First "in person" date


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newby is offline newby Post #1  January 15,2009, 5:31pm
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Any advice for a first 'in person' date with someone? I'm 30 and I've never met anyone who I've only communicated with online before and now I have a date next week with one of my matches. I'm very nervous and want it to go well. Not sure what kind of dating etiquette I should be following. Haven't even really had a real date in about 5 years since I was in a long term relationship until a few months ago so I'm a little out of the loop when it comes to dating if you know I mean. Suggestions, advice???!
 
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eyesofblue2 is offline eyesofblue2 Post #2  January 15,2009, 5:34pm
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Just relax, smile and be yourself...... it is that special person you are naturally that drew this person to you.
 
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safd28 is offline safd28 Post #3  January 15,2009, 5:41pm
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Be on time, smile, make eye contact, and participate in the conversation and you should be fine
 
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c_hristy is offline c_hristy Post #4  January 15,2009, 5:57pm
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Try and pick a place that you feel comfortable at. That way even if you're terribly nervous at first, your mind will recognize it as a neutral environment, and you'll naturally relax a little as the date goes on.
 
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MelinCali is offline MelinCali Post #5  January 15,2009, 6:17pm
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newby, I am in the same boat as you, with my first in-person date coming up Saturday with an EH match and my first "first date" in 12 years. I am definitely going to keep an eye on this thread for myself!


I don't know about you, but I am looking forward to moving to an in-person meeting as I sometimes am struck by how unnatural it feels to be chatting for a week on the phone (every other night) with someone I have never met, especially after several weeks of e-mail.


I'm sure the dating advice of smile and be yourself never goes out of style. Good luck!
 
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Ladyairdragon is offline Ladyairdragon Post #6  January 15,2009, 6:18pm
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Be yourself... You were matched on what things you have in common. So just smile be happy or admit that you are nervous they probably are to.
 
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Kristian79 is offline Kristian79 Post #7  January 15,2009, 6:31pm
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It's not as unnerving as you've built it up to be....relax. Also, make sure the two of you are absolutely sure of where you're meeting...I learned that from experience.
 
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KungFuFtr is offline KungFuFtr Post #8  January 15,2009, 7:00pm
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newby, wrote :

Any advice for a first 'in person' date with someone? I'm 30 and I've never met anyone who I've only communicated with online before and now I have a date next week with one of my matches. I'm very nervous and want it to go well. Not sure what kind of dating etiquette I should be following. Haven't even really had a real date in about 5 years since I was in a long term relationship until a few months ago so I'm a little out of the loop when it comes to dating if you know I mean. Suggestions, advice???!
Just be yourself...


Unless you are a sociopath or something; then, by all means obtain meds and counseling.


I like to think of first dates/meetings as an experiment, it takes the pressure away. Remember both of you have something to offer and she wants it to go well too. Try not to take yourself too seriously and don't overdue it. She has to win you over as well. I'm not a big fan of dating etiquette or supplication, but that's my routine.


Enjoy
 
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meg731 is offline meg731 Post #9  January 15,2009, 7:09pm
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KungFuFtr,433646 wrote :




Unless you are a sociopath or something; then, by all means obtain meds and counseling.

Heh. This is exactly what I think of every time someone says "Just be yourself..."


Good luck, newby! I have no good advice to give that hasn't already been given. Make sure you give us an update!
 
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LavenderFields is offline LavenderFields Post #10  January 15,2009, 7:40pm
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How exciting Newbie & Mel!!! Congrats


I agree with the other posters but I also do some of the following things for dates, some are maybe a bit overboard so ignore as you see fit.
[*]I get ready for a date an hour ahead of schedule. Then I either sit on my couch reading or I drive closer to the meeting place and do some window shopping. That way, I am never late. A guy usually is impressed if a girl is on time. [*]I turn my cell phone to 1 beep or vibrate and aware of it until my date arrives. When I am on the date I ignore all calls (I sometimes turn it off unless I have a girlfriend check on me)[*]I make sure I have suitable gum or mints on me to freshen up right before I greet him and even to offer afterwards. Bubble gum tape will look too childish! [*]If it is a place I've never been to, I do a bit of research. Check the menu if it is a food date and even somewhat decide what to eat. Maybe even get a feeling on type of setting (ubber casual or trendy). I also read reviews just in case I learn something important, like if they only accept cash or if the place is loud or with unusual long waits or rude waitstaff. ALWAYS carry cash regardless. [*]I re-read the profile and make sure I have all the details. You really don't want to confuse him with anybody else you may be in OC with. [*]I have some topics of communication as a back up based on his or our interests, just in case we are both nervous and don't know what to talk about. I once dated a professor and read one of his papers and we discussed it (yes first date!), I also checked out an author or book they mentioned in their profile. I stay away of all past history regarding previous relationships but have some answers if he happens to ask, I played trivia daily with one before out date and we were accumulating points to see who would 'win' a cup of coffee, so we started by asking our questions and deciding the winner! [*]Dress to impress but not outside of your zone. Meaning: do not wear and outfit that is not you, be yourself in all terms and purposes.[*]Smile, make eye contact, and at the end of the date make sure you sincerely give 'feedback' about the date. Please don't leave without giving a clear sign (or better yet than a sign WORDS)that you do or you do not want to move forward getting to know him.[*]Update us all!! and hopefully you won't have the need of a post that starts "What does XYZ mean"[/list]

Good luck and overall BE safe, this is as much of a stranger than anybody you would meet at the market.


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