When You’re the Heartbreaker

When You're the Heartbreaker

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When You're the Heartbreaker


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windingroad is offline windingroad Post #21  December 29,2007, 1:00am
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If this guy is going to seminary and wants to have sex, he is definitely not the most stable thinker in the world. God's word specifically tells us not to be fornicators. Not all men want sex before marraige. I think it is the most damaging thing you can do in a relationship. I have been on eHarmony for almost 3 years. I believe the reason I have been on this so long is because most potential mates think that sex is just a natural progression for dating. I now know from plenty of heartache and lost time that that is not the truth. The truth is that you should talk about sex and understand each others sexuality, but leave it to marraige and trust God that He will honor your relationship with a wonderul sex life during marraige.
 
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Thea222 is offline Thea222 Post #22  December 30,2007, 8:37pm
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This is wonderful advice. I had my heartbroken and he did it by email. I always felt it was cowardly- and would have had a lot more respect for him if he did it in person. I eventually healed, and don't regret my deep loving feelings for him- and am glad he did break us up- because now I have met someone I have even deeper feeling for-. I just wish he would have looked me in the eye and told me. Again, great advice, do it in person, kindly and directly.
 
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mytwocents is offline mytwocents Post #23  January 2,2008, 1:54am
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Great article! It's one of the more helpful ones I've read with practical application included. Like the song says, "Breaking up is hard to do." I personally, with limited experience in either camp, think it's even harder to receive. Hey "Doc": You said, "I believe the hardest part is being the heartbreaker. I have always been the one to initiate a break up." Before you stick to your belief, try being on the receiver of the heart break. No doubt it's not easy to be the heartbreaker. But I can't imagine it's any harder, the heart breaker has the control. To "If": do you have to be nice even if he is not nice? Just try to keep living by the adage of "treat other people the way you want to be treated" (not how they treat you). In the end, the only person you have to answer for is yourself. He will have to answer for himself.
 
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MW77009 is offline MW77009 Post #24  January 2,2008, 11:43am
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I agree. The golden rule is paramount. This is sound advise.
 
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m.a.gardener is offline m.a.gardener Post #25  January 3,2008, 11:20pm
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IF - you have it right: "there are worse things than being single". I'm using online dating because I want to find someone COMPATIBLE, not just someone. Not just anyone. If they can't take the time to listen and comprimise during the intial stages, then they never will. Good for you for standing up for yourself!
 
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Sharron620 is offline Sharron620 Post #26  January 4,2008, 7:10am
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I just want to say that this is a good article , and I wish I would have came across it before I broke up with my ex-boyfriend. I told him that we could remain friends due to his behavior, and he pretend to accept that we werent going to be together but we also couldn't be friends either. Months later he came to my home, and committed a crime. So when you break up with some one the decision may be hard but be as honest and upfront as possible in a way that would keep you safe from harm. Someone people do not know how to deal with reject, which can cause problems that leads to other serious issues.
 
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haruo is offline haruo Post #27  January 17,2008, 5:42pm
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Hi Sharon:

Breaking up with ex-boyfriends, you are better off departing and not being friends. At least he will try to search for someone else. Unfortunately for you, your exboyfriend was not able to deal with the situation. There are so many single men and women in this world, there is a match for all of us. Adults should be mature about it and just split and go on with their individual lives. Less stress and more fun.

from Haruo
 
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haruo is offline haruo Post #28  January 17,2008, 5:46pm
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Hi Denah:

Trust me, he isnt' worth getting stressed over. Find someone more compatible. There are so many single men in your city that are compatible. Keep searching.

from Haruo
 
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mtraveler is offline mtraveler Post #29  June 2,2008, 6:16am
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Any suggestions for how to break it off after the first date and you've agreed to a second? I agreed to a second date before the first date ended. Things were going great, then he wanted to engage in a makeout session...a little fast for a first date (I think). I now don't have such a good feeling about him, and want to tell him I have changed my mind about a second date. There are some areas where we don't necessarily agree, such as politics and religious background, which I value as important. I thought about using those as reasons. I just don't want to be mean, he was a nice guy, but made me really uncomfortable at the end of the date.
 
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PfeiferKP is offline PfeiferKP Post #30  May 18,2009, 1:23pm
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I am in a dating relationship where the expectations are building, but my partner cannot tell me where she thinks the relationship might be heading.  We have been dating for about a year, and I want to know.  She got mad when I asked; she just wants to maintain the status quo.  We started our relationship agreeing to just date for a while.  But, it is now getting comfortable.  I think we are taking each other for granted.  I have to be honest: I really like spending time with her, but there have been a few flags and I do not feel like this is heading anywhere for me long term.  It is causing me to think about dating someone else.  But I do not feel good about doing this behind her back.  I am thinking I need to break it off, but I am scared by how she might react.  Any suggestions?
 
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