Ladies please help me understand flirting.


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zenmerlin is offline zenmerlin Post #1  March 16,2009, 5:04am
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I was thinking about this lately and I think that I am clueless about the whole subject. What is the purpose of flirting? How can I tell when a woman is flirting with me or just talking to me? Ok pretend that you are flirting with a guy and he just talks to you like nothing is happening (that would be my response because I just don’t pick up on it) can you tell that I am clueless, would you continue to flirt with me, or would you assume that I was not interested? If a man flirts with you do you find that attractive? If a man flirts with you and you are in a relationship how do you respond? Sorry about all the questions but I really am confused about the whole subject. When and where is it appropriate to flirt?
 
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littlejeannieej is offline littlejeannieej Post #2  March 16,2009, 5:18am
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I flirt. A LOT. It really helps in my line of work sometimes. But in a social setting, when I am flirting, as opposed to just talking to a man, I make more eye contact....I smile a lot...I laugh more. Sometimes I even step it up a notch and touch his arm when he says something funny, or brush my shoulder against his.


I don't mind a man flirting with me, as long as I am attracted to him. If he flirts and I'm not interested, I go out of my way NOT to flirt, and usually find an excuse to walk away...


I think flirting is appropriate pretty much anywhere. Except maybe church. Lol. I don't know.
 
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missy2u2002 is offline missy2u2002 Post #3  March 16,2009, 7:24am
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littlejeannieej,533050 wrote :

I flirt. A LOT. It really helps in my line of work sometimes. But in a social setting, when I am flirting, as opposed to just talking to a man, I make more eye contact....I smile a lot...I laugh more. Sometimes I even step it up a notch and touch his arm when he says something funny, or brush my shoulder against his.


I don't mind a man flirting with me, as long as I am attracted to him. If he flirts and I'm not interested, I go out of my way NOT to flirt, and usually find an excuse to walk away...


I think flirting is appropriate pretty much anywhere. Except maybe church. Lol. I don't know.
yup +1 I agree totally!
 
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Ingytravel is offline Ingytravel Post #4  March 16,2009, 7:35am
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+ 2...although people do flirt during the activities, like sportsand thingsat church


Flirting is one of the many fun things in life when dating someone....Even at 40, I have been known to do the whole Elaine thing on Seinfeld with the "shove"..hahaha...ok...not that hard...but a gentle touch on the arm while laughing...a lot to do with looking into the eyes....I"m not a hair twirler..lol...but being the extrovert I am, I think I am fairly obvious to the man that I am interested...


But agree it is tricky when just meeting someone and trying to maybe let the female take the lead and watching for signs...maybe research some articles on this...again...everyone is different..but I do think there are some tell-tale signs that women give when flirting...and yes..I would have to say that if I didn't get anything back..not a brief touch on the arm, look, or type of laugh back...I would think that you weren't interested in me...
 
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zenmerlin is offline zenmerlin Post #5  March 16,2009, 8:01am
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Ok this is a good start! I can flirt anywhere but not at church, and probably not at a funeral. If you are smiling, laughing, or casually touch me that is a good sign. If you touch me that would really get my attention that is a clear sign to me. Should I pay attention to the words that you are using or pay attention to your mannerisms?
Let’s do the grocery store scenario, what would be a good way to start the flirting session?
Thank you this is very helpful.
 
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janissary is offline janissary Post #6  March 16,2009, 8:04am
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Just think of flirting as a form of affection, a feel-good stimulus.


A free and non-prescription happy pill, with no adverse effects when properly administered.





You can flirt with anyone, anywhere as long as the intentions are good.
 
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Ingytravel is offline Ingytravel Post #7  March 16,2009, 8:07am
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Well...like I said...my church has about 10,000 members and lots in their 20's and 30's so flirting happens...but funeral..yes..off limits!!! LOL


I think mannerisms are much more of a signal to watch then words with flirting...I mean..of course you want to hang on every word she is saying, and respond with something witty and insightful..no pressure...HAHAHA....


But I could say the word, "toothpaste" and be boring...or use the word, licking my lips, raising my eyebrows...and I am flirting...HAHAHA!!!!
 
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zenmerlin is offline zenmerlin Post #8  March 16,2009, 8:30am
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Ok happy pill, yes I like that idea. Good intentions I understand that, great!
Witty and insightful….no pressure there think man think don’t go blank now!!!
She say’s “toothpaste” not flirting….. got it
She say’s “toothpaste” while licking her lips, and raising eyebrows………she kind of likes me.
I’m starting to understand.
If I complement you and say, “Your hair looks really nice.” Or ,”You have a wonderful smile.” Is this a good way to start flirting or do I need something really cleaver to say?
 
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onidaltd is offline onidaltd Post #9  March 16,2009, 8:33am
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Merlin,


You are responsible for pulling off this trick, also, and not knowing about sleight-of-eye could be your downfall. Typically when interested in a person we glance at their eyes more aggressively, Might I suggest you never look away, don't even blink, flirters are not intimadated by this and actually enjoy knowing that their mojo is working. Uncomfortableness is a sign of not flirting, o.k. blink now. (is that a pimple?)


I submitted this comment in another thread but I think it's important for the guy to know his part (he can play also, with a minimal investment) so,


Level one flirting:





you make the first move as a transcendental function. Look your best, look at her, smile a lot, don't look away when she stares you down, smile again. If you are looking maniacal, fake, stiff or phony be aware that you might get arrested or beat-up and if she is not a polynomial, she might not compute your intention, be prepared to look somewhere else but if she smiles back you can at least think to yourself "I looked at you first'. Don't wait for her to buy you a drink.
 
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ltc89 is offline ltc89 Post #10  March 16,2009, 12:29pm
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I'm pretty reluctant to respond to flirting, asI can never tell ifit's simply a case of thewoman being friendly or conversational. I always figure if I respond to it as flirting, she'll walk away thinking, "Geez, can't a girl just be friendly without some idiot taking it the wrong way?" We so oftenhear about how tiredwomen are of being hit on, and I really don't want to be just another one of "those guys."
 
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