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dakrt360a dakrt360a is offline
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Okay here's the situation: I had a long relationship (4 years) followed up with a proposal/engagement, follow up with an un-proposal/engagement, if that's even the right way to say it. I'm having trouble getting back out into the dating world, one because I haven't dated many people, and two because I find that there are a lot of women that are just as shallow as a lot of men (bare with me here). What's the best way to jump back into the dating scene?
- March 27th, 2008, 08:25 am
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User78055 User78055 is offline
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Sorry you haven't had a response yet. How about letting your friends know you are "back on the market" for one? Let your co-workers know as well.
- March 28th, 2008, 10:50 pm
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badbobbie1231 badbobbie1231 is offline
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That is a good question. Im am 26 and moved to a new town. So I had to start over completely.

and hahah, I also had the issue of shallow women too. (For example my girlfriend broke up with me when I decided to be a teacher because it wouldnt pay for the "finer things in life" that she wanted.) So i feel your pain brotha!

But anyways... "To get back out there" I think you have to get involved in hobbies and activities where you can meet people with similar interests. For example, I am a Christian man that takes my faith seriously. So i have gotten involved in my local church and have just begun to meet men and women through church activities. Also start talking to your current friends about helping you meet people through group hangouts or group dates. And I never date coworkers, but see if your coworkers have any friends that are looking to date.

And "getting out there" will involve "getting shot down!" Its the nature of the beast.

So good luck!

- March 30th, 2008, 01:46 am
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tallos05 tallos05 is offline
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start hitting on every woman that is nice.. nothing big, and dont use pick up lines.. at least not the stupid ones, funny is good. Just complament and generaly flert with every woman that u find to be nice.. no matter if u want a relationship frim them or not. this will build your confidence, the next step is after u feal comfortable andflerting and complimentingstarts coming naturaly, ask for phone numbers. You will get shot down.. but remember u are still complimenting and asking for numbers from every nice woman u meet. you dont have to call any one that u dont want to actualy see.. but get out and start the mojo back up... the only way is the do it...

Oh and 95% of the time a compliment will give u an opening for asking a number. I personaly use the compleatly random approch ... walk by her at a steady but not too fast pace ... check her out on the way up to her lock eye contact when u are with in 5feet dont look away untill u are directly even with her... SMILE..Grin or somthing that works for u, walk past about 3-5 steps then stop and turn around.. and throw your compliment... if u dont want to want like what u see .. keep going after words .. if u do ... u now have an in for a conversation... you know .. hello my name is..______.. I just had to tell u, it would have botherd me all day if i didnt... ect. ect. ect. this will build confidence.
- March 31st, 2008, 07:39 am
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landd3381 landd3381 is offline
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I've only recently gotten back into the dating scene as well, so I understand your confusion. It's certainly nothing like the way I left it! To reduce some of the pressure (admittedly self-inflicted!) I've begun looking at it as simply meeting new people and making new friends. It's too stressful to have to meet someone new and immediately begin sizing them up as a potential mate. Instead, I'm just making friends, and if any of my new friends interests me, then it's a pleasant surprise instead of a constant let-down when there just isn't a connection! Good luck with it, and remember: the key is to enjoy yourself!
- April 5th, 2008, 01:56 am
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Joy 2bwith Joy 2bwith is offline
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HI - well you must know that on-line dating is a great way to get to know more people who are interested in a relationship on some level. It is worth the investment.

After that - stay open to the suggestions of friends - go out even when it would be easier to chill at home - venture into areas that you have some interest in - take a class - read your local paper for more unique activities in your area, these are apt to attract more unique people who might interest you. Your special person is out there - probably closer than you can imagine.
- April 5th, 2008, 05:42 am
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Marie123 Marie123 is offline
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Hi there, I'm trying hard to get back into dating after getting out of a 10 year relationship but I too am disgusted with the shallowness. If I read one more profile that makes me jump out of my seat with excitement only to find at the "bottom what I want in a woman is a size 0" I'm going to SCREAM!!! I just don't get it! They want a real woman but are only willing to look at modelswho are mostly superficial and have to be to fit into this type of world. ...I'll apologize in advanced tothose who don't fit the sterotype....

I'm open and honest and have SO much to offer,butthey don't look twice or even bother to respond. That's right, I'm no size 0, but I'm a phenominal woman!! I wanted to used EH to avoid the sterotypes and be matched based on my beliefs, not solely on my appearance. I'm realistic that the way we look does matter, but why is it the only thing?

My decision isto give this 3 month to see what happens...Then I'll feel I've given it a solid try. I'm responding to the matches and not waiting for them to. I send off that first set of questions and feel that if the right person comes along, they will respond back. It's hard to be positive when you get no response or closed for "other" (why do they have that response anyway...for cowards who can't tell the truth?!)

Anyway, hang in there and keep trying...if you do nothing, you'll get just that. You have to be willing to put yourself out there and be willing to accept the rejection that sadly comes along with dating. It's hard to find that one "just right" person for you. If it was easy, these sites wouldn't be here!! Anything worth fighting for is worth having in the long run! Keep the faith and keep looking, she's out there! I know my prince is out there somewhere!
- April 5th, 2008, 08:48 am
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argytunes argytunes is offline
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argytunes Misty and I are still trying to find a house closer to the beach

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dakrt360a...

The only way to "test the water temperature" is TO GET YOUR FEET WET!

This doesn't mean you have to swim in several lakes, ponds or streams before you find a fish who is compatible? But the only way to let others know about yourdesire to get back into open water is to (pardon the reference) expose yourself a little bit to the feminish (aka female fish) you're attracted to....!

argytunes
- April 5th, 2008, 02:14 pm
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chrlesmd chrlesmd is offline
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landd3381 wrote :
I've only recently gotten back into the dating scene as well, so I understand your confusion. It's certainly nothing like the way I left it! To reduce some of the pressure (admittedly self-inflicted!) I've begun looking at it as simply meeting new people and making new friends. It's too stressful to have to meet someone new and immediately begin sizing them up as a potential mate. Instead, I'm just making friends, and if any of my new friends interests me, then it's a pleasant surprise instead of a constant let-down when there just isn't a connection! Good luck with it, and remember: the key is to enjoy yourself!
That's sound advice. If you look at from a standpoint of getting back into the dating world, you'll ultimately put more pressure on yourself. But if you approach it from a standpoint of meeting people ina social context, then it'll probably go a lotsmoother.
- April 5th, 2008, 11:42 pm
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landd3381 landd3381 is offline
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chrlesmd wrote :
landd3381 wrote :
I've only recently gotten back into the dating scene as well, so I understand your confusion. It's certainly nothing like the way I left it! To reduce some of the pressure (admittedly self-inflicted!) I've begun looking at it as simply meeting new people and making new friends. It's too stressful to have to meet someone new and immediately begin sizing them up as a potential mate. Instead, I'm just making friends, and if any of my new friends interests me, then it's a pleasant surprise instead of a constant let-down when there just isn't a connection! Good luck with it, and remember: the key is to enjoy yourself!
That's sound advice. If you look at from a standpoint of getting back into the dating world, you'll ultimately put more pressure on yourself. But if you approach it from a standpoint of meeting people ina social context, then it'll probably go a lotsmoother.
Why, thank you Charles! I have a thing for your name, by the way; it's really close to my own! And you seem relatively normal except for your penchant for taking abuse from all the chicks on here... What's up with that?
- April 6th, 2008, 02:48 pm
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