Trouble talking to women


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Ninjastorm is offline Ninjastorm Post #1  March 28,2009, 6:14pm
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I am very shy. I am male, and am not good at talking to people. I mean, I see people who I want to talk to, but I have no clue how to open up a conversation. If I say hi, then she will say bye. I mean do I ask for an e-mail or number?? Or ..........I have no clue. *faints*
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #2  March 28,2009, 6:32pm
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A look inside the head of a pretty girl:
1. Oh, look, that guy seems pretty cool.
2. I hope he comes over and talks to me!
3. He is! Great
4. (Carp, do I have food in my teeth?)
5. What’s he gonna say? I’ll have to reply (without seeming a doofus!)
6. OMG, catch my breath!


A guy, suave and cool, need only walk over and lean in 3 millimeters too close (precision in all things) and says, “hi.” Try it!
 
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Ninjastorm is offline Ninjastorm Post #3  March 28,2009, 6:34pm
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I am scared she will kill me. I tried to say hi once, and I almost threw up. I try to smile and I am sure the women think " Ohgod, he is a stalker." I can not win.
 
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luvablefrog is offline luvablefrog Post #4  March 28,2009, 6:41pm
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seems you could use a lesson or 2 in self-confidence! You have to start somewhere. Don't just do "hi", do a "how are you today?" or something open-ended. So what if they say "fine" and walk off. Anybody that's been here for a while will tell you you just gotta keep trying. Does it get hard sometimes? You betcha. But not trying's not going to get you anywhere, will it?
 
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NathanCM is offline NathanCM Post #5  March 28,2009, 6:47pm
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I'll not jump on the OP, this is probably one of the number one things men fear. A young man will charge into machine gun fire to take out bad guys, but quakes in his boots to cold approach a female.


I think most guys have a problem not in the approach, but in the follow through. Everyone can say "how you doin'" like the Fonz but then what? What is your next question? She says "great, how about you?" you answer "great...........now what"


Its tough dude, no doubt. It gets easier with practice. Just use the basics. Name, occupation, where are you from will get you a good five minutes of conversation - which is more than you get without approaching at all.
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #6  March 28,2009, 6:55pm
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Ninjastorm,553117 wrote :

I am scared she will kill me. I tried to say hi once, and I almost threw up. I try to smile and I am sure the women think " Ohgod, he is a stalker." I can not win.
This is unlikely. In fact, it is highly unlikely (most US murder victims are involved in criminal enterprises.)


I would advise to take a chance. Most likely, you’ll survive ... I think. If not, c’est la vie!
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #7  March 28,2009, 6:56pm
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NathanCM,553136 wrote :

Everyone can say "how you doin'" like the Fonz but then what? What is your next question?
“I’m convinced the European Central Bank is, yet again, overly hawkish; I find it tiresome, don’t you?”


Or, “care to have a casual encounter?”
 
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Number2 is offline Number2 Post #8  March 28,2009, 7:01pm
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Tip: Don't ask for her number flat out. It will make you seem like you're only intrested in one thing if you know what I mean. Take clues and hints from your surroundings and her even. Like for example, say you're at a bookstore and she's holding a book, be all "do you know if that's a good read?" or say "You like that author too?" just make sure you actually know what your talking about so you don't look like a phony later.


My other advice is to make sure you make some form of eye contact. When people are nervous or intimidated, they often don't make eye contact. Don't scare her off by staring at her (in the creepy way), but when you say hello, try to at least once look her in the eyes.
 
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illustrator is offline illustrator Post #9  March 28,2009, 7:04pm
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Ninjastorm, wrote :

If I say hi, then she will say bye. I mean do I ask for an e-mail or number??
If you were her, would you give out your number to some stranger who simply asked for it?


You're trying to run before you can even walk.


Make yourself talkative to everyone, not just to the woman you desire. And be aware. Are you simply babbling, or do you capture an audience?You have to develop social competence first. This is just one of those things you learn only from doing.


What to say? Based on your profile, you seem to watch a lot of TV. How do the (normal) characters interact, what do they talk about, etc ....
 
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dreamspiral is offline dreamspiral Post #10  March 28,2009, 7:08pm
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I have the same problem. When I am attracted to a girl that I am interested in... I become almost vocally paralyzed. I try to tell myself to view her as just any person that I am not attracted to... but, that doesn't always work. I think what's the use? she probably has a girlfriend or is married. I wish I knew how to determine if she is available without making a fool of myself.
 
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