Jacquiem is offline Jacquiem Post #61  April 23,2009, 7:28am
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is glad she can still surprise herself

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oh, how many times I've felt this. And yet, as I've stated before, I press on.


As much as I wonder how much more of the Moron Parade I can take before I meet the man who is right for me (not Mr. Right or The One or My Knight In Shining Armour, just the cool guy who is right for me),I know for certain that if I give up the hunt now, I WILL NEVER MEET HIM. If I resign myself to a life of loneliness now, I am guaranteed to be lonely for the rest of my life. Every day that I continue to make myself available to interested parties of the opposite sex, my chances of meeting my fella increase exponentially. Or continue on a steady linear path. Or remain stable. Or whatever statistical/mathematical analogy that is actually correct. You get my point.


Someone asked what you're doing to invIte jerks. You don't have to do much to invite jerks except stand erect and breathe. Now if you KEEP them around in your life, then it's all on you, but we all know there are plenty of liars and gameplayers in the dating world, and they don't care how sincere you are, you are just another score for them. Those who have encountered them (i.e., ALL OF US) have done nothing wrong short of giving people the benefit of doubt and a little bit of trust, which is what every new person you meet should get until they prove themselves unworthy of it. Otherwise nobody would get past "hello."


I agree with Nanette on the desperate thing. Just becuase you're alone and loney even, it doesn't mean you're desperate, so don't convince yourself that you are. It just means that RIGHT NOW you're alone and lonely. And there is nothing wrong with being/feeling either. All humans feel loneliness sometimes, it's natural - we weren't created to be alone, which is why we long for intimate companionship and feel lonely when we don't have it. That's your signal to act on fixing that, and making yourself available, getting to know people, becoming more social, making friends, and dating is how you do that. Get out there and figure out a way to not be so lonely. Maybe it's something as simple as not sitting at home alone all the time. That's what I have to do when I feel that way. I am NOT telling you not to be lonely, because that's crazy - if you're alone, don't like being alone, and wish you weren't alone that makes you lonely. I'm not ever going to tell anyone to get used to or like being alone. That would be the equivalent of telling you to resign yourself to loneliness, which is what I started out saying not to do.


Keep at it. Surround yourself with POSITIVE people. I had to stay away from those online forums full of nasty people who posted nasty things when they disagreed with folks. Other people's negative thinking CAN affect your outlook, so if you don't have one or two good, solid, grounded and loving friends who can support and uplift you, try hard to make some! Remain active in your life, pursue things that you enjoy doing and develop a healthy YOU. Whatever you do, don't close yourself off from the world, don't give up.
 
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Ingytravel is online now Ingytravel Post #62  April 23,2009, 8:05am
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Hoping for a bit of snow:)

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Great post Jacq!!! I love what you said about yes..we can run into the 'not so nice guys/gals'..it's whether you keep them around or not....So true!!! As well as surrounding yourself with positive people to encourage you as well as keeping your own life joyful and busy in the meantime...


I know for me..I'm gonna keep on, keepin' on!!! and try to have a wonderful time in the process
 
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Jacquiem is offline Jacquiem Post #63  April 23,2009, 8:21am
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is glad she can still surprise herself

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Believe it or not, Ingy, surrounding myself with positive people has proven the most difficult aspect of this whole not-wanting-to-be-single-anymore part of my life. I think I was kind of shocked at how negative some of the men and women I knew were toward the opposite gender! Even if they were in relationships!!! Ugh!! I had to stop talking to and spending time with some ofthese folks for my own peace of mind.


Being social is kinda hard, too, because I'm naturally a loner, but I do try to play well with others. And share my toys. And not hit.
 
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