How do *you* define chemistry?


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rocchio is offline rocchio Post #21  January 28,2009, 3:58pm
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three_eyes,458148 wrote :

Ooh, I forgot a good one. If we flirt back and forth by text all day and I stay turned on ... the whole day.
The whole day.......? Wow! I've experienced that exact same thing. Yes, it's pretty hard to concentrate when you are getting turned on by text messages!
 
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scot59 is offline scot59 Post #22  January 28,2009, 4:02pm
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Chemistry to me is a internal pull, a release of endorphins that that peticular person causes. I have experienced and do think it's a rare thing,you'll know it when you have it! My last girl friend and I had it but that was all we had. It's nice if you have it along with the other main necessities for a healthy relationship!
 
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Jim47 is offline Jim47 Post #23  January 28,2009, 4:41pm

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three_eyes, wrote :

I'm a bit curious how different folks define chemistry. In other words, how do you know if you have it with someone new? Is it always immediately present for you and stays there even after meeting, or dating for a long time, or do you find it takes time to develop? I also am curious to hear if there are any differences between the genders' perceptions of what chemistry is.


Personally I find it to be someone with whom I talk easily and about anything, who demonstrates as much interest in me as I do in him, and who shares enough of my outlook on life (esp shared politics), that I think, "this could be really good." I've found it usually takes a bit of time to develop, as for me there needs to be that mental connection, and I can't always figure it out on the first date. But if all of these things are present,theywill make me want to grab him and kiss him until we're both breathless!
I can tell fairly quickly (not instantly) when first meeting someone. If I find someone gets me to shed my naturally somewhat guarded state fairly quickly, I know I have a connection with them. If they meet my eye when we talk, show genuine interest in both myself and in revealing themselves, and appreciate my sense of humor, I know I have a winner. It also helps when I notice a doe eyed look of affection back at me.


Except for the doe eyes (and the pants tent pitching) this also goes for meeting just plain friends of either gender.
 
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three_eyes is offline three_eyes Post #24  January 28,2009, 4:54pm
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lada2,458217 wrote :

it happens, at a distance of about 3 feet. conveniently, acrooss a small table. It has to do with eye contact; there must be some pheromonal component, a timbre of the voice. It does NOT happen on line or over phone (I've made that mistake before). But if I get near, and it is there, then I just get sucked in.
How lovely...
 
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StatGamer is offline StatGamer Post #25  January 28,2009, 5:06pm
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Since you're asking about chemistry with someone new, it's largely physical with ease and camraderie mixed in.


I know when I smell his skin and it makes me want to inhale his scent. When he touches the small of my back as we walk to our table and it makes my breath catch in my throat. When I sit across the table from him and hungrily watch his hands, imagining how they will feel against my skin. When he is talking but I only see his lips. When he looks at me and I struggle to remember what I was saying. When I look at him, in the same state and watch that moment flare in his eyes when we both realize this could be very dangerous.When I get turned on everytime I think about him.


That's when I know.
 
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PrettyPisces is offline PrettyPisces Post #26  January 28,2009, 6:50pm
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simpletonHeart70,458119 wrote :

believe me, you are the least offensive person on this board. You know that disease Irritable Bowel Syndrome? I have that all over.
Well then, I guess I'm just gonna have to turn down the suck and turn up the AWESOME!
 
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DearSomeone is offline DearSomeone Post #27  January 29,2009, 2:18am
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lada2,458217 wrote :

it happens, at a distance of about 3 feet. conveniently, acrooss a small table. It has to do with eye contact; there must be some pheromonal component, a timbre of the voice. It does NOT happen on line or over phone (I've made that mistake before). But if I get near, and it is there, then I just get sucked in.
I share the same sentiment! Chemistry happens instantly, it's this intense emotion that draws two people together, something like a magnet. The feeling can't be explained, it's quite rare, you'll know it when you experience it!
 
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Mr_Right is offline Mr_Right Post #28  January 29,2009, 4:01am
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It's when BOTH people have a intense urge to make out at the end of the date.
 
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WaterHound is offline WaterHound Post #29  January 29,2009, 5:42am
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Personal chemistry for me is the feeling invoked by interaction with a woman. It goes bot ways- positive or negative altho most only talk about the positive. Pls pardon the pun, but positive chemistry occurs when the elements of her personality, when in proximity or contact with mine, create heat (positve feelings). The best chemistry is hypergolic and results in some new thing that is unique to the mixing of our elements. For example- my comfort in water and her interest to explore got us into cruising by boat on weekends. It never wld have happened on my own. (hypergolic means ignition on contact).
 
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vlnman is offline vlnman Post #30  January 29,2009, 5:58am
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Mystery explained - To watchbiology in motion go out this spring and sit in the park. Observe. Watch chipmunks frantically chase other chipmunks. Note that they do not chase squirrels. Watch squirrels - they do the opposite. Primal "chemistry" at work.


Humans are a bit more complex. We start off the same... humans all over the planet utilize the same initial flirting language....eye contacts, gestures, etc without being specifically aware of it. We also have different love types that we look for....in chipmunk world this would be like going off after miss squirrel or mr weasel. It becomes an issue of what we actually do with the initial "chemistry" urge or urgesthat matter most.


The interesting problem isthat those who state they must feel instant chemistry....or that base a relationship on this chemistry typically end up in one of two places. They think this initial attraction is the stuff of long lasting love....it fades...they never thought about commitments required, and the relationship fails. Or, they exist in online dating sites forever....looking for squirrels while they ignore well mannered, even good looking chipmunks.


Lord, I hope I never have this conversation with someone who feels chemistry with me
 
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