Ever cancel a date out of vanity?


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blrdancer is offline blrdancer Post #1  April 2,2009, 6:58am
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Ok, I know that you're supposed to like someone for what's on the inside vs. the outside - but I also know you only haveone chance to make a first impression.


That said, have you or would you ever cancel/postpone a date for a purely superficial reason? In my particular, it's a zit the size the Mt. Vesuvius -- a third eye if you will. And right in the middle of my forehead -so really no way anyone is going to miss it. (and no effective way to cover it up)


I've had my struggles with acne over the years - but nothing like this since I was probably 16. And if it was just a little blemish, it'd be no big deal. But I'm seriously thinking about pushing the date back a day or two so that the poor guy won't have to stare at the monstrosity How horrible am I?


A couple of disclaimers:


1) This is not long distance so no travel is involved. (In fact, lives just a few blocks away.)


2) No special plans have been made. We just agreed to casually meet for a drink - and in fact, I was probably going to pick the place. And he said he was available several different days - so it wouldn't be hard to reschedule.
 
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tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #2  April 2,2009, 7:02am
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Pop the sucker and see what it looks like after awhile, then decide to postpone.
 
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boccabum is offline boccabum Post #3  April 2,2009, 7:05am
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I've never had to cancel a date out of vanity...I'm too good looking to need to do that! Just kidding


I don't think there's anything really wrong with what you did. You want to be at the top of your game and without distractions or worries. It's not vanity. If you were sick and had a runny nose, you probably would do the same thing. As long as you give this guy a reasonable amount of time before you cancelled (not 15 minutes before you were supposed to meet).


Ladies I suggest this: If you have to cancel/postpone a date, then it's YOUR turn to ask him out. You make the plans and treat him on the date. That's not only fair, but it will go a long way in showing you're intersted in him and appriciate spending time with this person.
 
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tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #4  April 2,2009, 7:07am
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boccabum,560185 wrote :




Ladies I suggest this: If you have to cancel/postpone a date, then it's YOUR turn to ask him out. You make the plans and treat him on the date. That's not only fair, but it will go a long way in showing you're intersted in him and appriciate spending time with this person.
+1
 
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BILLGOLF is offline BILLGOLF Post #5  April 2,2009, 7:07am
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Hi birdancer, NO, you are not horrible, you are smart here. I see no harm in rescheduling this date given your circumstances, I am not sure how to explain this, maybe say something(the zit?) came up thatyou need take care of. If I was your date I would glad you rescheduled. Welcome to the forums! Bill
 
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FruitaBu is offline FruitaBu Post #6  April 2,2009, 7:11am
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This is a pretty good question, actually! Especially in online dating... lots of pressure is on the first time you meet the person.


I remember one date I went on a week after I got out the hospital for emergency gall bladder surgery. I was just not looking my best at all. Plus I ended up with strange blisters in my mouth because of a reaction I had to some tube they used for a procedure.


Maybe it was the pain meds, but I decided to go anyway. lol I figured if the person liked me at my worst, then he was probably worth going on a second date with!
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #7  April 2,2009, 7:14am
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By all means postpone the date. If it bothers you, then you are going to be horribly self conscsious about it and not have any fun. The zit won't kill the date, but your discomfort will.
 
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blrdancer is offline blrdancer Post #8  April 2,2009, 7:20am
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Thanks guys! It's good to feel I'm not absolutely crazy. I'm usually not self-conscious , but I also know guys are visual people and I don't want him sitting there wondering "does she always look like this?" If it works out, I figure he'll have plenty of chances to see me at my worst - why make him jump that hurdle on the first date.


And when I call to postpone, I'm going to go ahead and reschedule at the same time so he knows I'm not trying to blow him off.
 
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javajava5 is offline javajava5 Post #9  April 2,2009, 7:27am
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Dear BirdDancer,


Welcome to these eHarmony Advice (eHA) boards and thanks for posting!


Get to the Dermatologist fast and have him inject your problem area with a steroid like Kenalog, or whatever they're now using. That should help a good bit so that you don't have to postpone your date unless your date is say, today.


When is your date by the way?


JavaJava5
 
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Steve_Cam is offline Steve_Cam Post #10  April 2,2009, 9:56am

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Yes.


-Steve Cam
 
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