I'd like around my age...are men hoping for much younger?


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kahappy is offline kahappy Post #1  March 23,2009, 12:52pm
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I'd love to hear the opinions of the other women on this.





I am 39 years old. I would like to meet someone who is around my age. He doesn't have to be 38-41, but fairly close would be nice. Let it be said that I have dated guys 10 years younger than me, and that just didn't seem to work out very well.





The matches I seem to get are men much older. I'm talking late 40's, mid 50's. It is very, very rare that I receive a match who is close to my age of 39.





So what is going on here? Are the 50 year old men hoping to meet a woman in her mid to late 30's (which to them would be a "younger woman")? Meanwhile, the guys my own age are also hoping to meet a younger woman, and thus wanting to be matched up with 20 year olds?

I should add that I am constantly told all of the time that I do not look near my age. Most people think I am in my late 20's, early 30's at the most. I appreciate this and would hope it might work to my advantage, but if no one my own age wants a woman who is 39, well...I'm outta luck I guess!





Is anyone else experiencing this?
 
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PY is offline PY Post #2  March 23,2009, 12:55pm

Sometimes...just be a bigger person and take the high road.

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39 years old is definitely within my age range...especially if she is emotionally healthy, financially responsible, and attractive.


You can tell by looking also at the pictures on this board...there are some of you who are over 40 and still looking mighty fine....
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #3  March 23,2009, 12:56pm
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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From personal experience, as a 43 year old man who still entertains hopes of having a child I tend to look for women a little younger than you. This could be part of the reason you get little contact from men your own age...as well as the fact that some may simply want a younger woman simply out of preference. Have you had bad luck with the late 40s men?
 
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kahappy is offline kahappy Post #4  March 23,2009, 1:00pm
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jayjay, I have. I've dated two in the last few years. Both are most likely confirmed bachelors who are very self centered and really weren't into dating with the intention of forming a lasting relationship. (Neither had ever been married before; probably never will).


I suppose you are correct that men my age may be seeking out a woman who could still have a family with him. That kind of makes me sad, but it's probably accurate. Thanks for pointing that out; I actually hadn't thought about it.
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #5  March 23,2009, 1:07pm
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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Ooh....guys who aren't serious about a relationship don't sound like what you're looking for. Though, I have to wonder if, as a percentage, there are even more of those guys who just want to 'date' without getting into a relationship at younger ages.
 
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Mokkesofie is offline Mokkesofie Post #6  March 23,2009, 1:09pm
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It is my impression that men the same age as oneself look for younger women. At 56 I'm apparently "over the hill" which is sad.
 
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PY is offline PY Post #7  March 23,2009, 1:09pm

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This is pure ignorance, but I thought women can safely deliver babies well into her 40s?


Also, I wasn't sure about adopting before...until my friend adopted a baby a couple years ago...the baby was so cute and I've never seen them that happy...so that changed my mind about adoption...
 
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kahappy is offline kahappy Post #8  March 23,2009, 1:12pm
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jayjay, good point. Perhaps you're right, but then again I would hope if a man is on eHarmony, he is taking it seriously. I mean, there are other sites on the Internet if all you want to do is hook up, right?





Mokkesofie, I hope you were not offended. I just know I wouldn't be comfortable dating someone who is closer to my parents' age than mine. I just don't think I would have a lot in common with someone who is that much older than me. That's the point I was trying to make.
 
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GDBroker is offline GDBroker Post #9  March 23,2009, 1:13pm
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I'm 37 and the three most promising matches I've reached OC with were 38, 39 and 40, so I guess that answers your question...there are some of us men out there looking in our own age range. Now as for why it seems all the dynamic women on this board never seem to live in my area is another question for another thread.


Mike
 
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kahappy is offline kahappy Post #10  March 23,2009, 1:14pm
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This is pure ignorance, but I thought women can safely deliver babies well into her 40s?


Also, I wasn't sure about adopting before...until my friend adopted a baby a couple years ago...the baby was so cute and I've never seen them that happy...so that changed my mind about adoption...





Sure, women can have children into their 40's. Look at Nicole Kidman. Halle Berry. But I'm sure jayjay is right in that a man my age is going to hope to land a younger woman (for several reasons, not just to have a family).
 
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