Men-need your advice (women to)-newly dating someone


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littlejeannieej is offline littlejeannieej Post #11  March 11,2009, 12:00pm
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I can tell you from my own personal experience. I started seeing a guy...met through mutual friends. He came on really strong like that....said all of the same things...and the second I "fell" for it, and started to reciprocate, he backed way off, and said I was moving too fast. Lol. I'm not sure if it's just the thrill of the chase...but in my situation, we started off too fast, the relationship only lasted about a month, and now we're very close friends.





I'd just be careful. I don't think it's realistically possible to feel that much that soon. Maybe you could just tell him that you like him, and are looking forward to getting to know him better, but you want to take it slowly, and make sure you're both on the same page.
 
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glassonlyhalffull_fillit is offline glassonlyhalffull_fillit Post #12  March 11,2009, 12:13pm
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I can tell you from my own personal experience. I started seeing a guy...met through mutual friends. He came on really strong like that....said all of the same things...and the second I "fell" for it, and started to reciprocate, he backed way off, and said I was moving too fast. Lol. I'm not sure if it's just the thrill of the chase...but in my situation, we started off too fast, the relationship only lasted about a month, and now we're very close friends.





I'd just be careful. I don't think it's realistically possible to feel that much that soon. Maybe you could just tell him that you like him, and are looking forward to getting to know him better, but you want to take it slowly, and make sure you're both on the same page.
haha I sure can relate to this and it's so common!
 
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tbesq is offline tbesq Post #13  March 11,2009, 1:54pm
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Yes, his fiancee burned him, but that was almost two years ago. It appears as if he hasn't dated much since then, so his delivery may not be as "smooth" as some women may be comfortable with. There may also be a legitimate concern that he might lose a woman he really likes, based on his past experience, but until you find this out for sure I'd say give it a chance. I mean, there are much worse guys out there you could be dating, right? I think he feels comfortable enough to tell you how he feels because it seems you've had plenty of phone communication outside of your actual date. Plus, the first date went for 8 hours -- ALWAYSa good sign to any reasonable guy.


Give it time. Good luck.


 
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cincyfan04 is offline cincyfan04 Post #14  March 11,2009, 2:07pm
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I wouldn't read into it too much, unless you feel smothered. I would be more concerned if he was sending things to your office or dropping in unexpectedly. Don't fault a guy for giving you attention. God forbid a guy actually give someone he likes a signal instead of playing games! He might be out of practice and just isn't good at playing it slow. He's being honest, why fault him?


That being said, if he starts crossing the line (i.e. invading every area of you life), maybe he is too much. But otherwise, it looks like he's got what most people are looking for on here. How many times do we hear the opposite? Everything went well and all of a sudden he's no where to be found?
 
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r10renault is offline r10renault Post #15  March 11,2009, 2:41pm
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Just feel it. Get away from the dinner and 'just us two' and get into life, his and yours. See him with his friends and his passions and compare how he is with how what he says. The controlled environment is a bubble that can burst. Introduce him to your nosey, pushy friend, how is that woirking out? How he acts in the real world will be the must read chapter of the behind the scene's story.
 
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1passionatefem is offline 1passionatefem Post #16  March 13,2009, 4:09am
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Thank you all for the great advice. Yes, I have boundaries in my life-he is just different then most men in being able to express himself-upfront-which is actually refreshing. We have gone out twice this week and he is consistent in what he says and does. His favorite line is "let me know whenever you want to spend time with me-I will be there". He has given me the "lead" per se in guaging things-which is perfect. He calls all the time and I do call him (which is really different for me-because I have always followed the advice of letting men come to me).


I really like the comment above-tonight we are "cooking dinner" at his house with his closiest friend and his wife. I want to see him in his own environment and how he acts in his world.



Take care and have a great weekend.


 
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