wvchick304 is offline wvchick304 Post #1  April 7,2009, 8:12pm
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The first step is admitting right? I've started seeing a guy, we talked on the phone and texted for almost a month before our first date. We talked and texted a lot.. pretty much daily. Now, communication is getting thinner and thinner. We have plans to go out of town this weekend and they're still on. I don't want to be clingy, but I need some advice on how to suppress this monster!
 
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simpletonHeart70 is offline simpletonHeart70 Post #2  April 7,2009, 8:32pm
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I know what you're talking about. When I'm seeing someone I get a bit obsessive about them. Even if it's been a short time that I've known them. It's weird because I have these strong feelings like I really want to call and just say I'm thinking about her and how much she means to me. All while I know it doesn't make much sense, i.e. we're not that intimate yet.


The weird thing is I think "I can't wait to talk" or go see her, but when it happens I'm like "meh, I got all excited for this?".


I'm not sure what to do other than find things that occupy your time and thoughts. If you find your life is lacking and the relationship means too much to you, find something to fill that space. Take up some type of excercise, like running or biking. Get more social, join a church or a group.


The key is to focus on other things that get you excited and interested.
 
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wvchick304 is offline wvchick304 Post #3  April 7,2009, 8:36pm
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I think that may be why he's backing off a little? Trying not to seem so obsessed, but him backing off is making me obsessed...lol I'm a personal trainer, I'm fairly busy but the lack of communication makes me feel like I've done something wrong to make him not want to talk to me?
 
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bigfincat is offline bigfincat Post #4  April 7,2009, 8:46pm
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Talking daily would be a bit much for me early on. It does start to become engrained in the relationship that you are expected to communicate every day even when you really don't have time or have nothing to communicate.


I like to spend time with my SO but I would prefer communicating a few days per week mostly in person. Every day communication can seem like a chore as opposed to a joy.


Show him a good time this weekend & I am sure that all will be well.
 
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inn is offline inn Post #5  April 7,2009, 9:21pm
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bigfincat,568003 wrote :

Talking daily would be a bit much for me early on. It does start to become engrained in the relationship that you are expected to communicate every day even when you really don't have time or have nothing to communicate.


I like to spend time with my SO but I would prefer communicating a few days per week mostly in person. Every day communication can seem like a chore as opposed to a joy.


Show him a good time this weekend & I am sure that all will be well.
I agree with bigfincat. I couldn't stand daily communications.I prefer and like my space.


I'm not the clingy type; I'm not sure whypeople get so clingy. Perhaps your 'needy'? IF so, I would think you need to explore why. What is it that he offers that you can't get from others or from yourself?


Chat with your friends aboutthis, maybe they can provide someinsight. that's my 2cents.


Have fun this weekend!
 
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JMWTurnerFan is offline JMWTurnerFan Post #6  April 7,2009, 9:37pm
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Yes. If you have other friends & such around then it's not so hard to go for a while w/o talking to someone you're interested in. Of course, we all have our issues, and I must admit that I can be like this at times, too, if I'm disconnected from my other friends (my transient lifestyle right now makes this more frequent...but only for a few more weeks). But try not to do that. Take some time and reconnect with an old friend. Make new friends. Go out and be social. Find other connections so that this guy is just one part of your otherwise big, fulfilling life. While I agree w/ the poster above who recommended self-reflection, save it for later. Right now, fix the problem you're having here, then, when you've got yourself under control, take time and think about it. That way the thinking won't interfere with you not being clingy in the interim.
 
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wvchick304 is offline wvchick304 Post #7  April 8,2009, 5:25am
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Did I mention we're 3 hours apart? This distance thing may not be for me
 
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