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Lindac7 Lindac7 is offline
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LizziePooh wrote :

Lindac7 wrote :


I agree with Jayjay, but I also believe that Tkaster hasn't spent much time here on these boards. This is his first post. If he got to know what so many of the women here are like, I think he'd change his tune pretty quickly.


I'm a Type 5, by the way.


Linda >'='<





Jinx...you owe me a coke!
HUH???! Was there a bet of some kind?


I'm confused.





Linda >'='<
- January 11th, 2009, 08:18 pm
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Jeanniec Jeanniec is offline
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Based on your “subtypes”, I would be the Type 3, the “Closer”. Except, I usually close without answering my match request for communication, based on photos and what he shared or didn’t share on his profile. While I understand photos/profile does not share everything about the person, sometimes what they communicate on one page is telling. I’ve closed maybe 900 matches in 5 months; I’ve closed Teachers, Salesmen, Firemen, Attorneys, Doctors, Directors, as well as CEO’s. Sometimes it’s physical… sometimes it’s the different set of world-views and values… other times it’s the lack of common interests… and/or because he couldn't spell basic elementary words. Is there a possibility I may close on someone great? Yes, but filtering also keep away men I don’t want to date or see a future with. Just because I close does not mean you’re not great, it just means based on your profile/photo, I am not interested. You state a guy like you feels guilty for actually closing a match? I am certain the last thing a man wants, is for me to communicate and date him because I’m feeling guilt and sorry for him. Each match I close receives the same reason, “I want to pursue other matches on EH”. The last thing I want to do is lead someone on… proceed to open communications… then meet in person only to reject them and they’re wondering what went wrong… I don’t want to waste your time or mine. So what may be brutal to you is what I consider to be… being respectful, honest, and direct. What some may consider closed-minded… I consider having boundaries and preferences.
- January 12th, 2009, 01:53 am
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flowerchild66 flowerchild66 is offline
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Jeanniec wrote :

Based on your “subtypes”, I would be the Type 3, the “Closer”. Except, I usually close without answering my match request for communication, based on photos and what he shared or didn’t share on his profile. While I understand photos/profile does not share everything about the person, sometimes what they communicate on one page is telling. I’ve closed maybe 900 matches in 5 months; I’ve closed Teachers, Salesmen, Firemen, Attorneys, Doctors, Directors, as well as CEO’s. Sometimes it’s physical… sometimes it’s the different set of world-views and values… other times it’s the lack of common interests… and/or because he couldn't spell basic elementary words. Is there a possibility I may close on someone great? Yes, but filtering also keep away men I don’t want to date or see a have a future with. Just because I close does not mean you’re not great, it just means based on your profile/photo, I am not interested. You state a guy like you feels guilty for actually closing a match? I am certain the last thing a man wants, is for me to communicate and date him because I’m feeling guilt and sorry for him. Each match I close receives the same reason, “I want to pursue other matches on EH”. The last thing I want to do is lead someone on… proceed to open communications… then meet in person only to reject them and they’re wondering what went wrong… I don’t want to waste your time or mine. So what may be brutal to you is what I consider to be… being respectful, honest, and direct. What some may consider closed-minded… I consider having boundaries and preferences.
+1
- January 12th, 2009, 03:51 am
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Songryder Songryder is offline
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tkaster, wrote :

Dear Women, Ladies, Girls (whatever your title),


I am a guy. I am an honest guy. I have even been told that I am not an ugly guy. And... I've even lost some weight so I'm not an extremelyheavy guy (6'1" - 210 lbs).


But let's talk about e-harmony/dating sites. There are four kinds of women on e-harmony or match dot com or whatever. The first (Type 1)and worst are the serial daters who are just looking for the next date. They are the ones on there year after year. Same faces. same stories. So right off we will not bother with them anymore. Except to say they are probably the equivalent of the guys looking to "hook up" for one niters. Shame one you guys.


Type 2 - the non-responders. To be sure there are many with profiles on eharmony or others who are not even checking for communications anymore. But there are some that check, but don't respond and just wait for the guy to close any communication. Now ladies, as a guy, I can tell you, if we get an invitation to talk to a woman we actually think about it. No matter how far from our ideal type she may be. And if we end communication we actually THINK about it before we do. Considering the other persons feelings.


Type 3 are "the Closers" - these are the women who you either communicate with for a bit or not but they hit that close button like the release button on a guillotine. Honestly, you women are unbelievably BRUTAL. A guy like me feels guilty before they hit the close communication button. Even if the woman is so far from someone they would consider as a potential future "partner". By partner I mean long term girlfriend, wife, etc...


Then we have the Type 4. These are the women who are not telling the truth. They are showing you pictures of them in 1976 or telling you the day day before they meet you, "um... well I'm a little heavier than I told you".


Maybe, there is a Type 5 out there. This would be the one who is not a serial dater, actually responds to your questions, does not hit the close button because they are really not interested in meeting someone anyway and.... heaven forbid, they tell the truth.....


Hey, I know guys will tell women anything they want to hear. You know why? Either they are hook-up guys or guys who really just want to meet a woman.


The real "honest" ones women claim to be looking for? They are out there But my guess is you hit the "guillotine" button before you ever meet them.


My suggestion? Ladies, be kinder and gentler and you might just find the guy you are looking for.... online...
What you've written is all gender interchangeable. It's not just some women who fit these "profiles" if you will, but some men as well.


I think these are common threads that weaves through these online dating sites and it's just the nature of what people commonly find, because you're not the only one who has touched on these subjects with exception of laying them out one after the other.


It's unfortunate but I've learned from other people's experiences and some of my own regarding this that if you're going the online dating route, it's going to take a lot of time to find what you're looking for . . . and there's no guarantees you will at all.


I've stopped using EH or any other site like this as a vehicle to find someone. I have a better chance out in the world, and it's not easy out there either, but I'm face to face with men I encounter and I don't have to stress out about wondering if they are who they say they are on so many levels and I can "sense" a person better this way. It's too much of a crap shoot screening all these personalities.


So, if you're not happy with the results, try clicking your heels and going back to Kansas. You might find what you're looking for in your own backyard.


- January 12th, 2009, 03:58 am
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Aussie_Devilette Aussie_Devilette is offline
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I'd be a Type 5 IF I actually got any matches.
- January 12th, 2009, 05:07 am
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ntice101 ntice101 is offline
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actually guys tk does have a good point, so what if he hasnt been on e-h for long. he's been around on other dating sites enuff to write that post up. kudos 2 u man. finally sum1 other than myself whos upfront and honest abt the scene tht online dating really is.


"The last thing I want to do is lead someone on… proceed to open communications… then meet in person only to reject them and they’re wondering what went wrong… I don’t want to waste your time or mine. So what may be brutal to you is what I consider to be… being respectful, honest, and direct. What some may consider closed-minded… I consider having boundaries and preferences."


fair enuff jeannie that u have to be really honest, but then how is it that youre on a dating site and suddenly youre closing how many.......900 matches in 5 mths??? are you even looking, or you just like rejecting guys, seriously? 900 guys..... wow.


hey tk, i found your type 6: shes right here above my post, the picky one. lol. those who just join dating sites just for a laugh and not neccessary looking yet they nit pick each and every lil detail on a person such as 'he's too short', 'too average', 'too far away' etc.


other than that tk, thats a good point. ladies, as he just said, you say you wanna find a nice outgoing down to earth nice guy, then start paying attention, give sum guys a break. helps to be nice.
- January 12th, 2009, 06:42 am
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Ladyairdragon Ladyairdragon is offline
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Well I have closed people but mainly for distance or they talked about drugs on their page... I have sent a mass amount of questions, and nothing I havn't even been closed nada nothing... And the guy I have a date with isn't even from here. So ouch to my W_allet
- January 13th, 2009, 08:52 pm
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parker6014 parker6014 is offline
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tkaster, wrote :

Dear Women, Ladies, Girls (whatever your title),


I am a guy. I am an honest guy. I have even been told that I am not an ugly guy. And... I've even lost some weight so I'm not an extremely heavy guy (6'1" - 210 lbs).


But let's talk about e-harmony/dating sites. There are four kinds of women on e-harmony or match dot com or whatever. The first (Type 1) and worst are the serial daters who are just looking for the next date. They are the ones on there year after year. Same faces. same stories. So right off we will not bother with them anymore. Except to say they are probably the equivalent of the guys looking to "hook up" for one niters. Shame one you guys.


Type 2 - the non-responders. To be sure there are many with profiles on eharmony or others who are not even checking for communications anymore. But there are some that check, but don't respond and just wait for the guy to close any communication. Now ladies, as a guy, I can tell you, if we get an invitation to talk to a woman we actually think about it. No matter how far from our ideal type she may be. And if we end communication we actually THINK about it before we do. Considering the other persons feelings.


Type 3 are "the Closers" - these are the women who you either communicate with for a bit or not but they hit that close button like the release button on a guillotine. Honestly, you women are unbelievably BRUTAL. A guy like me feels guilty before they hit the close communication button. Even if the woman is so far from someone they would consider as a potential future "partner". By partner I mean long term girlfriend, wife, etc...


Then we have the Type 4. These are the women who are not telling the truth. They are showing you pictures of them in 1976 or telling you the day day before they meet you, "um... well I'm a little heavier than I told you".


Maybe, there is a Type 5 out there. This would be the one who is not a serial dater, actually responds to your questions, does not hit the close button because they are really not interested in meeting someone anyway and.... heaven forbid, they tell the truth.....


Hey, I know guys will tell women anything they want to hear. You know why? Either they are hook-up guys or guys who really just want to meet a woman.


The real "honest" ones women claim to be looking for? They are out there But my guess is you hit the "guillotine" button before you ever meet them.


My suggestion? Ladies, be kinder and gentler and you might just find the guy you are looking for.... online...
I think about hittiing that close button before I do. Also if a guy ask to communicate with me, I WILL give him a chance. So there are more types than the ones you listed.
- January 13th, 2009, 08:59 pm
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tkaster tkaster is offline
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Ladyairdragon wrote :

Well I have closed people but mainly for distance or they talked about drugs on their page... I have sent a mass amount of questions, and nothing I havn't even been closed nada nothing... And the guy I have a date with isn't even from here. So ouch to my W_allet
The two main reasons I will close a match is distance or non-response. I give the non-responders 14 days. I'll send a nudge if available but otherwise you have to figure they are not active members or not interested.
- January 13th, 2009, 09:00 pm
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