Booty Call...when it's time to call it quits...or not?


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josieb1313 is offline josieb1313 Post #41  March 4,2009, 4:59pm
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I can totally relate! I got burned in a relationship and decided to get into a friends with benifits type of relationship with a guy that I was/am VERY attracted to. He divorced about a year ago and was still trying to get over the hurt. It worked for both of us for about 6 months. We had a great time together, didnt just hop into bed the second I walked in the door. I realized one day that I had fallen in love with him. WHOA when did that happen. Even though we had AMAZING sex, I know it will never be anything more then that so I put an end to it. It was very hard but I did it. Yep, there were many tears but in the end I knew I had to do it.There wasn't anyone else in the picture for either one of us, we never lied, disrespected, or used each other. I just knew it was time to end it. We still talk as friends but keep it FRIENDS. He doesnt push or tempt for more. I didnt tell him that I had fallen in love with him, just told him that I had decided that the booty callrelationship wasnt working for me anymore. ThatI was ready for arelationship with someone, not just sexual.


I am a very independant, strong, caring woman and I have NO self respect/ esteem issues. It's not hard to start caring for someone, especially when he isn't being a dog.


As for the friend............honey she isn't a true friend or she would NEVER mess with a guy that she knows you have feelings for! Whether your dating him or just a booty call. PERIOD! You just dont do that to a friend.
 
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springtimegirl is offline springtimegirl Post #42  March 4,2009, 6:56pm
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maple2,494376 wrote :

springtimegirl,493041 wrote :


BikerBeagle,492997 wrote :


I don't know of a nice way to put this ...


Does "dignity" and"self-respect" mean absolutely anything to you? ...apparently not. I can't even imagine, much less understand, how anyone could knowingly allow themselves to be used like this.


Yeah, I know. I have lost my self-respect and dignity with this man. I am so way out of my element here. I know this. I hate myself for it, but I have tried to let him go twice and I just couldn't. I guess I am just weak. I have to bite the bullet here and just tell him the next time I see him that it will be the last time. Or better yet, just don't call or text him anymore and leave him alone. But I feel I have some unsaid things I need to tell him first. Then I think it will make it easier for me to let him go. I know he is enjoying having me "wrapped" around his finger too. He is gloating in it. I didn't think I would have feelings for him though. I never thought I would end up falling for him at all.This is my first time I've ever done anything like this, so I need to step back and do what I got to do, otherwise I will end up so hurt (more than I am now). And I appreciate youbeing honest here. And Iknow I deserve so much better too. Actually, good news....Ihave 3 more prospects here and I'm praying and hoping 1 of them will be someone "date" worthy and someone who will appreciate me and respect me! And if so, NO more booty calls!!!


Springtimegirl, how do you fall in love with someone who is not doing anything for you? You might want to stop and ask yourself what is it that you love about this guy? In fact, I would start making a list. You may find out what you're feeling may not be love at all. You may be hopelessly in lust with this guy.


If you have things to say to him, go ahead and say but not after one more "booty call". The sooner you cut the cord, the less the pain you will feel. Good luck and I am sorry you're going through this.
I did leave out a few details that are pretty important, even though I am NOT seeing my "booty call" anymore. I don't know how I could have left this out, but I guess I was just not thinking clearly when I posted this in the first place. And it does change a few things about why I cared about him. He DID show some caring towards me. He called me in the middle of the night and I could tell something was wrong and that he had been drinking. He told me he needed to see me and almost begged me to come over. And so I did. My son was not home as he was at a sleepover at a friend's house. When I got there, the first thing he did was that he gave me a huge bear hug (squeezed very tightly). I was in total shock! I asked him what was wrong and he said that he is having some problems and that he would rather not talk about it because they are HIS problems. I didn't push it and said ok. I thought, WOW, he DOES care about me! I was not expecting this from him at all. So we talked for awhile and then when I left, he gave me another hug and thanked me for coming and that he appreciated it a lot. Yeah, so, to me, he DID care a little about me, but was never actually willing to admit it to me to my face. This is one reason why I had a hard time letting him go. But after the incident with my girlfriend, it didn't matter anymore. It made it that much easier to NOT have anything to do with him anymore. So now you see why it was hurtful and somewhat painful even though he was just a booty call. I even told him that he liked me more than he was willing to admit. And I think he did, but was scared. Another time, (maybe I was hearing things, but I don't think so), he told me "I love you" as I was leaving. He was in the shower just getting out. I know I heard this. I was dumbfounded though. And no, he was not drunk or anything. Maybe he meant I love you as a friend, or so I thought. Either way, I never asked about it. I was too scared to. He's been divorced nearly 5 yrs. now and said that he went through a bad divorce (as he left his ex when she was 6 months pregnant with his child). And that does sound awful, I know, cause that's what I thought too. Never knew why though, as he wouldn't elaborate. Something bad happened, I know that, and for some reason I feel he is just using women in general because of that. Not 100% sure on that, (I am assuming here), but it may reflect on why he does what he does. And it doesn't matter anymore, it's done with, over with, but I felt I needed to point this all this out.
 
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Ludiusvox is offline Ludiusvox Post #43  March 4,2009, 7:58pm
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rofl
 
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springtimegirl is offline springtimegirl Post #44  March 5,2009, 8:20pm
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Ludiusvox,516139 wrote :

rofl
I'm glad you found that so humorous. I was not trying to be funny, but hey, that's cool. I'm laughing about it now, cause it's over with. If case you were wondering, it is ALL TRUE! I would never make up something like this, and yeah it was pretty crazy for sure. But like I said before, hard lesson learned. I'm taking this all in stride cause I'm getting myself back on track and not dating anyone for awhile. It's nice to not have that drama anymore too which I put mostly on myself.
 
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