Overweight female wanting to use eHarmony...would like some feedback


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Songryder is offline Songryder Post #11  January 17,2009, 4:48am
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cal, wrote :

Hi, thinking of using eHarmony as a tool to expand my horizons but wanted some feedback from the men out there. How many of you would be willing/able to look past someones weight and truly focus on their personality and your compatibility? In the interest of fairness this is a piece of information I think I should share early in the process but not sure how to deliver it. Any thoughts?


And to answer your question, I have afair amount of weight to lose but I'm very committed to my weight loss and doing well with it.
There's been some heated discussions regarding this subject on these boards . . . but I am encouranged by a few of the men who have expressed their opinions here without being cruel or self righteous about their preferences.


There are many women of size who use EHarmony, but it is a difficult way to date as far as I'm concerned whether you'rethin or heavy. You've got thousands of people from all over the world here and the Advice Boards are filled with those who have not had good experiences with online dating in general.Dating etiquette (or lack thereof) that exists is the equivalent of high school and often digresses into preschool behavior.


There's too many "Walking Wounded" on the dating site itself that come here after the same things in terms of people disappearing or being too pushy sexually in the beginning. There are a lot of 'players' out there, so just be aware that the dating scene has changed dramatically over the last 15 years with the advent of online dating and it's much harder in a lot of ways.
 
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tbesq is offline tbesq Post #12  January 17,2009, 9:27am
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I would be more likely to be attracted to an overweight/obese woman who I met IRL than I would on a dating website. Just being honest.
 
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StatGamer is offline StatGamer Post #13  January 17,2009, 9:51am
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tbesq,436099 wrote :

I would be more likely to be attracted to an overweight/obese woman who I met IRL than I would on a dating website. Just being honest.
Why?
 
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corbincarvin321 is offline corbincarvin321 Post #14  January 17,2009, 9:58am
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Songryder,435727 wrote :

To start with what your comments on here i wouldn't know why you made mention of this but to be very honest with you there are lots of men out there who will not just only look past ones weight but willing to accept with all manner of total desire,Dear i want you to know that Life is not just what we think or see but goes way beyound that ok an at this point i would want to stop here but if you would like to hear more from me i will be waiting your reply ok an you can also write me to my work email nature557@aol.com ok....





Bob.... A New Member.


Hi, thinking of using eHarmony as a tool to expand my horizons but wanted some feedback from the men out there. How many of you would be willing/able to look past someones weight and truly focus on their personality and your compatibility? In the interest of fairness this is a piece of information I think I should share early in the process but not sure how to deliver it. Any thoughts?


And to answer your question, I have afair amount of weight to lose but I'm very committed to my weight loss and doing well with it.


There's been some heated discussions regarding this subject on these boards . . . but I am encouranged by a few of the men who have expressed their opinions here without being cruel or self righteous about their preferences.


There are many women of size who use EHarmony, but it is a difficult way to date as far as I'm concerned whether you'rethin or heavy. You've got thousands of people from all over the world here and the Advice Boards are filled with those who have not had good experiences with online dating in general.Dating etiquette (or lack thereof) that exists is the equivalent of high school and often digresses into preschool behavior.


There's too many "Walking Wounded" on the dating site itself that come here after the same things in terms of people disappearing or being too pushy sexually in the beginning. There are a lot of 'players' out there, so just be aware that the dating scene has changed dramatically over the last 15 years with the advent of online dating and it's much harder in a lot of ways.[/quote]

To start with what your comments on here i wouldn't know why you made mention of this but to be very honest with you there are lots of men out there who will not just only look past ones weight but willing to accept with all manner of total desire,Dear i want you to know that Life is not just what we think or see but goes way beyound that ok an at this point i would want to stop here but if you would like to hear more from me i will be waiting your reply ok an you can also write me to my work email nature557@aol.com ok....





Bob.... A New Member.
 
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corbincarvin321 is offline corbincarvin321 Post #15  January 17,2009, 10:02am
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neardc,435482 wrote :

BGood - you sound like a keeper!


Cal - I'm afraid that you'll find in most of the discussions about weight on these boards (and there are a LOT of them), the men are quite intolerant of women being overweight (a few extra pounds are okay, but not someone who is overweight or obese). Keep in mind, though, that this is just a small sample of people here, and many of them are not members of the eHarmony dating service.


One thing that nearly all agree onis that it's important not to hide your appearance from your matches or pretend that you look differently than you do. The easiest way to do that is simply to include photos of yourself in your profile (including a full-length shot). Some will "close" you because of your weight, but others will not.


Good luck in your search (and your weight loss)!
To start with what your comments on here i wouldn't know why you made mention of this but to be very honest with you there are lots of men out there who will not just only look past ones weight but willing to accept with all manner of total desire,Dear i want you to know that Life is not just what we think or see but goes way beyound that ok an at this point i would want to stop here but if you would like to hear more from me i will be waiting your reply ok an you can also write me to my work email nature557@aol.com ok....





Bob.... A New Member.
 
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Red Sox Girl is offline Red Sox Girl Post #16  January 17,2009, 10:07am

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StatGamer,436147 wrote :

tbesq,436099 wrote :


I would be more likely to be attracted to an overweight/obese woman who I met IRL than I would on a dating website. Just being honest.


Why?
I think tb means that in realtime, he's more likely to have a chance to get to know someone who maybe he came across through friends/work etc and therefore develop attraction to them - online, however, it's really our photos that provide the immediate attraction focus because we don't know someone's personality.
 
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corbincarvin321 is offline corbincarvin321 Post #17  January 17,2009, 10:07am
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I promise you that no matter what your weight is you are admired by someone out there just that we have to find em an then the rest comes later ...
 
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