In person chemistry is the ONLY thing that counts

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Pre-Internet, how did we do this? If you spied someone who peeked your interest, you'd approach that person. ...

I agree with you. I liked to meet quickly, and found I got along better with women with the aggression to meet sooner.

Have you dated anyone you met over the internet? From a pic, emails & phone calls you can have very little idea what a person is like. They're not going to tell you upfront that their children were taken away from them because they were an unfit parent...that they're living off settlements from past relationship and are basically unemployable....or that they are emotionally unstable. No one is going to tell you these kinds of things up front. If anything they'll try to hide things like this. It's only by meeting and spending some time with someone that things like this start to reveal themselves to you.

From my experience on EH I can say that the only thing that really counts is the chemistry that you experience when you meet. You can talk online or the phone for days, months, years and hours at a time, it doesn't matter at all...meeting in person you may not click. For this reason it is just not worth wasting time endlessly talking and wasting time on something that may not pan out.


I have chatted with people for over a month before meeting for hours at a time and all it took was 5 minutes to realize we had no chemistry at all. It was a huge waste of time for me andmy time isreally valuable to just spend it on someone who has no interest in me and I am sure their time is valuable as well.


For this reason it is best to very quickly go through the stages of communication and exchange maybe 1-2 emails through OC, perhaps speak once on the phone, determine to meet or not and if so just meet briefly for say a very low profile date, coffee or a drink and then take it from there if there is a mutual connection. All this wasting of time online is rather pointless and meaningless.


A "first date" online is not really a date but a meeting I would say. In real life when you ask someone out and they say yes some basic level of chemistry has already been established.


Just my $0.02, would like to hear other opinions as well.

Yeah I have. I've had people that jump to meet me IMMDIATELY and even though it may have worked out, I freak out because I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT THEM. It's like "take me as I am" with nothing else.


I hate people that want to meet right away. Chemistry is B-S. I want to know all the gory details that you list above.


Do you think if they lie to you in emails and phone calls that they won't do it in person??


The only think you learn in person is if the person is sexually attractive, i.e. if you would bang them or not.





I love a long period of phone calls and emails for online dating. If I have pics and can talk to them over the phone, I can get a really good idea of who they are.


I have no clue what this "chemistry" B-S is about other than it's you being sexually charged by their presence. And personally I'd rather not have that be the deciding factor in whether I pursue the person or not. It's a rather superficial estimation of an individual. And it seems kind of immature to me.


Meeting someone in person rarely changes anything for me. If they are good people, that should show up in phone calls and emails. And pics if necessary.


People are people. And I think a long time with emails/phone actually avoids all the horrible discrimination that occurs with the eyeballs. You can find some great catches without making stupid stereotypes based on their appearances.