Trouble talking to women


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wpr101 is offline wpr101 Post #21  March 30,2009, 6:51am
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Do you have any talkative guy friends?


My friends and I have had success approaching girls, by having one guy go over and start conversation. Then the other guy comes over like 30-60 seconds later to be introduced. This works because girls don't like a whole group of guys coming up to them at once.


Find a good wingman and it will help a lot.
 
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tasmanian is offline tasmanian Post #22  March 30,2009, 8:31am
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Ninjastorm, wrote :


I am very shy. I am male, and am not good at talking to people. I mean, I see people who I want to talk to, but I have no clue how to open up a conversation. If I say hi, then she will say bye. I mean do I ask for an e-mail or number?? Or ..........I have no clue. *faints*


Ninjastorm, i think it is a commen thing for alot of people to be nervous when it come's to speaking to some one that you may be interested in, and the best advice i can give you is that you have nothing to loose by approaching some one you like and talking to them, now if she is sending you signs that she would like you to approach her and talk, just remember that she may very well be as nervous as you are, just take a deep breath and say something, don't worry if you stumble over your words,who cares just don't act cocky like your big stuff,and if she rejects your approach use it as a learning exsperience.you may be shot down 9 times but#10 maybe the ticket. good luck!
 
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David_Lewis is offline David_Lewis Post #23  March 30,2009, 9:43am
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This topic has been done to death inother eHarmony threads, and some of those discussionscontainsuperb practicaladvice on how to systematically overcome this common problem. If you go out andpractice theexercises they suggest, many of whichhave been taken from expensive pick up manuals, you canput yourselfon the fast track to success with cold approaches.
 
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simplemind is offline simplemind Post #24  March 30,2009, 11:22am
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I'm guessing that it's a common subject, because we all get The Shy's from time to time. Kicks it up a few levels if you have something on the line, like your feelings/getting rejected/getting accepted and then rejected....


So there's normal "new to each other" shyness, and you've got lots of good advice here (and apparently elsewhere?).


But if you're shy with everyone, and are clammy and paralyzed when trying to strike up a conversation; sometimes, just sometimes, it's a social phobia. If practicing, talking with friends, passage of time, etc doesn't yield any change in this--then you might havea phobia. Lots of ways to deal with them, some better than others. Think about how pervasive it is in your world, and if not just with girls, then it might be time to do a little research online and see what's available in your area.


Goodluck, Ninja.
 
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Dafearon is offline Dafearon Post #25  March 30,2009, 12:57pm
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Daferaon's advice of someone who was right where you were not too long ago.


I know the fear that digs into the depths of your stomach when you see some girl. I know how it tears at you if something good comes out and you so desperately don't want to make a mistake. You think that one false step, and you will fall through the cracks never to recover. I know the fear of trying to be absolutely perfect because to step out of line means failure and that fear of failure has its grips on you while it squeezes tighter and tighter.


Now step back. Give yourself permission to be human. Give yourself permission to make a mistake. Tell yourself its okay for you to find someone attractive. Tell yourself its okay if they don't feel the same way about you. Draw a line and define yourself. Once you do that, be happy and confident within those lines. Pretty much, anything that is on you and you alone, you are allowed to feel. You feel attracted to someone....Its OKAY. You want to make some kind of move, its oikay. Keep in mind that you are not doing anything wrong. Failure means nothing because you are not anywhere worse if the woman says no, then you were five minutes BEFORE you said something. BUT if she says yes, you are light years ahead of where you were at.


Eye contact in very simple, but hard at the same time. I'm sure that if you try to make eye contact with a woman and you make that eye contact, your first reaction is to look away. This will doom you. This sends the message you did something wrong. You didn't. Accept that you did nothing wrong. When you do that, you will not look away, but instead, confront the challenge because there is nothing wrong in doing so.
 
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thefinerlife is offline thefinerlife Post #26  March 30,2009, 4:07pm
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tasmanian,555278 wrote :

Ninjastorm, wrote :


I am very shy. I am male, and am not good at talking to people. I mean, I see people who I want to talk to, but I have no clue how to open up a conversation. If I say hi, then she will say bye. I mean do I ask for an e-mail or number?? Or ..........I have no clue. *faints*


Ninjastorm, i think it is a commen thing for alot of people to be nervous when it come's to speaking to some one that you may be interested in, and the best advice i can give you is that you have nothing to loose by approaching some one you like and talking to them , now if she is sending you signs that she would like you to approach her and talk, just remember that she may very well be as nervous as you are, just take a deap breath and say something, don't worry if you stumble over your words,who cares just don't act cocky like your big stuff,and if she rejects your approach use it as a learning exsperience.you may be shot down 9 times but#10 maybe the ticket. good luck!
absolutly..... If you dont you are still where you were at, if you do talk then who knows you have gotten one step closer.... nothing to loose


Keep approching them, the more you do the more confident you will be in doing so..
 
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Greingo is offline Greingo Post #27  March 30,2009, 5:33pm
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Eye contact and casually talk about anything relevant, how great the local band is playing at the pub, the book/movie she's holding at the store. Keep eye contact for up to a second after you talk, for most women, it's a turn on. Women love the whole looking into your eyes thing because it's a window to the soul according to them and it hits them hard most times. "I have eyes only for you" phrase pops up and women eat it up...KEY PHRASE: EYE CONTACT


Just remember, most women are as nervous as you are, some even more! Keep in mind that if she does reject you, think to yourself that she's missing out on a great guy and I've lost nothing. There are thousands if not millions of women in whatever state you're living in at your age level and you're letting one dissapoint you?


Of course, I have to practice what I preach.
 
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