premature "terms of endearment" - don't call me "baby" on the first day we meet!


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HopefullLeigh is offline HopefullLeigh Post #1  March 9,2009, 4:11pm
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I met a really nice guy over the weekend, we had great conversation, laughed, etc. He asked me out, I said yes, we discussed plans. Later that afternoon (we are at a barbeque), he called me "babe" and "baby" a couple of times. I found it really offputting!!!!!!!!! Finally when I couldn't take it anymore I pulled him aside and told him it made me uncomfortable and he apologized and stopped but seemed a little annoyed.


Now I'm not sure if I even want to go out with him.


My friend said I was being uptight, but I don't know....it just seemed overly familiar, or presumptious, or disrespectful.


Am I overreacting?


What would make a guy think he could get that familiar so fast?!
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #2  March 9,2009, 4:16pm
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Hi ya, Sugar, great post.
 
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Mr_Right is offline Mr_Right Post #3  March 9,2009, 4:17pm
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HopefullLeigh, wrote :

I met a really nice guy over the weekend, we had great conversation, laughed, etc. He asked me out, I said yes, we discussed plans. Later that afternoon (we are at a barbeque), he called me "babe" and "baby" a couple of times. I found it really offputting!!!!!!!!! Finally when I couldn't take it anymore I pulled him aside and told him it made me uncomfortable and he apologized and stopped but seemed a little annoyed.


Now I'm not sure if I even want to go out with him.


My friend said I was being uptight, but I don't know....it just seemed overly familiar, or presumptious, or disrespectful.


Am I overreacting?


What would make a guy think he could get that familiar so fast?!
Baby, you might be overreacting just a little bit. Though it depends on how he takes it. If you had said that to me, I would have been like, "I'm sorry, dear, it won't happen again."


And then I'd apologize and keep a straight face, and not call you either one the rest of the night.


So if he was cool with what you said, then don't hold it against him.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #4  March 9,2009, 4:18pm
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HopefullLeigh, wrote :

What would make a guy think he could get that familiar so fast?!
He doesn’t know how to be a guy. May be no hope … but, you could try: “would you please address me by my name?”
 
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bigfincat is offline bigfincat Post #5  March 9,2009, 4:21pm
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I think that your reaction is understandable. It would be offputting. Whether it is a deal breaker is up to you but I would not knock you if you decide that it is.
 
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Mr_Right is offline Mr_Right Post #6  March 9,2009, 4:24pm
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I'd have to add that if it was excessive and annoying, then your reaction is definitely right on.


It depends on if he was teasing, and how much, and if it was excessive or not.


You'd have to share more details, babe, if you want the rest of us to give accurate advice.
 
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HopefullLeigh is offline HopefullLeigh Post #7  March 9,2009, 4:29pm
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You guys are too funny!!!!!!!!!



It was kind of excessive. he said it a bunch of times in like, a half your long conversation. It just made me feel....gross. Like he was already trying to get into my pants or something!





I should add that I love terms of endearment when they are delivered by someone who is actually endeared to me.
 
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lizard47 is offline lizard47 Post #8  March 9,2009, 4:30pm
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Well dear, I think you might be over-reacting. Some of us just happen to use terms like that all the time with people hon. I am not sure how you exactly broach the subject with him but it may have been the way you handled the situation that annoyed him. I only say that because the way you stated it sounds like you came down pretty hard on him. If you did handle it in an extremely polite manner than I do apologize.
 
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bigfincat is offline bigfincat Post #9  March 9,2009, 4:34pm
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You guys do realize that they had not been on any dates at that point.
 
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cincyfan04 is offline cincyfan04 Post #10  March 9,2009, 4:35pm
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The best way, in my opinion, to handle a situation like that is find an equally annoying name to call him every time he calls you babe or baby. And say it with heavy sarcasm so he picks up that you're annoyed with the name. I had a co-worker that though it was endearing to call all the guys "honey" whenever she addressed them, so I responded with "Sure thing darlin" in a thick accent and everyone got a good laugh and she got the message. It wasn't awkward or offputting, but the problem was solved. I think most mildly uncomfortable conversations can be cured with a little humor instead of being so direct all the time. People respond better because it doesn't feel like they are being called out or disciplined.
 
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