When to contact after first date?


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Paperweight is offline Paperweight Post #21  March 31,2009, 2:22am
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See this stuff is where the whole "player" mentality came from. Go out on a date and then make the opposing person wait until you call back to have the chase start. That whole waiting three days to call her to put her in the frame of mind that you are independant and want to be free to do what you want. I don't believe in that crap. You did nothing wrong. She told you to call, then you did the right thing in calling her. She may have said that to end the night, but may not have REALLYfelt that connection. But instead of being rude to you and telling you that, she told you to call the next day, and thereforeignored you and your calls. Basically telling you, she's not interested. (There are people, guysAND gals like that.) Heck not too long ago, I went on a first date and was told to call her when I got home so she could be sure I got home okay, the SAME night. I did so and have been with her now in a relationship for about 2 months. There's nothing wrong with calling them the next day. At least to show them that you're a stand-up guy and thank them for the evening.
 
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Paperweight is offline Paperweight Post #22  March 31,2009, 2:37am
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Yeah this girl was definitely playing games with you. You said earlier that you barely knew her, but in a different posting you said that she wrote a text saying she felt she was falling in love with you (???) Somethings up with that. And by the way, going to a bar is not really a "date" environment. More like a "friend" environment.
 
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wpr101 is offline wpr101 Post #23  April 1,2009, 2:12pm
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glassonlyhalffull_fillit,555753 wrote :

"She gave me some confusing signals where she would either be txting me like in a boyfriend/girlfriend type way, or insulting me, which started playfully at first but turned into some downright mean and very personal ones from her side."





And you're upset you don't get a second date with this sweetie?


Seems like you dodged a bullet
I guess she used that seductive tactic of going hot/cold repeatedly. There was twice were she said things where I was like wow, I'm not talking to this girl again and then shortly after that she would say something that made me totally forget about that.


I was showing some of the texts to my friends (both pretty experienced with women) who also had mixed reactions. One said, dude it sounds like this girl really likes you, then I showed my other roommate a sequence of texts where he was like man, this girl is just messing with and you stop talking to her.


I figured it was worth seeing her again in real life, and maybe she was just kind of bipolar in text but more normal in real life. She seemed pretty cool when we met up.


I got really confused I guess, it's been like 3 years since I've been in a serious relationship and that part of my brain has been kind of dormant for awhile. Even though I knew there was no way she could love me based off what little contact we had, I desperately wanted that to be true.
 
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wpr101 is offline wpr101 Post #24  April 1,2009, 2:14pm
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"Heck not too long ago, I went on a first date and was told to call her when I got home so she could be sure I got home okay, the SAME night. I did so and have been with her now in a relationship for about 2 months. "


Yea, the last serious relationship I was in the girl told me to call her when I woke up the next day. And I was like ummm you know I will be getting up at 7am and you will be sleeping? She was like yea, and when I called her I did wake her up but she was happy to hear from me. She called me back later in the day, and we hit it off from there.
 
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simplemind is offline simplemind Post #25  April 1,2009, 11:49pm
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wpr101,558764 wrote :

"Heck not too long ago, I went on a first date and was told to call her when I got home so she could be sure I got home okay, the SAME night. I did so and have been with her now in a relationship for about 2 months. "


Yea, the last serious relationship I was in the girl told me to call her when I woke up the next day. And I was like ummm you know I will be getting up at 7am and you will be sleeping? She was like yea, and when I called her I did wake her up but she was happy to hear from me. She called me back later in the day, and we hit it off from there.
With your last serious relationship, her behaviour fit her words.


With the gal you opened this thread with...it didn't. And the more you elucidate, the more consistent her inconsistency becomes.


Whatever the root cause, the outcome of her actions is hurtful. Can't imagine she would improve with time.


Be very very glad you're done.


:-)
 
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verizen is offline verizen Post #26  April 8,2009, 9:15am
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What if you phone her twice after the first date and she doesn't pick up on the other line, does that mean anything? I'm in this particaular situation, I've attempted to call her twice but she hasn't picked up any of my calls. I still think about her on a daily basis, actually almost every 5 minutes...Is there anything I can possibly do?
 
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DDjr is offline DDjr Post #27  April 8,2009, 10:01am
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verizen,568323 wrote :

What if you phone her twice after the first date and she doesn't pick up on the other line, does that mean anything? I'm in this particaular situation, I've attempted to call her twice but she hasn't picked up any of my calls. I still think about her on a daily basis, actually almost every 5 minutes...Is there anything I can possibly do?
I hate this! Even if they do eventually call you back it sucks not knowing one way or the other.


Unfortunately other people have other lives and aren't necessarily sitting waiting for your call.


You can use the three strike rule. You've tried a couple of times. In a few days or so call her again and say, "Hey... Had a really good time on our date, hope you're interested to see me again! Give me a call when you get the chance!"


Not much you can do beyond that without becoming a stalker!
 
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