Advice and Support from Thousands of Users Just Like You

Dating First-date jitters? Hoping for a second date? Moving on to a full blown relationship? Share your journey and advice here.

Reply
Page 4 of 5 « First 2 3 4 5
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
legend29 legend29 is offline
legend29's Avatar

legend29 is looking for a loophole....

Virtuoso

Join Date: Aug 2008

Posts: 2,571

See profile

littlejeannieej wrote :

legend29 wrote :


littlejeannieej wrote :


legend29 wrote :


Steve_Cam wrote :


On the 'truth comes out while drunk' idea, Thats just BS. Sure alcohol helps with making the lips loose, but it is hardly truth serem. It helps in telling lies to get things done just as much as it helps in letting the truth flow. I would say that more often than not it lets people exagerate the truth than it does open the window to the heart.


Sitting down and talking to the guy and letting him know you are at a turning point and need to make a decision is what I would do if i were in your situation. Let him know what you need, what you expect, and what your looking for. If he isnt willing to commit that, then you need to take some inventory and decide what you want and if the booty call is worth the sacrifice. I think you already know the answer to that.


-Steve Cam


I fully agree with your post!


(I know you didn't mean for it to be funny, but I'm still snickering about the reference to "truth serum"....thanx to youI had to cleanoff my keyboard after spewing my mint green tea all over it! )


But... I digress all (with full apologies to the OP)...Please PROCEED!


Yes, the whole alcohol = truth serum, or "In Vino Veritas" debate could be a separate topic in and of itself...however, as poetic and romantic a notion it may be...there is no scientific evidence that it does, in fact, bring out the truth. I think, if anything, it lowers inhibitions, and magnifies whatever a person is feeling at the moment. It makes people "not themselves", so I agree that the "truth comes out while drunk" idea is BS.





Thanks for all of your comments!! I've enjoyed each and every one so far!!


I apologize again ifI in any way seemed to make light of your situation. I mean, you took the time to write a really well-written post, so I know you are truly seeking advice. SometimesI can be a real knucklehead whenI don't have anything earth-shattering to say..!


BTW: SinceI didn't have anything constructive to add to the thread, I would strongly suggest taking Linda and Tyym's advice (as well as other posters to this thread)


(*slinking back to my corner to take my "anti-knucklehead, don't be an idiot, act like a normal person," meds...need to turn off my 'twisted-sense-of-humor neurons.....argh*!!!!!!!!)





Oh, no! Please don't apologize! I've enjoyed all of the comments...I love the humor! I have a rather twisted sense of humor myself! I didn't think you were making light...and I appreciate your nice comment =) I do think I know what I need to do....although I welcome as many more responses as I can get, just to see what the majority says.




Thanx LilJean.....
- February 21st, 2009, 07:14 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#31   Reply With Quote
luvablefrog luvablefrog is offline
luvablefrog's Avatar

luvablefrog Is getting discouraged-where have all the princes gone?

Enthusiast

Join Date: Mar 2008

Posts: 908

See profile



This is just my thoughts on this. I do think he sees you as the "ol' reliable", if you will. Attractive, dependable, and yep reliable on the "booty call" as well. I know you want to hear him say "I love you, want you, etc." But tell the truth- do you REALLY believe the whole drunken " i luuuuvs you, baby" thing? Do you even want to be with someone who sounds for all the world like an alcoholic-in-the-making? I think you know, deep inside that what you are hoping for proably isn't going to happen, the same as most of us know the answers to the standard posts that keep popping up here. We just hope, deep in our hearts, that THIS time will be different, that OUR case will be that "one in a million" that breaks the tedium. And it COULD be- but in this case my dear, I really doubt it. My advice would be to walk away, to find someone that values you all the time- not juist when he's drunk at midnight. Good luck!
- February 21st, 2009, 07:44 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#32   Reply With Quote
Icouldwriteabook Icouldwriteabook is offline
Icouldwriteabook's Avatar

Enthusiast

Join Date: Jan 2009

Posts: 533

See profile



Okay, what kind of "relationship" do you have now? What if you both profess your love to each other? Will it change anything? Would he instantly start taking you to the movies and out to dinner? He should be wanting to do that anyway, if he is remotely interested in you for something other than sex.


You go to his house for late night booty calls. He has what he wants. Has he ever taken you on a real date? Have you ever spent time together and NOT had sex? And I mean outside of the house he lives in with his buddies.


Maybe you are also happy with the booty calls? Even regardless of whether he loves you or you love him, I would want more out of a relationship. Actually, you don't even really have a relationship at all, let along love, in my eye anyway. I don't mean to sound harsh but it seems like 90% of what you have IS just sex. Yes, it sounds like you have talked some (mostly after sex, see the theme?), but does he ever call you to talk otherwise during the day, etc. Again, have you ever been ona real date?


Maybe you need to also evaluate if you really love him as well.
- February 22nd, 2009, 09:32 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#33   Reply With Quote
lil_lamb lil_lamb is offline
lil_lamb's Avatar

Veteran

Join Date: Dec 2008

Posts: 1,024

See profile



oh, well, he may very well love you. it's just that it may not be worth a hill of beans. love is just a feeling. it may inspire some to enter a partnership; many times it does not.





anyways, you know, "never date a musician."
- February 22nd, 2009, 10:00 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#34   Reply With Quote
peg099 peg099 is offline
peg099's Avatar

peg099 wishes she could sleep

Sage

Join Date: Sep 2008

Posts: 10,946

See profile



lil_lamb wrote :


oh, well, he may very well love you. it's just that it may not be worth a hill of beans. love is just a feeling. it may inspire some to enter a partnership; many times it does not.





anyways, you know, "never date a musician."


Actually, love is more than a feeling. It's a verb. "To love". To feel love isn't the same thing as loving someone (not how it's a verb in that sentence) - though ideally feelings of love overlap with loving. It's the way that a person treats you in the little every day things that really defines whether they love you.


But yeah, if all you have is the feeling, without the action, that part alone isn't worth a hill of beans.
- February 22nd, 2009, 10:38 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#35   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

lil_lamb lil_lamb is offline
lil_lamb's Avatar

Veteran

Join Date: Dec 2008

Posts: 1,024

See profile

peg099 wrote :

Actually, love is more than a feeling. It's a verb. "To love". To feel love isn't the same thing as loving someone (not how it's a verb in that sentence) - though ideally feelings of love overlap with loving. It's the way that a person treats you in the little every day things that really defines whether they love you.


But yeah, if all you have is the feeling, without the action, that part alone isn't worth a hill of beans.
it is, but i've given up on talking about it that way. i think when people say they love you, virtually all of the time they're talking about how they feel. and it's a feeling that means they'd like to stand within your two-feet of personal space, not that they want to take on a mortgage with you.
- February 22nd, 2009, 06:42 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#36   Reply With Quote
peg099 peg099 is offline
peg099's Avatar

peg099 wishes she could sleep

Sage

Join Date: Sep 2008

Posts: 10,946

See profile



lil_lamb wrote :


peg099 wrote :


Actually, love is more than a feeling. It's a verb. "To love". To feel love isn't the same thing as loving someone (not how it's a verb in that sentence) - though ideally feelings of love overlap with loving. It's the way that a person treats you in the little every day things that really defines whether they love you.


But yeah, if all you have is the feeling, without the action, that part alone isn't worth a hill of beans.


it is, but i've given up on talking about it that way. i think when people say they love you, virtually all of the time they're talking about how they feel. and it's a feeling that means they'd like to stand within your two-feet of personal space, not that they want to take on a mortgage with you.


Yeah, I hear what you're saying - part of the reason I pointout that it's a verb is in the hopes that someone might read it and get it, because most people don't think beyond the feeling. Just doing my part to help others realize what they are saying when they say it


And never date actors either - though it was an actor who helped me figure out that meaningful love is a verb, mostly because of his lack of action despite his wonderful words.
- February 22nd, 2009, 06:56 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#37   Reply With Quote
sillymama sillymama is offline
sillymama's Avatar

sillymama IS Wishing ManeiNeko AND DLion Love and Success!!!!!!

Enthusiast

Join Date: Dec 2008

Posts: 504

See profile



I'll admit I have not read everyones posts so forgive me if someone has already said this.


1. When you love someone, you are not ashamed of it.


2. He only calls you late at night for sex.


3. You both have had other sexual partners while this was going on.


4. You are NOT dating each other.


5. Nothing said while drunk can be trusted, EVER.


6. Men also crush beer cans on their heads while drunk, I don't take that seriously either.


I hope you have the stregnth to not continue this cycle any longer (unless you want ONLY a booty call). You are a booty call, save yourself some time and engery and move on to someone who will not be ashamed of you who will love you in the light of day WHILE SOBER. Everyone deserves better!
- February 22nd, 2009, 07:14 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#38   Reply With Quote
littlejeannieej littlejeannieej is offline
littlejeannieej's Avatar

littlejeannieej never claimed to be a lady...

Quick Study

Join Date: Feb 2009

Posts: 50

See profile



I just wanted to clarify...a couple of people have misunderstood minor details (I know my post is pretty long and confusing...). Paul is not a musician, nor is he in a band....we both work for the same band. And I don't think he's slept with anyone else. He is not what most women would consider attractive..., and he's not that sexually driven...(except when drinking and that's when he calls me). And according to his friends he doesn't do that. Just wanted to clear that up....I would never date a musician...lol.
- February 23rd, 2009, 09:01 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#39   Reply With Quote
Steve_Cam Steve_Cam is offline
Steve_Cam's Avatar

Steve_Cam is going to clean house

Enthusiast

Join Date: Jan 2009

Posts: 753

See profile

littlejeannieej wrote :

I just wanted to clarify...a couple of people have misunderstood minor details (I know my post is pretty long and confusing...). Paul is not a musician, nor is he in a band....we both work for the same band. And I don't think he's slept with anyone else. He is not what most women would consider attractive..., and he's not that sexually driven...(except when drinking and that's when he calls me). And according to his friends he doesn't do that. Just wanted to clear that up....I would never date a musician...lol.
But booty calls are on!


-Steve Cam
- February 23rd, 2009, 11:00 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#40   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

Reply
Page 4 of 5 « First 2 3 4 5

Bookmarks

« The Top 10 Guide to Dating in Seattle | Array | Would you tell someone you're dating about this site? »
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Yeah I think your priority was her and to her, her focus is with her kids and school...that being said not many people actually break up with someone they really want to be with to spare them, so I ... ” – indigirl1975

Join the “Lost and hurt” discussion

“I realized after I made my post that I should have said I do not believe enough men could be intimidated by women that it would encompass a significant share of a woman's dating experience. The way ... ” – churumbeque

Join the “where men are financially now” discussion

“I have not really found anything in any of the posts I could disagree with. I totally agree with WW's assessment of feeling guilty. IMHO you should never feel guilty about doing (or not doing) ... ” – olneyjeeps

Join the “Gods will and sex vs abstinence for older folks” discussion

“She has gone out with you twice. Ask her out again.” – Gr8Guyn2008

Join the “Third Date” discussion

“Wow. And I've heard men accuse the women on this board of just always advising to chuck the guy. Just because a relationship has hit a snag, or is having a little difficulty moving smoothly to the ... ” – librarybabe

Join the “what to do... second guessing myself” discussion

“I got through most of it enough to tell you that this woman is confused. You already know that but I don't want to help her I want to help you...is this woman ever going to be anything more than a ... ” – indigirl1975

Join the “Need a woman decoded please... help” discussion

“It appears the OP hasn't participated in EhA since she login and posed her question initially. We all come to these advise boards with so many different backgrounds...in fact I wrote another post ... ” – scarlet13

Join the “Frustrated & Confused: Is He A Sexual Addict???” discussion

“Yup talk=nothing. Seems like she was into you then she wasn't for some reason. I do not think it is because of work, I think that is an excuse I knew plenty of busy people who can pull of ... ” – indigirl1975

Join the “A big change suddenly” discussion



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 08:47 am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2009, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.3.0