Background checks? Why aren't you doing them?


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itsbits is offline itsbits Post #1  February 2,2009, 7:33am
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There was a post earlier that commented on when to let the guy know where you live. I also posted earlier, "Why do you bother to lie".


This brings the topic up as to why more women aren't doing their Safety homework before giving out your personal info. My thread asked the question, but missed the real point. After a valuable lesson, I do background checks.


I let the guy know i do a background check after meeting them and us deciding to "move forward". I just realized, that once I tell them the word "background check", I get the truth of who they are. They start telling me their real age, divorce timeframes (actual), kids living in the home, etc. I always do the background check (cheap for $29.95), but seems the telling can be just as effective to get the truth.


Why aren't you ladies doing this? One of my first matches on eharmony had me calling the police and filing a complaint, only to learn from the police, that lots of women had filed the same type of complaint.
 
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cappagirl is offline cappagirl Post #2  February 2,2009, 7:37am
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k - my question is - HOW do you do a background check?? Don't you have to be part of the FBI or government???
 
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StatGamer is offline StatGamer Post #3  February 2,2009, 7:40am
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I do background checks. I too have had one or two bad experiences and it's not a chance I am willing to take.


Found out one of the guys had a criminal record (Intent to sell, Assault with a deadly weapon so no small stuff here and had served jail time).


Found out one guy was living with another woman and had bought a house with her.


Found out that one guy who said he'd acheived this and the other wealth in years past, had actually achieved that by marrying a rich woman who was 30 years his senior.


I do background checks.
 
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ThePriestess is offline ThePriestess Post #4  February 2,2009, 7:42am
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itsbits, wrote :

I let the guy know i do a background check after meeting them and us deciding to "move forward".
At which point I will get up and walk away. You either ask my permission to engage in such actions prior, or I consider it an inappropriate invasion of privacy.
 
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itsbits is offline itsbits Post #5  February 2,2009, 7:44am
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cappagirl,466696 wrote :

k - my question is - HOW do you do a background check?? Don't you have to be part of the FBI or government???
There are several websites that can "layer" the checks. www.reversephonedetective.comis a great way to verify a person's home address and PAST addresses and or/phone numbersand is $29.95 for the year (unlimited searches). You can extend the search for criminal checks or divorces for $29.95 for each check. BEST NEWS IS..IF YOU DON'T GET ANY INFORMATION BACK, YOU GET A REFUND (them saying "no criminal history" isnt' the same thing as they will provide lots of other info on the person too).


But, if there are no matches for the person who you're checking on, then they lied about their info.
 
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StatGamer is offline StatGamer Post #6  February 2,2009, 7:46am
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cappagirl,466696 wrote :

k - my question is - HOW do you do a background check?? Don't you have to be part of the FBI or government???
Are you in Cnada? Don't know about sources there but in the US there are multiple places you can buy thes reports.


Actually as part of my job, we buy data on people all the time (yes, this probably means you!). My team hosts a file with all 122 million people in the US. For $40/1000 records, I could buy 500 variables about each of you, as long as I had your name and address. And I can get your address via websearches and looking at sites such as whitepages dot calm, etc. In addition, many vendors will sell me your email and your phone number for a small fee.Large vendors such as Claritas, Harte Hanks, Axciom, InfoUSA etc sell us this data routinely. Cappagirl, several of these vendors are active in Canada as well so the information is available.


I don't use our databases out of a sense of ethics (not sure this is valid but I don't want to combine work and play). Instead, I pay for my searches.


I've used Recordssearch dot com and I just found out about reversephonedetective. Recordsearch also lets you do background check, marriage and divorce records.


Google "people search" and you will see options.
 
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itsbits is offline itsbits Post #7  February 2,2009, 7:47am
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ThePriestess,466704 wrote :

itsbits, wrote :


I let the guy know i do a background check after meeting them and us deciding to "move forward".


At which point I will get up and walk away. You either ask my permission to engage in such actions prior, or I consider it an inappropriate invasion of privacy.
And I agree, fair is fair. I never take the man's last name or information until I've gotten an agreement that a background check is ok. But, as I have nothing to hide about who I am, I wouldn't take any offense to being asked. I also invite my date to check on me (which I disclose full information to them about me after I've checked them).


I'm interested in a relationship not physical abuse. I'd like the guy to know that I value him just as I value myself. if there isn't anything to hide, this issue is mute.
 
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Collateral is offline Collateral Post #8  February 2,2009, 7:48am
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I don't mean to play devil's advocate here but doesn't a background check seem like a touch much. We all know there are a few bad apples in the mix for everyone but it kinda seems like your putting everyone in that category by checking everyone.


I think everyone has a few things in their past they care not to discuss or may not come up in traditional conversation. Although at the same time they may come up in the background check.


For the people that do background checks, what if you met a great person that you think could go pretty far with but find out they have a few bad things in their past? Do you believe that person could or has changed or is that a deal-breaker and it's over?
 
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StatGamer is offline StatGamer Post #9  February 2,2009, 7:50am
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Sorry one more thing I forgot to add is with an NCOA process we get address changes for people. Since 25% of the US population moves each year, this is important information. Some companies have used this to tell you ALL OF THE PEOPLE you have ever shared a mailing address with at any time in your life. We ran a test and it found people's college room mates! Unfortunately this company got bought by a bigger one and the bigger one is deciding liabilty with privacy violation etc so product is temporarily unavailable.


I can buy your credit scores if I work for a financial company. I know how much debt you have, how many credit cards, what you paid for your house, how many cars you own etc.


Think paper trails. Anythign that gets recorded via a paper trail gets collected.
 
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itsbits is offline itsbits Post #10  February 2,2009, 7:54am
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Collateral,466715 wrote :

I don't mean to play devil's advocate here but doesn't a background check seem like a touch much. We all know there are a few bad apples in the mix for everyone but it kinda seems like your putting everyone in that category by checking everyone.


I think everyone has a few things in their past they care not to discuss or may not come up in traditional conversation. Although at the same time they may come up in the background check.


For the people that do background checks, what if you met a great person that you think could go pretty far with but find out they have a few bad things in their past? Do you believe that person could or has changed or is that a deal-breaker and it's over?
Analysing the information is CASE by CASE. Someone with a history of stalking women is a no brainer. Someone who has a history of beating his wife (with filed complaints) is a no brainer. Someone who stole a candy bar from the local market when they were kids isn't the same thing. If you run the check and you want to talk about the stuff, that's a great way to put it on the table and or laugh about it.


It's the dangerous stuff, and some of the most charasmatic people can hide this stuff pretty well until too late. I'm a woman who lives in a somewhat secluded area of the city (read woods, ravine) and lives alone. There are alot of men who could phyically overpower me if they really wanted to. It only takes $30.00 to meet me if they get through guided communication. Think about it, only $30.00 and exposure to how many women?
 
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