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littlebluemonkeymind littlebluemonkeymind is offline
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littlebluemonkeymind meh

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meg731 wrote :




*hands Roger a mop and bucket before running out...with her bra*


And, I apologize for my part in this threadjacking.


That is all.
LOL...you da woman.


- January 26th, 2009, 08:15 pm
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StatGamer StatGamer is offline
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lada2 wrote :

on the other hand...why waste a life on someone whose best response is tepid??
I agree with this. When you spent the night at his house, was he or rather his body at least...um..signaling..interest?


I get the whole "I got self-restraint to spare" demonstration but if I am in bed with a man who likes me and he is not into it, then I'm out of it. Month, schmonth. Yeah a month is early maybe but amonth is also too early to sleep over I guess.


It's not as though he doesn't know you're interested; you've told him you're interested by discussing it with him.


Lemme tell you. I'm old enough to have dated a lot and met all kinds of attitudes toward sex. If a man likes, you, he wants you. Period. End of Story. I've heard all the "but baby, I respect you too much" and the "well I want something serious not just a bo@ty call" and what not.


If a man likes you, and you indicate willingness, he's there.


I try to be more nuanced in my posts and see things from this way and that, but this one? been burnt too many times by believing lies like that. So forgive my dogmatic answer here.
- January 26th, 2009, 08:15 pm
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landstar59 landstar59 is online now
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rogerlee5 wrote :

Now, for the original OP...


Perhaps, and I say perhaps because neither I, nor anyone else here knows what is going on in his head, but perhaps, since he is just out of a 4 year relationship, he isn't in a hurry to feel a repeat of that pain.. Unless someone is extremely callous in their behaviors, the bond strengthening of s*x in a relationship makes it's possible demise considerably more painful.. If he realizes that, consiously or subconsciously, then perhaps he is just being cautious to protect himself from repeating the experience..


Perhaps his last relationship became intimate quickly and now, in his mind, he blames that intimacy as the key that locked him into persuing a bad relationship that didn't survive.. It could be he doesn't want to feel like he is making the same mistake all over again..


If you wish to know, ask him.. But, the asking must be reasonably benign, so that it doesn't come across as negative criticism.. Do not use, "Why don't you want.." or "What's wrong with.." to start the conversation.. Try, "I would like to know how you feel about.." or "What do you think about.." Attempt to have a rational discussion about the pros and cons, not an emotional free for all..


And lastly, if everything else is good, don't let worrying about it get in the way..


Has anybody seen a shoe laying around here?? I'm missing one??




I think this is the absolute best response and rogerlee5 thank you (so much) for telling even us women of another generation the correct way to word a question to a man so he won't run away, screaming in his head (on nooooooooooo!) I could always use a lesson in Manspeak. BTW, I think your shoe is still on isle 2 when you ran away from the cat fight. ROTFL
- January 26th, 2009, 09:13 pm
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FruitaBu FruitaBu is offline
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PrettyPisces, wrote :

Or am I just being overly analytical?
bingo! (Welcome to the club.. lol )
- January 26th, 2009, 09:36 pm
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No, if it was there, I would have found it when LBMM and Meg made me mop up.. I'll keep looking..
- January 26th, 2009, 09:40 pm
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PrettyPisces PrettyPisces is offline
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StatGamer wrote :

lada2 wrote :


on the other hand...why waste a life on someone whose best response is tepid??


I agree with this. When you spent the night at his house, was he or rather his body at least...um..signaling..interest?


I get the whole "I got self-restraint to spare" demonstration but if I am in bed with a man who likes me and he is not into it, then I'm out of it. Month, schmonth. Yeah a month is early maybe but amonth is also too early to sleep over I guess.


It's not as though he doesn't know you're interested; you've told him you're interested by discussing it with him.


Lemme tell you. I'm old enough to have dated a lot and met all kinds of attitudes toward sex. If a man likes, you, he wants you. Period. End of Story. I've heard all the "but baby, I respect you too much" and the "well I want something serious not just a bo@ty call" and what not.


If a man likes you, and you indicate willingness, he's there.


I try to be more nuanced in my posts and see things from this way and that, but this one? been burnt too many times by believing lies like that. So forgive my dogmatic answer here.
I think the tragedy in this is that either my generation or maybe just my experiences have been consistantly on the fast track. I got seriously involved young with my ex when I was 19, married at 21, all the boys I've gotten involved with prior to marriage and post divorce have had no qualms with rushing me into bed. Now that I'm being presented something totally different, I have no idea how to react to it.


I did tell him, "I'm not used to someone going this slow with me."


His response? "Well, I figure we can either rush into something and have it mean nothing or take our time and have it be meaningful."


I know what you're thinking because I thought it too, "awww!" My gut feeling with M. Objet d'Affection is that he really is just an amazing individual and I should roll over and thank my lucky stars every time I think about it but there's still that little piece of doubt in my mind that says, "hey wait a minute... not everything is as it seems and you need to be on the look out."


I just really don't want to sabotage myself here, I guess.
- January 27th, 2009, 10:30 am
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lada2 maybe i should have not closed that door so hard, so quick

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it might be a generational thing, Pisces. You are young, and Stat and I are...closer in age to each other than to you (but neither one of us is OLD, lets get that straight). At your end of the spectrum, the male of the species is bursting with testosterone. our peers, on the other hand, often have pushed past the mere physical aspects of relationships and emphasize spiritual companionship, sensual touch and the cost to benefit ratio of via gra.


- January 27th, 2009, 10:47 am
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WaterHound WaterHound is offline
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Tantalus wrote :

Topic 1: I like it. Women always need to be more transparent about what they want.


Topic 2: You're probably being overanalytical, but if it bothers you, have you thought about trying to seduce him ? If he says no to that, then you'll have your answer.
+2. Ask him to avoid being overanalytical and making stuff up.
- January 27th, 2009, 10:52 am
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PrettyPisces PrettyPisces is offline
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WaterHound wrote :


+2. Ask him to avoid being overanalytical and making stuff up.


Did you even read what I just posted not 2 reponses above this?


PS lada, LOL and to Roger, thank you so much for your insight. I agree that it was probably one of the better responses tho I haven't found any partnerless shoes laying around.
- January 27th, 2009, 11:01 am
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