He lied about his height and it ruined the date


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Faira is offline Faira Post #21  January 21,2009, 9:01pm
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In_Bloom,444406 wrote :

Faira,444359 wrote :


Hey, after finding out that you're willing to close the door on a relationship over two inches in height, he might not be so hot to date you anymore either.


Don't sweat it and move on, it's likely what he's doing.


So apparently, by your logic, women are entitled to having their profile photos photoshopped so that they appear to be, oh, say, 15-20 pounds lighter than they really are. Afterall, if a man thinks you're 130-ish but you end up 145-150 ish, it's not that big a deal. Right?
[/quote]

I'm not sure where you got that from my post, but whatever,


It doesn't really matter what anyone thinks about this except for you. If you're prepared to accept that you may miss out on a fantastic relationship because of a two-inch difference in height, that's your perogative. But also be prepared to accept that maybe he didn't take hte best impression of you away from the experience, either (read: he might think you're shallow).


But if you can deal with that, no reason to stress, right? You'll just have to hope that your perfect match personality-wise also happens to be over 5'8", and that he'll be forgiving of whatever white lie *you* might end up telling (and relax, I'm not calling you a liar...but no one can say they've never told a white lie).


Two inches in height isn't a white lie, you say? That's up to you to decide. Again, it says a lot about you think is of ultimate importance in a relationship, and some people are going to think that this is a shallow way of looking at things. That is just a fact.
 
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Radar510 is offline Radar510 Post #22  January 21,2009, 9:08pm
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In_Bloom, wrote :

I met someone for the first time in-person recently and he lied about his height. Granted, many of you will probably criticize me for being shallow, etc. but I'm not bothered. He said he was 5'8" and he's my height, about 5'6". This set the tone for the rest of the date, the realization that he fibbed and it just felt... tainted. Some of the women reading this will understand. Worst is that he is obviously interested in me and had high expectations. He could have saved himself a lot of trouble. It's MY right if I don't want to date someone that short; and it's not cool to trick someone because they are self-conscious about height/weight/age or anything else.


It's so disappointing, a cheap tactic... PLEASE BE HONEST IN YOUR PROFILES! It saves a lot of future heartache and annoyance. That's my vent.
In_bloom, you are a very quick judge. You auto-matically presumed a man is lying to you because of a height issue which could have many possibilities besides lying. 1) due to gravity and cartilage, he could of shrunk (yes shrunk, the body shrinks as the day goes on due to the cartilage in the body being squished by the weight of the body.) 2) Simple estimation error. No one is perfect. and this is going for you as well and 3) Measurement error, last time either one was measured could of been wrong. Also taken into consideration, a man's height is not the only thing you should measure. Measure his Honor, Courage, Loyalty, and Heart for these are what makes a man tall.
 
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99bluemustangs is offline 99bluemustangs Post #23  January 21,2009, 9:12pm
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Lying about ANYTHING always ruins the first date. Looks, age, height, weight, bald, whatever.


It MIGHT get you the first date, but nothing else. So what's the point? DON'T DO IT !!! That includes photoshopping yourself into unreality, airbrushing those pockmarks into oblivion or whatever you're doing. It's STUPID. DON'T DO IT!


I'm sick of dates I can't recognize on the first date. If you think your wonderful personality is going to make up for having lied about your appearance, you thought wrong. The initial shock is too much to think of any hope of getting to date #2.


I met one guy from e-H who said he was 48 and honestly - that guy saw 48 some decades ago. What was the point of that? He was ANCIENT. Like I wasn't going to notice????


Be secure about who & what you are. If someone doesn't like you for YOU, then just find someone who does. But to try to lie yourself into a date is just a recipe for disaster.
 
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chawks64 is offline chawks64 Post #24  January 21,2009, 9:19pm
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Guys typically know their true height in high school, rounding up of course, then don't give it a second thought after that. In addition, you DO shrink, and not just in your retirement years.


So he very well could have thought he was 5'8, and was wondering why you lied and said you were 5'6. When was the last time you actually measured yourself?
 
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MelinCali is offline MelinCali Post #25  January 21,2009, 9:21pm
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Radar510,444500 wrote :

In_Bloom, wrote :


I met someone for the first time in-person recently and he lied about his height. Granted, many of you will probably criticize me for being shallow, etc. but I'm not bothered. He said he was 5'8" and he's my height, about 5'6". This set the tone for the rest of the date, the realization that he fibbed and it just felt... tainted. Some of the women reading this will understand. Worst is that he is obviously interested in me and had high expectations. He could have saved himself a lot of trouble. It's MY right if I don't want to date someone that short; and it's not cool to trick someone because they are self-conscious about height/weight/age or anything else.


It's so disappointing, a cheap tactic... PLEASE BE HONEST IN YOUR PROFILES! It saves a lot of future heartache and annoyance. That's my vent.


In_bloom, you are a very quick judge. You auto-matically presumed a man is lying to you because of a height issue which could have many possibilities besides lying. 1) due to gravity and cartilage, he could of shrunk (yes shrunk, the body shrinks as the day goes on due to the cartilage in the body being squished by the weight of the body.) 2) Simple estimation error. No one is perfect. and this is going for you as well and 3) Measurement error, last time either one was measured could of been wrong. Also taken into consideration, a man's height is not the only thing you should measure. Measure his Honor, Courage, Loyalty, and Heart for these are what makes a man tall.
You forgot one thing from your list of things to measure--his integrity. I think she did measure that one.
 
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bluskies4ever is offline bluskies4ever Post #26  January 21,2009, 9:33pm
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Women can lie about their weight if they wish, and both genders lie about their age. One man I was chatting with online told me he was 33 but he was 38.


I agree about the deduct two inches if he says he's between 5' 7" and 5' 11", although sometimes you have to deduct more like four inches. It can work for men to lie about their height, especially if the woman is his height or shorter than him.


I answered a personal ad of a guy who said he was 5' 11', but he was probably between 5'5" and 5' 7". In cases where he treats you right and is good in other areas (the man I'm referring to had a prestigious professional job but had reached maybe the four or five day mark in terms of not bathing but he did offer to pay for my meal) then I think it's less of an issue.


Jerk, cheapskate and short equals no, no, no. If you're short guys, and are lucky enough to get a date, then be good to her. Don't complain about not getting dates with women if you're an a z z h o le to boot. OK?
 
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Jeanniec is offline Jeanniec Post #27  January 21,2009, 9:38pm
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Trivial or not... shallow or not... You are certainly entitled to your own preferences, standards, quirks, and/or boundaries with all your on-line matches and with anyone you choose to date. Bottom line is he lied… if he lied about this you have to wonder what else he lied about. Not a great start to anything. I have a difficult time believing there are adults living in the US and unaware of his/her accurate height. Perhaps they should take a look at their driver’s license, ID, or passport. It generally never fluctuates like weight.
 
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Radar510 is offline Radar510 Post #28  January 21,2009, 9:39pm
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MelinCali,444520 wrote :

Radar510,444500 wrote :


In_Bloom, wrote :


I met someone for the first time in-person recently and he lied about his height. Granted, many of you will probably criticize me for being shallow, etc. but I'm not bothered. He said he was 5'8" and he's my height, about 5'6". This set the tone for the rest of the date, the realization that he fibbed and it just felt... tainted. Some of the women reading this will understand. Worst is that he is obviously interested in me and had high expectations. He could have saved himself a lot of trouble. It's MY right if I don't want to date someone that short; and it's not cool to trick someone because they are self-conscious about height/weight/age or anything else.


It's so disappointing, a cheap tactic... PLEASE BE HONEST IN YOUR PROFILES! It saves a lot of future heartache and annoyance. That's my vent.


In_bloom, you are a very quick judge. You auto-matically presumed a man is lying to you because of a height issue which could have many possibilities besides lying. 1) due to gravity and cartilage, he could of shrunk (yes shrunk, the body shrinks as the day goes on due to the cartilage in the body being squished by the weight of the body.) 2) Simple estimation error. No one is perfect. and this is going for you as well and 3) Measurement error, last time either one was measured could of been wrong. Also taken into consideration, a man's height is not the only thing you should measure. Measure his Honor, Courage, Loyalty, and Heart for these are what makes a man tall.


You forgot one thing from your list of things to measure--his integrity. I think she did measure that one.
How did she measure his integrity, by the simple fact that he was wrong about his hieght? That's like saying someone measured one's integrity by that fact that someone lied about their weight because they were 5 pounds off. WRONG! She assumed that he lied, never really put any thought into why he was wrong. Yes lying can make a date go sour, but she judge him on a height issue which I honestly can't say was a lie from her story. Now if she said the man said he was 5'8" and was 3' 2" I can see the lie there, but not 2 inches, I can not see an issue with integrity there. Just ignorance in one's own height.
 
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bluskies4ever is offline bluskies4ever Post #29  January 21,2009, 9:55pm
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Did you have 'Lying' on your list of Can't Stands? If not, put it there. And don't let the men gaslight you.


If you don't like overweight, we get to not like short.


Fair is fair, capiche?


And nobody likes a liar but another liar.


Put "Lying' on your list of Can't Stands, girlfriend.
 
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MelinCali is offline MelinCali Post #30  January 21,2009, 10:14pm
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From: "Loss of Height in Women Due to Old Age" by Linda Ann Nickerson


"Actually, both men and women tend to lose height with age. Most people reach their maximum bone density around age 30. After that, the human skeletal structure naturally begins to lose stature. After age 35, human bones seem to lose calcium and structural density each year.


......Studies have shown that a man may lose 2 inches (about 5 cm) in height between age 30 and 80, while a women may lose nearly 3 1/2 inches (8 cm) of stature during that same time period."


I am doubtful he is ignorant of his height (loss) unless he is elderly--but then again his age isn't stated so I'm willing to consider the shrinking theory.





(Edited for(loss of)formatting)
 
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