D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #1  March 28,2009, 4:08pm
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- Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

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Contrary to popular belief, I do not think it is a goal of most men to “have” a virgin. Through, for the small portion of men who choose to wait until marriage, I assume it is very desirable.


Problem is, most reasons for being a virgin range from problematic to deal-breaker: unattractive, stuck-up, emotional problems, overbearing theology … For this reason, I would not disclose the situation in your profile (don’t lie, just omit).


Let things progress (if intimacy is what you want, this will be no problem), then disclose. If he cares for you, I think he will accept it.
 
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know_myself is offline know_myself Post #2  March 28,2009, 4:15pm
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Thanks, D_Lion. I don't believe I'm unattractive, and I'm certainly not stuck-up. Yes, I may have emotional issues to deal with as I grew up in a very conservative household...but I really want to experience a meaningful relationship that involves emotional intimacy and, ultimately, physical intimacy as well. I think I'm ready. If only the fella would be willing to be a bit more patient with me versus his previous, experienced romantic interests.
 
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know_myself is offline know_myself Post #3  March 28,2009, 4:26pm
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Hey, I still need more views! Anybody else?
 
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neardc is offline neardc Post #4  March 28,2009, 4:27pm
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Toodles, sayonara, and happy trails! Wishing everyone luck and love...

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If you look on the boards here, you'll find that your situation is not as unique as you might suppose.I suggest that youtake a look at the similar thread here (http://advice.eharmony.com/discussio...gin/30013.html), as well as at some of the many other threads on this issue that are posted at the link I posted in that thread.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #5  March 28,2009, 4:30pm
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know_myself,553031 wrote :

Hey, I still need more views! Anybody else?
Mighty impatient, are you?????????????????????


Well then, come on over!
 
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lil_lamb is offline lil_lamb Post #6  March 28,2009, 4:54pm
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if you're comfortable with where you're at, guys will be comfortable with it too.


also, i'd say don't try to discuss it in the hypothetical with a date. whether a guy likes virgin you is a very different question from whether guys want to deal with virgins. no one wants to deal with *virgins*; they want a person, not a category.
 
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BobinFla is offline BobinFla Post #7  March 28,2009, 5:27pm
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You must live your life the way you feel is best for you. There is no problem being a virgin (well, shouldn't be).


I would not disclose that you are a virgin until you have met some one where you want the intimacy. There a lot of guys if they knew that, would put lots more pressure on you to be the one to pop your cherry. Let the sex part just come about, and when you are ready to consent to having sex, and where you are going to let it happen, let him him know then (there are guys still out there that are concerned about you being pleased also).


I would say to not rush it because you are a virgin (which you have already said you do not aim to do), but let it happen when you are ready. You do not have to have sex to keep a guy.


Good luck in your search.
 
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Co6aka is offline Co6aka Post #8  March 28,2009, 5:47pm
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With this in mind, I've started meeting people through Craigslist.


No, please no, not that place, no, no, no. Just sign up here. Carefully and patiently find "the one" and let everything play out by itself naturally.
 
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know_myself is offline know_myself Post #9  March 28,2009, 5:54pm
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Hey fellow seekers of advice,


I'm 33 and still a virgin! Aaaaaagh! In school I was too focused on my studies. In my 20s I was too focused on my work and did not also want to raise the ire of my conservative and religious household. Now I'm in my 30s and my own person.


At the same time, I just don't want to have sex with anybody. There has to be a strong emotional connection and a highprobability of a long-term commitment. With this in mind, I've started meeting people through Craigslist. Haven't found anybodyI'm really interested inyet, but if I do I have a question: would he not want to date me because of my situation?


I myself am totallyliberal and secular, so I usually end upmeeting people with similar values. And the ones I've met all seem to be quiteexperienced. While I've experienced only onekiss in my entire life.


Thanks for your views.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #10  March 28,2009, 6:37pm
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Co6aka,553135 wrote :

With this in mind, I've started meeting people through Craigslist.


No, please no, not that place, no, no, no. Just sign up here. Carefully and patiently find "the one" and let everything play out by itself naturally.

That seems like sound advice.


(I always though Craig's List was a place to buy and sell stuff)
 
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