Does me being a police officer mess with my chances?


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htowncop is offline htowncop Post #1  April 14,2008, 10:37pm
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Im a police officer, a proud one at that. Cops get a seriously bad reputation these days and rightfully so. Lets face it with the badge comes a TON of authority i make decisions daily that can alter the course of someones entire life for better or for worse. With a simple judgement call on my behalf you can go away for years or be turned loose to do as you will.



I have been cruising the internet trying to get women's viewpoints on police officers and if they make viable "dates". From what i have seen to my great dissappointment is that most women seem to think its an incredibly BAD thing. The following is what i have seen the most of...



1.Police officers drink alot.

2.Police officers beat their wives.

3.Police officers always end up cheating on their wives.



Me personally, i do not drink.. i never have and never want to i have seen what that crap does to people and i do not want it to happen to me.. Police officers beat their wives? I feel incredibly guilty when i have to place a woman in a pair of handcuffs let alone if i have to use any sort of force on them. I would never.. EVER beat my wife under any circumstances shape or form raise my fist against the woman i love. I just couldn't do it. Police officers end up cheating on their wives? I have had several "serious" relationships in my life i have never cheated on any of them, i have LOOKED at other women sure i AM a guy after all im GOING to notice attractive females anyone who says they dont notice attractive people of the opposite sex are lying. But if im in a relationship with someone i am IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEONE.. i might look but i will NOT cheat on them if i want to end the relationship ill end it there is absolutely no reason to cheat on someone, that is what people do when they are to afraid to actually man up and do what they need to do.



It just worries me, i consider myself an honorable man, someone who has alot of love to give but due to my chosen profession that i personally LOVE to do i seem to be getting alot of people closing matches on me. I mean yea im no tom cruise or george clooney in looks either but i dont think im an OGRE or anything so i dont think thats the issue.



Cops have a horrible reputation it seems. I guess im the minority though i could tell you of at least 10 guys off the top of my head at the station i work at who are indeed cheating on their wives or who drink to much. =/ Starting to wish i did not have to put my profession on my information page and that is just something i could reveal to my possible matches later =(
 
 
jamisco is offline jamisco Post #2  April 14,2008, 11:42pm
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Let's look at why cops get bad reputations. I am a 911 Dispatcher/Dispatcher for the Sheriff's dept here/went to school for CJ, so I think I have plenty of insight on the subject.

1. Police officers drinkalot.

I am surrounded by policeofficers who can drink most under the table and then some. While they may not drink ALL the time, I have yet to meet an officer who doesnot drink a lot, and even worse, drink and drive (ok, maybe I've met one or two). A lot of the cases I've seen, this is the primary way officers deal with pain.

2. I've not encountered this one too much, I'll refrain from commenting

3. Police officers always end up cheating on their wives.

Again, another trait that runs rampant in the CJ field. I know far too many officers who have beautiful wives waiting for them at home, while they are out trolling for a fresh piece of meat.

Let's face it, you chose a profession that does not have a good reputation. Not only the things you've mentioned but the divorce rate for those in the field is far higher than that of civillians (Averaging about 75%). You have no choice but to prove yourself. I hope there are not too many women out there who have seen 'behind the scenes' such as I have, and will be more willing to get to know you. No matter what, don't steer from your, as you put it, honorable ways. You will find someone, in time.
 
 
DianaInHouston is offline DianaInHouston Post #3  April 15,2008, 2:45am
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htowncop, wrote :

Im a police officer, a proud one at that. Cops get a seriously bad reputation these days and rightfully so. Lets face it with the badge comes a TON of authority i make decisions daily that can alter the course of someones entire life for better or for worse. With a simple judgement call on my behalf you can go away for years or be turned loose to do as you will.



I have been cruising the internet trying to get women's viewpoints on police officers and if they make viable "dates". From what i have seen to my great dissappointment is that most women seem to think its an incredibly BAD thing. The following is what i have seen the most of...



1.Police officers drink alot.

2.Police officers beat their wives.

3.Police officers always end up cheating on their wives.



Me personally, i do not drink.. i never have and never want to i have seen what that crap does to people and i do not want it to happen to me.. Police officers beat their wives? I feel incredibly guilty when i have to place a woman in a pair of handcuffs let alone if i have to use any sort of force on them. I would never.. EVER beat my wife under any circumstances shape or form raise my fist against the woman i love. I just couldn't do it. Police officers end up cheating on their wives? I have had several "serious" relationships in my life i have never cheated on any of them, i have LOOKED at other women sure i AM a guy after all im GOING to notice attractive females anyone who says they dont notice attractive people of the opposite sex are lying. But if im in a relationship with someone i am IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEONE.. i might look but i will NOT cheat on them if i want to end the relationship ill end it there is absolutely no reason to cheat on someone, that is what people do when they are to afraid to actually man up and do what they need to do.



It just worries me, i consider myself an honorable man, someone who has alot of love to give but due to my chosen profession that i personally LOVE to do i seem to be getting alot of people closing matches on me. I mean yea im no tom cruise or george clooney in looks either but i dont think im an OGRE or anything so i dont think thats the issue.



Cops have a horrible reputation it seems. I guess im the minority though i could tell you of at least 10 guys off the top of my head at the station i work at who are indeed cheating on their wives or who drink to much. =/ Starting to wish i did not have to put my profession on my information page and that is just something i could reveal to my possible matches later =(


I was married to an officer for20+ years and have known tons of other officers, so I feel I can give my opinion here.

1. Some do, but not all. My ex-husband barely drank, in fact three beers made him tipsy. He is drinking a little more now that he is dating but nothing that could be considered "alot." I do know many who drink heavily and daily. I think you have probably heard of one SO detective who was recently killed - his blood level indicates that he was drunk. He was not a heavy drinker and I (along with many others) think something is wrong with those results. The public, however, believes it because hewas a cop.

2. I was never beat. Ever. He never raised a hand to me. I have never known anybody who has revealed that his/her spouse was physically abusive. Well.... actully, I do know a pair of marriedofficers who have been known to fight but I seriously think that it is a personality conflict not a job thing.

3. This has happened to me (and is part of why I am now single). I have know many MANY officers who have cheated. On the other hand I know many MANY officers who would never cheat! I would say the ratio may be slightly higher than with average citizens.

In hind sight, if I were to meet someone whowas as new to law enforcement as you are, I would not date him. Not because of all of the reasons you stated but because of the stress of learning the ropes amdlearning how my power you have. In my case (we married very young), when he became an officer (GPD, by the way) his whole personality changed. He became cocky and arrogant. Eventually that calmed some with experience but the first years were very hard. There were times when I think he really did believe that he was "above the law" - not that he broke the law, but his attitude indicated that he felt he could, and get away with it.

However, there are a ton of badge bunnies out there. I would think you would not have too much problem getting dates. I am just not sure those would be the kind you would want.

Either way, good luck! Keep your head on straight!
 
 
lady25 is offline lady25 Post #4  April 15,2008, 3:39am
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When I read the title of this post, I was going to comment that being a police officer should not hurt your chances at all. I have many police officers in my family and I have great respect for the profession. I do not believe they all drink and beat their wives.

However, after reading this post and your other post about asking the tanning salon woman out...I think you come across as very arrogant and that might be your problem. I would date a police officer, but not one that thought he was something special for being one. It is a job...yes it is a job that helps people...but firefighters, doctors, nurses, and teachers all help people, too. Your job isn't more important than anyone else's and I think you may be the one making it a big deal, not the women you are interested in.
 
 
DianaInHouston is offline DianaInHouston Post #5  April 15,2008, 5:18am
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lady25,83273 wrote :

When I read the title of this post, I was going to comment that being a police officer should not hurt your chances at all. I have many police officers in my family and I have great respect for the profession. I do not believe they all drink and beat their wives.

However, after reading this post and your other post about asking the tanning salon woman out...I think you come across as very arrogant and that might be your problem. I would date a police officer, but not one that thought he was something special for being one. It is a job...yes it is a job that helps people...but firefighters, doctors, nurses, and teachers all help people, too. Your job isn't more important than anyone else's and I think you may be the one making it a big deal, not the women you are interested in.
htowncop, lady25 has a point. You might want to critique your profile and make sure that you are not coming off as arrogant.
 
 
lada is offline lada Post #6  April 15,2008, 8:11am

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you can play out your concerns about the stereotype, and demonstrate, as much as possible how you differ. This may dissuade those who flock to uniform stereotypes. Which will decrease the quantity of responses you receive, but might increase the quality.

It really is hard to be seen as the YOU that is distinct from the JOB. Especially when the JOB keeps consuming a large part of your life. You just have to focus on nurturing everything about YOU that is separate from that. Trust me, I know. And good luck.

kicks the blue light disco handcuff fantasy firmly back into the closet.
 
 
htowncop is offline htowncop Post #7  April 15,2008, 9:19am
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i appreciate the honesty about the arrogant part, your probably right its almost something that is required in the job otherwise people tend to walk all over you when your trying to handle a scene. I really do NOT think of myself as arrogant but its something thats very hard to turn off. For years during training they grind it into you that you NEED to take control and be the dominant one.



I have redone my profile though after looking at it again i can see where it was showing through that i might of been a little to arrogant.



I think i might come off a little self righteous sometimes as well about my job its hard not to sometimes I think ive done more good in the only two years i have been doing this job then most everyone else does in an entire life time. But i can see your point i need to tone it down some or alot =(
 
 
themeindzeye is offline themeindzeye Post #8  April 15,2008, 9:27am

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Wow. I've never heard those particular prejudices in regard to police officers. I was just going to say that, personally, I find police officers in general intimidating. The ones I have met are very blunt, to-the-point, and forceful and I don't ever get the impression that they'd be willing to see things my way. However, I didn't get to know them very well, and I understand that it takes a certain personality type to -be- a police officer, and that it's not a personality type that I think would go well with mine.

Having said that, I would just say to look at it this way: if somebody is going to make assumptions about you based on your profession, do you really want to get to know that person? If they're going to jump to the conclusion automatically that you do a-b-c thing, is that who you want? Sure, it's going to reduce the amount of people that are interested in you, but you know what? Everybody has something like that about them. I am a heavier gal, and I am on a regular basis described as "weird." There go a lot of options for me. But if they're gonna avoid me because of that, oh, well. They probably weren't any fun anyway. :P
 
 
lada is offline lada Post #9  April 15,2008, 9:46am

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themindzeye: are those the first things people notice when they read you profile? Heavily weird??

I'm pretty upfront about weight...but I draw the little victims in a bit before I lay out exactly how weird I am. If, in fact, they have not already run screaming "other".
 
 
themeindzeye is offline themeindzeye Post #10  April 15,2008, 10:14am

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lada,83342 wrote :

themindzeye: are those the first things people notice when they read you profile? Heavily weird??

I'm pretty upfront about weight...but I draw the little victims in a bit before I lay out exactly how weird I am. If, in fact, they have not already run screaming "other".
*lmaorotf* "Heavily weird" - I love it! ^_^ Actually, I do think this is what they think right at the start! :P I actually found a guy (seeing him two months now) who read my profile, saw my pics, and decided to contact me anyway. It's nice to have somebody actually laugh and appreciate my jokes for once.

Personally, I'd rather be upfront with people and let them run away right from the get-go. I used to try to tone it down with people at the beginning, but once they started getting to know the 'real me' they were getting really weird and stand-off-ish and I found I couldn't even -be- myself around them. And what's the fun in a friend who doesn't even know you? *shrug* That's how I see it, anyway. It just makes me appreciate those who -do- appreciate me for who I am that much more. ^_^
 
 
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