Advice and Support from Thousands of Users Just Like You

Dating First-date jitters? Hoping for a second date? Moving on to a full blown relationship? Share your journey and advice here.

Reply
Page 1 of 3 1 2 3
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Ninjastorm Ninjastorm is offline
Ninjastorm's Avatar

Ninjastorm Looking for friends.

Quick Study

Join Date: Mar 2009

Posts: 70

See profile



I am very shy. I am male, and am not good at talking to people. I mean, I see people who I want to talk to, but I have no clue how to open up a conversation. If I say hi, then she will say bye. I mean do I ask for an e-mail or number?? Or ..........I have no clue. *faints*
- March 28th, 2009, 07:14 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#1   Reply With Quote
D_Lion D_Lion is offline
D_Lion's Avatar

D_Lion - Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Join Date: Aug 2008

Posts: 11,030

See profile



A look inside the head of a pretty girl:

1. Oh, look, that guy seems pretty cool.

2. I hope he comes over and talks to me!

3. He is! Great

4. (Carp, do I have food in my teeth?)

5. What’s he gonna say? I’ll have to reply (without seeming a doofus!)

6. OMG, catch my breath!


A guy, suave and cool, need only walk over and lean in 3 millimeters too close (precision in all things) and says, “hi.” Try it!

- March 28th, 2009, 07:32 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#2   Reply With Quote
Ninjastorm Ninjastorm is offline
Ninjastorm's Avatar

Ninjastorm Looking for friends.

Quick Study

Join Date: Mar 2009

Posts: 70

See profile



I am scared she will kill me. I tried to say hi once, and I almost threw up. I try to smile and I am sure the women think " Ohgod, he is a stalker." I can not win.
- March 28th, 2009, 07:34 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#3   Reply With Quote
luvablefrog luvablefrog is offline
luvablefrog's Avatar

luvablefrog Is getting discouraged-where have all the princes gone?

Enthusiast

Join Date: Mar 2008

Posts: 908

See profile



seems you could use a lesson or 2 in self-confidence! You have to start somewhere. Don't just do "hi", do a "how are you today?" or something open-ended. So what if they say "fine" and walk off. Anybody that's been here for a while will tell you you just gotta keep trying. Does it get hard sometimes? You betcha. But not trying's not going to get you anywhere, will it?
- March 28th, 2009, 07:41 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#4   Reply With Quote
NathanCM NathanCM is offline
NathanCM's Avatar

Pacesetter

Join Date: Feb 2009

Posts: 271

See profile



I'll not jump on the OP, this is probably one of the number one things men fear. A young man will charge into machine gun fire to take out bad guys, but quakes in his boots to cold approach a female.


I think most guys have a problem not in the approach, but in the follow through. Everyone can say "how you doin'" like the Fonz but then what? What is your next question? She says "great, how about you?" you answer "great...........now what"


Its tough dude, no doubt. It gets easier with practice. Just use the basics. Name, occupation, where are you from will get you a good five minutes of conversation - which is more than you get without approaching at all.
- March 28th, 2009, 07:47 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#5   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

D_Lion D_Lion is offline
D_Lion's Avatar

D_Lion - Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Join Date: Aug 2008

Posts: 11,030

See profile

Ninjastorm wrote :

I am scared she will kill me. I tried to say hi once, and I almost threw up. I try to smile and I am sure the women think " Ohgod, he is a stalker." I can not win.
This is unlikely. In fact, it is highly unlikely (most US murder victims are involved in criminal enterprises.)


I would advise to take a chance. Most likely, you’ll survive ... I think. If not, c’est la vie!
- March 28th, 2009, 07:55 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#6   Reply With Quote
D_Lion D_Lion is offline
D_Lion's Avatar

D_Lion - Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Join Date: Aug 2008

Posts: 11,030

See profile

NathanCM wrote :

Everyone can say "how you doin'" like the Fonz but then what? What is your next question?
“I’m convinced the European Central Bank is, yet again, overly hawkish; I find it tiresome, don’t you?”


Or, “care to have a casual encounter?”
- March 28th, 2009, 07:56 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#7   Reply With Quote
Number2 Number2 is offline
Number2's Avatar

Number2 D<

Quick Study

Join Date: Mar 2009

Posts: 123

See profile



Tip: Don't ask for her number flat out. It will make you seem like you're only intrested in one thing if you know what I mean. Take clues and hints from your surroundings and her even. Like for example, say you're at a bookstore and she's holding a book, be all "do you know if that's a good read?" or say "You like that author too?" just make sure you actually know what your talking about so you don't look like a phony later.


My other advice is to make sure you make some form of eye contact. When people are nervous or intimidated, they often don't make eye contact. Don't scare her off by staring at her (in the creepy way), but when you say hello, try to at least once look her in the eyes.
- March 28th, 2009, 08:01 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#8   Reply With Quote
illustrator illustrator is offline
illustrator's Avatar

illustrator - "Do these sweatpants make my butt look big?"

Virtuoso

Join Date: Mar 2008

Posts: 2,529

See profile

Ninjastorm, wrote :

If I say hi, then she will say bye. I mean do I ask for an e-mail or number??
If you were her, would you give out your number to some stranger who simply asked for it?


You're trying to run before you can even walk.


Make yourself talkative to everyone, not just to the woman you desire. And be aware. Are you simply babbling, or do you capture an audience?You have to develop social competence first. This is just one of those things you learn only from doing.


What to say? Based on your profile, you seem to watch a lot of TV. How do the (normal) characters interact, what do they talk about, etc ....
- March 28th, 2009, 08:04 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#9   Reply With Quote
dreamspiral dreamspiral is offline
dreamspiral's Avatar

Quick Study

Join Date: Jan 2009

Posts: 109

See profile



I have the same problem. When I am attracted to a girl that I am interested in... I become almost vocally paralyzed. I try to tell myself to view her as just any person that I am not attracted to... but, that doesn't always work. I think what's the use? she probably has a girlfriend or is married. I wish I knew how to determine if she is available without making a fool of myself.
- March 28th, 2009, 08:08 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#10   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

Reply
Page 1 of 3 1 2 3

Bookmarks

« should I give him another chance after he cheated? help | Array | Befuddled... »
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Oh, don't fret so. I'm only wondering that both of you are "too" into each other after a couple of dates. Be sure to keep up your own life. You want a romantic interest not an emtional crux. Mind you ... ” – Fleuellen

Join the “always so paranoid” discussion

“ Although I don't doubt there are men that can be attracted that would not "poof" because of your behavior I would have to say that the fact they don't "poof" is the most damaging evidence of their ... ” – Can_I_just_be_Jo

Join the “Need some advice please...” discussion

“ He knows the abuse wasn't sexual, and he knows I am not gay or bisexual.” – charity8987

Join the “Argh, screwed up with new guy.” discussion

“my dream color is medium red brown with auburn tones” – jtwark

Join the “L'Oréal's 'Find Your Fall Hair Color' Sweepstakes!” discussion

“all, or most of my matches lately have been people that never reply to the first step of communication or their profile says to contact them on facebook. it seems to me that these profiles are people ... ” – Coca-Cola

Join the “matches dont respond/their profile says contact them on face book” discussion

“"Billed in one installment of $239.40" means, "Billed once for $239.40." Pardon me for saying this, but if I had less than $40 in my bank account, buying an eHarmony subscription will be the least ... ” – Coca-Cola

Join the “eHarmony payment plans” discussion

“ Call them!” – Coca-Cola

Join the “FCW - Interesting Problem” discussion

“It appears the OP hasn't participated in EhA since she login and posed her question initially. We all come to these advise boards with so many different backgrounds...in fact I wrote another post on ... ” – RoxyRedhead

Join the “Frustrated & Confused: Is He A Sexual Addict???” discussion



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:10 am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2009, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.3.0