Hi Angel...


I think it's very important that we follow the value system that we've formulated based on our life experiences. Keeping an open mind is always a wise choice, but so too is minding our boundaries.


Whether he's separated or divorced... what are(were)the circumstances? I'm not so much concerned about the status as the circumstance. What caused the dissolution in the first place? How long have they been separated?


After my own divorce, I can say completely honestly that being with someone who is "divorcing" is a real wild card. Unless they are simply waiting for the process to complete, there is an enormous amount of emotional uncertainty. That person will simply not be themself or at their best. What's more, what will they have left or available for you, or what will you have to endure as a result. I want to find someone who isableto enter into a relationship in a healthy way.... emotionally and spiritually. I really don't believe that can happen while still attached to someone else. I do believe it can be completely over... that there is little risk of reconciliation with their former partner, but unless everything is completely settled, your potential mate is still embroiled in a very emotionally charged process. How can they have healed fully if they are still involved in the process.


Time away from that situation spent in solitude and contemplation is what I personally look for. Have they considered and tried to understand that which caused the demise of their union?


Starting arelationship with someone who is still in the process is not necessarily bad, but it is very risky. If they have been separated for years and have simply not finalized the divorce process.... I would want to understand why. What's the point of divorcing without divorce? I've met a few people who continue to live in this state and in most cases, I simply can not understand it. I'm not judging them... it's simply not for me.


Follow your principles and value system and be honest with yourself... and more, expect the same from your potential partner... it will serve you well.


Best of luck


Tim