no physical attraction ever. Sure enough, after...phermones orwhatever chemicals wore off after those famous two years, there was not enough to keep the relationship alive.


Beauty in its true form to the beholder somehow withstands age, the test of time, and those infamous two year chemicals to persevere to a committed and lasting relationship (even then by grace of the powers that be). This may be ridiculously idealisitic, but back to those peskyGreeks, Beauty is powerful. Intelligence is best to recognize this. If I'm wrong,I thinkI'mokay with that...for a while at least!


- April 12th, 2009, 09:07 pm
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