You've made some pretty huge generalizations here. First, you assume that because a guy is better looking than you that he treats others poorly. Second, you assume that women like/will accept being treated poorly by a good looking man. Third, you assume that all women want to date men that are good looking and that's it.

How do you know that your matches were closing you out based on your appearance and photos alone? I don't remember this being an option for closing matches on eHarmony, but maybe it is on other sites that I don't use. However, if you are basing this merely on your eHarmony experience, could it be something else as well? Maybe some women were closing you out based on appearance, because there are women like that, but maybe some truly didn't feel that there was a connection there. Maybe they didn't feel you had anything in common. Maybe they didn't like something you said in your profile. Maybe it was a flexible match that was a little too flexible. There are a lot of "maybes" I could list here, but I think you can see where I'm coming from. It's not always about looks. As for the women approaching you at the gym, it could be because of your looks, but it could also be because of the fact that they've seen you around and feel more comfortable approaching someone who is vaguely familiar in some way to them, and knowing that you have something in common is a point in their favor.

Just because you have changed something about yourself doesn't mean it's the reason people have or haven't closed you, AND it's only your experience that you are speaking about. You aren't even talking about the same women and what their reaction is to you now. Quite frankly, I'd take a man with a quiet confidence, intelligence, a positive outlook on life, and who maybe is not so good looking but who truly is a nice guy, over a guy who is very good looking and has none of those other qualities any day. You see, looks don't last, and you had better have something to back yourself up when those looks fade or you're sunk. However, those other qualities, they stand the test of time, and in the long run, they actually mean something.

So, in actuality, no, I wouldn't rather date a hunky jerk, and when I look at my married friends, they didn't marry men like this, either. In fact, when I look at the men who can't maintain a relationship in my town, they tend to be the hunky jerks. What does that tell you about them? It tells me that while some women might find them to be fun for awhile, in the end, they aren't long-term or marriage material.