bwr is offline bwr Post #1  February 5,2009, 11:50pm
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So much for the wonderful relationship I had from eH. That came to a sudden screeching halt after 2 years (read my thread in relationships for more details). Communication issues eventually doomed us.


No more online dating for me! I don't think anyone could be more burned out from it than me.


I am going to focus on losing weight and my career for a while.
 
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Steve_Cam is offline Steve_Cam Post #2  February 6,2009, 12:29am

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good luck bwr,,,i hope your doing well with the situation.


-Steve Cam
 
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yaneyane is offline yaneyane Post #3  February 6,2009, 12:33am
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Don't give up bwr...however, there is absolutely NOTHING wrong and it's even really super healthy for you to decide to focus on the most important person in your life, YOU! Losing weight and keeping busy in your career will help you to regroup and heal. Focusing on yourself is a great confidence booster as well...and there is no better feeling than feeling good about yourself which will prepare you to conquer the world when you're ready to conquer it. For now, taking a step back and spending quality time with yourself will ensure a stronger you down the road. good luck, i really mean that, i know the feeling all too well...
 
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sabete2002 is offline sabete2002 Post #4  February 6,2009, 4:07am
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Sorry to hear that, bwr. I went back to the thread you mentioned so I'm sad but I'm not surprised. Of course you don't feel like dating. It wouldn't be a good idea right now. Focusing on yourself and taking time to regroup is a good thing.


To echo yaneyane's sentiment, a lot of us know what you are going through too well. Sending you good wishes.
 
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bwr is offline bwr Post #5  February 6,2009, 1:15pm
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I appreciate the comments. It was a very, verytough decision, but it had to be done. Its best for both me and her. I felt a bit guilty about the timing, and some may hint I am being "fair weather", but the bottom line is that it wasn't working out and dragging us both down. I do care for her and hope she gets through it, and I hope somehow she and I can be friends.


The main thing there were already communication issues long before she lost her job. There was no solid foundation of communication and trust, and unfortunately it took adversity to really expose it and make us realize it. Me and her are not LTR compatible, bottom line.
 
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bwr is offline bwr Post #6  February 6,2009, 2:10pm
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I wont start another thread on "weight issues", but I think me being overweight has a lot to do with my lack of success in dating in recent years, more so than ever.


I sense I am not getting full respect from women I have dated the last 5 years and I just don't feel like I am being taken seriously enough sometimes. This has been a reccuring problem since I have been overweight.


I used to think that it shouldn't matter, its "the beauty inside", etc., but I realize I have been living in denial.


If I were just a few pounds overweight, I would be ok, but I am obese - I need to lose 150 lbs. I just need to get in the ballpark again. Also, I am starting to have some nagging health issues that I dont want to get worse.


It seems like the women I have dating recently are more interested in my money or material possesions as opposed to me. And that is why my relationships seem empty.


I honestly am now convinced a lot of this has to do with my weight.
 
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rosy is offline rosy Post #7  February 6,2009, 3:47pm
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The end of a relationship is hard, whether it was a mutual agreeent or not. Just a comment if you will. 2 years is a long time to spend with someone be it good or bad, take the lessons learned.


I feel every relationship teaches us something about ourselves and narrows down what we ultimately want and convesely, don't in our next partner.
 
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BlackberryAddict is offline BlackberryAddict Post #8  February 6,2009, 4:28pm
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bwr,474590 wrote :

I wont start another thread on "weight issues", but I think me being overweight has a lot to do with my lack of success in dating in recent years, more so than ever.


I sense I am not getting full respect from women I have dated the last 5 years and I just don't feel like I am being taken seriously enough sometimes. This has been a reccuring problem since I have been overweight.


I used to think that it shouldn't matter, its "the beauty inside", etc., but I realize I have been living in denial.


If I were just a few pounds overweight, I would be ok, but I am obese - I need to lose 150 lbs. I just need to get in the ballpark again. Also, I am starting to have some nagging health issues that I dont want to get worse.


It seems like the women I have dating recently are more interested in my money or material possesions as opposed to me. And that is why my relationships seem empty.


I honestly am now convinced a lot of this has to do with my weight.
You mentioned your weight numerous times.... but maybe you should go back to another thread (the "proving list" around the3rd weekof Jan) where you describe your dating 'interview/lab rat experiment' that you do with women. Maybe you're relationships seem empty because you weed out the ones with a brain right at the start.

And then there's that 'they're after my money/things' again. Doesn't that get old after awhile? Rhetorical question cause I know you'll blame it on everything except the obvious.
Hmmm... wonder if this poor girl knew you've been out there looking when you were supposedly in a 2yr relationship. Gotta love online dating.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #9  February 6,2009, 5:27pm
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If you feel that you are 150 lbs over weight then you need to loose weight for other reasons than just dating.
 
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joyfulbliss is offline joyfulbliss Post #10  February 6,2009, 5:35pm
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I find myself single again after 25 years of marriage. He was my only love. I don't want to be with him and I don't think I am ready to be in a relationship again. How do I know when I am ready to date. Plus, what are some rules for dating, it's been a long... time.
 
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