When You’re the Heartbreaker

When You're the Heartbreaker

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When You're the Heartbreaker


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Mickey275 is offline Mickey275 Post #31  December 18,2009, 11:19am
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It's simple: just be honest with the other person and treat them exactly how you would like to be treated if the shoe was on the other foot. If you don't have the maturity to do that, you should NOT be dating in the first place.
 
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Mickey275 is offline Mickey275 Post #32  December 18,2009, 11:21am
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Mtraveler, are you sure he was pushing too hard, too fast, or were you giving out "buying signals" that he interpreted as saying "green light?" Did you somehow invite his advances, knowingly or unknowlingly?
 
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rare_flower is offline rare_flower Post #33  October 14,2010, 1:19pm
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At the beginning of this year I started dating this guy I met in a social group. It all happened suddenly and I wasn't sure how I really felt about him, although he was really into me. I spoke to him frankly about this, but I agreed to give it a try and take it slowly; we barely knew each other but whenever we met on a social he was always very nice.
However after a few dates I realized it wasn't working for me: he was always lovey-dovey and kissing etc., but I felt uncomfortable with this as I could not reciprocate - my feelings were not the same. The other thing was that I found him quite bland - different things work for different people in relationships. With me there has to be some chemistry and spark. A month in I told him how I felt and thought it was better that we just remained friends. I didn't think it was fair on either of us to perpetuate a 'relationship' where I did not feel the same way he did and could not give him affection. I was surprised how badly he took it, considering it was only a month and we barely knew each other (how attached can you get in that time?) and we had that conversation about taking it slowly. I offered to talk more about it with him but he didn't want to know and has been avoiding meeting me on socials ever since.
10 months on and he's started to get nasty. I wouldn't care, but unfortunately we have friends in common and live in the same small city. After seeing his nasty side, I have given up all hope of reconciliation and now want nothing to do with him. But friends tell me I should talk with him, main reason being that social meetings are incredibly awkward. I understand this, but I don't see why I should reward his recent behavior and since we hardly knew each other anyway, what is there to save? The worst is that because everybody thinks he's a great guy nobody can see how he's behaving, especially since I'm the one who dumped him.
Any advice? Would you try to reconcile?
Last edited by rare_flower; October 14,2010 at 1:25pm.
 
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RoxasHughes is offline RoxasHughes Post #34  November 24,2010, 11:55am
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try talking to someone for a week, have an online date (since you live far away) and him decide in on night that he wants to marry you and everything... then turn around and keep telling you you're going to leave him every 10 minutes! I couldn't take it...
 
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