DivasNeedLoveToo is offline DivasNeedLoveToo Post #61  January 10,2009, 9:51pm
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tbesq,424320 wrote :
scorpio,424312 wrote :

tbesq,424051 wrote :


And things were going so peacefully today...good luck Divas! Just keep in mind, race is a sensitive issue, and I don't know if you'll get responses with your desired level of sincerity.* You have to compare what you read here with your own dating experiences and see if it makes sense.


*


".......race is a sensitive issue"


An understatement, Tbesq, an understatement.* It is a subject definitely not for the faint of heart.
Yes, not sure if the OP had been a participant in those previous race-related boards, so I just wanted to give her an idea of what to expect.
I actually went and read trough some of the previous discussions around this topic. Yawza! People really think this way in 2009? It was actually quite amusing to see all of the "I'm not a racist but....." comments. You are a very insightful young man Mr. TBESQ

People are bizzare, and interesting, and quite scary. But hey, we live in America, and people have every right to think what they think no matter how moronic.........
 
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Emm is offline Emm Post #62  January 10,2009, 9:53pm
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SleeplessinTrenton,424882 wrote :

I've had black friends all of my life, Ilive in a racially integrated area, and I socialize a lot with black people. I'm completely comfortable being the only white male present. I've had a wide range of really nice interactions with black women, including some wonderful dates. I'm religious, andI particularly appreciate how many of the black women who I know are devoted Christians. Far more of the black women who I know are culturally conservative than are the white women who I encounter.I'm culturally conservative,too. In answer to Ms D's original question, I hope that I have future opportunities to date nice, culturally conservativeblack women.
Pleasedefine the statement "culturally conservative black women". I've never heard this before. Is it like a conservative politician?
 
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tbesq is offline tbesq Post #63  January 10,2009, 10:01pm
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DivasNeedLoveToo,425015 wrote :

tbesq,424320 wrote :
scorpio,424312 wrote :


tbesq,424051 wrote :


And things were going so peacefully today...good luck Divas! Just keep in mind, race is a sensitive issue, and I don't know if you'll get responses with your desired level of sincerity. You have to compare what you read here with your own dating experiences and see if it makes sense.





".......race is a sensitive issue"


An understatement, Tbesq, an understatement. It is a subject definitely not for the faint of heart.


Yes, not sure if the OP had been a participant in those previous race-related boards, so I just wanted to give her an idea of what to expect.

I actually went and read trough some of the previous discussions around this topic. Yawza! People really think this way in 2009? It was actually quite amusing to see all of the "I'm not a racist but....." comments. You are a very insightful young man Mr. TBESQ People are bizzare, and interesting, and quite scary. But hey, we live in America, and people have every right to think what they think no matter how moronic.........
Not everyone walked away satisfied, but it was a necessary and insight discussion on race issues. The biggest insight came from people (white people) who were honest about their reasons for not dating outside their race. The majority of the remainder of the comments were just cop-outsand excuses, in my opinion. My favorite was "I don't choose toexclude black men (women) because I know they wouldn't want to date me."


I think this country is moving at a glacial pace regarding race issues, but we'll get there. By the time the next generation arrives, it will be a non-issue.
 
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simpletonHeart70 is offline simpletonHeart70 Post #64  January 10,2009, 11:05pm
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tbesq,424948 wrote :

I think he just means he doesn't want a woman who embodies many of the "Angry Black Woman" mannerisms often perpetuated by the media. He wants to put himself in a position where her skin color is a non-issue. He's probably not willing to compromise what he wants, but would be willing to date a woman matching his criteria regardless of her race.


Not condoning the entirety of his post, just hoping to shed some light on what he's trying to say -- he's probably walking on eggshells right now.
Not really the angry black woman thing. Just a cultural thing. I could go into detail but I would only offend people.





To sum it up, I find black women physically attractive but it would have to be a situation that I was comfortable with. And since the situation I'm looking for is very rare...at least where I live, I just don't bother pursuing it at all.





I posted another response that got vaporized. So that's why my response to the above questions is missing.
 
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scorpio is offline scorpio Post #65  January 10,2009, 11:14pm
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tbesq,424948 wrote :

Braveslady,424903 wrote :


scorpio,424858 wrote :


simpletonHeart70,424763 wrote :


I agree with Tbeaq, you are mostly going to see people with upbeat generalizations like "sure why not?". And "what do you mean by black?".





I'll be honest, I avoid black women and I'm a white dude. It's not that I don't find black women attractive, in fact I find them very attractive. I live in a metro area that has a huge population of black people so I have a lot of interaction with folks of color. In fact my last job was a business with 90% black women.





My main issue is culture. I would date a black woman that acted....white. And had mostly white friends. I'm just not comfortable being submerged in black culture. And where I live there is a bit of angst between whites and blacks so that doesn't help.





Often I'll see an incredibly good looking black woman and she looks like she'd be a very bright woman. And then I hear "no you dint" and I lose faith. I've met a lot of black women that I've hit it off with. In college I dated a black girl and she was beautiful and very bright, but I just felt out of place with all of her black friends.





So I would date a black girl, but she'd have to be a rarity. So that's why I typically avoid black women. I just don't want to deal with the culture issues. It's the same with women that are immigrants and have some non-American cultural perspective. That's fine to be that way, but I don't want to have to deal with it in a relatioinship.





fwiw.





Okay. I respect your right to an opinion regarding this topic. But I would like to point out that improper usage of English is not necessarily indicative of one's culture. Nor is improperusage ofEnglish necessarily indicative of one's intelligence, i.e., brightness.It seems to me that one's level of education would be more of a determining factor in that area. And brightness and education are not the same.


Do you feel a woman is not bright if she mispronounces a word? Also, how do you determinehow bright a woman is by looking at her?Would you date a white woman who mispronounces a word? How does a black woman "act" white? Finally, how would you define a non-American cultural perspective?


These are not rhetorical questions. I am asking them to open dialogue toward a decent discussion.The thinking presented in your post raises these questions in my mind.


+100


Thank you, thank you, thank you, I felt my face getting hot for half a second.


I have to say it, but "act white" is offensive. What in the world does that mean? I will not say anymore on the matter, still a little hot.


I think he just means he doesn't want a woman who embodies many of the "Angry Black Woman" mannerisms often perpetuated by the media. He wants to put himself in a position where her skin color is a non-issue. He's probably not willing to compromise what he wants, but would be willing to date a woman matching his criteria regardless of her race.


Not condoning the entirety of his post, just hoping to shed some light on what he's trying to say -- he's probably walking on eggshells right now.
Tbesq, Okay, I'll grant him that, buthow in the world did you glean all that from his post?


I tend to post in adirect manner that sometimes puts people on the defense, when my intentions are simplyto clarify and open real dialogue. I honestly don'tunderstand what he's saying and would like further discussion. But I think there aresome people who are not able to discuss racial concerns in an honest manner.


I think some people are intimidated when you ask questions because it forces them to produce answers. It really is not necessary for anyone to "'walk on eggs."
 
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wiitwd2 is offline wiitwd2 Post #66  January 10,2009, 11:31pm
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simpletonHeart70,425093 wrote :

tbesq,424948 wrote :


I think he just means he doesn't want a woman who embodies many of the "Angry Black Woman" mannerisms often perpetuated by the media. He wants to put himself in a position where her skin color is a non-issue. He's probably not willing to compromise what he wants, but would be willing to date a woman matching his criteria regardless of her race.


Not condoning the entirety of his post, just hoping to shed some light on what he's trying to say -- he's probably walking on eggshells right now.


Not really the angry black woman thing. Just a cultural thing. I could go into detail but I would only offend people.





To sum it up, I find black women physically attractive but it would have to be a situation that I was comfortable with. And since the situation I'm looking for is very rare...at least where I live, I just don't bother pursuing it at all.





I posted another response that got vaporized. So that's why my response to the above questions is missing.
I think I understand what you're saying. You would date a black woman if you didn't have to assimilate into a culture you were unfamiliar with in order to do so. Perhaps a black woman who shares behaviors and speech patterns with the women you've dated previously?
 
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PY is offline PY Post #67  January 11,2009, 12:32am

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Aussie_Devilette,424739 wrote :

PY,424671 wrote :


Aussie_Devilette,424568 wrote :


Japanese don't like "round eyes" much, try marrying a Greek to a Turk and so on. But it is not the same as what has existed in the USA.





Oh that's very interesting!!! I always thought (at least what I've heard)...Asians actually LIKE round eyes....because we have almond shaped eyes (or slanted lol however you wanna call it)...unless maybe a lot of them wanted to stick within their own group...


I've always wondered about inter-racial relationships in Aussie...especially you know where I'm from AD......I've been told some universities there even teach my native language there.


So maybe if I move to Aussie....my luck will change LOL....you think a good Aussie girl would be a good match for me?


PY, I was trying to find an article about Asian men dating in Australia for you, and I can't find it for the life of me - I've been searching the The Age archives - I know it is there somewhere, but they don't have a search feature on their blog section.


I think you'd be a very good match for an Aussie girl!
Whooohoooo!!!
 
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angelofmerci is offline angelofmerci Post #68  January 11,2009, 3:48am
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legend29,424405 wrote :

However, it is often sad whenI talk to my black and hispanicfemalefriends, and they espouse the notion that dating out of their race is an improbablility...I tell them that they are pigeon-holing thmselves into a position that many black men most obviously don't hold to!


*sigh*...life is so strange!
I loved your reply. I once dated a girl who was a member of Mensa, the group with the IQ in the top 2% in the Nation. She normally would not date anyone outside of her group as she felt non members did not have anything to offer her. I pointed out that the world was full of people who were just as intelligent as Mensa members but who did not feel the need to be tested or tobelong to a special group. The same holds true to dating outside of your race. I feel why limit oneself because of skin color, its only skin deep, but you could miss the person that is truly right for you.
 
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angelofmerci is offline angelofmerci Post #69  January 11,2009, 4:12am
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Although I am married over the years I have seen and gotten to know some black women that had I been single I would have asked out on a date. As a teen I had a crush on Dianne Ross of the Supremes. In my late 20's I would drool every time I saw Lola Falana. To my way of thinking skin color does not matter. What matters to me is intelligence, can she carry on a good discussion on a wide range of topics, does she use good English, is she the clingy type or independent type(love independence) and does she enjoy going to plays, concerts and is she willing to climb on the back of my motorcycle(if she does not have her own bike). My parents taught me tolook at the person not their skin color. When I was going to high school our schoolonly had five black students. Unfortunately none of them were in any of my classes therefore I did not get the opportunity to interact with any of them except going and coming from class. Today I look back at this and consider my loss. I could have learned so much from them.


When I saw this topic I figured that the only people responding to it would be white men. I was thrilled to see that women of color and some men of color joined in the discussion. I love it!!
 
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kayteedid is offline kayteedid Post #70  January 11,2009, 4:30am
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DivasNeedLoveToo,424684 wrote :

Aussie_Devilette,424548 wrote :


KRA_Z_1,424539 wrote :


Women are beautiful reguardless of race, so of course I would be willing to dateawomanwho isn't white. Race isn't an issue with me, I'm just looking for someone who is beautiful to me inside and out...so long as she can deal with the fact that I can't dance to save my life!!! My brother is married to a Korean woman, and my whole family welcomed her right in. However, I've never dated a woman that wasn't white....not by choice, I just haven't ever been around women of other ethnicities that are SINGLE!!!!


Don't let the dancing worry you - I've seen some very bad dancers of EVERY ethnicity .


I'm so loving this discussion. I'm the first to admit, that I was afraid of the unknown, but I'm open to growing as a person and seeking the Love of real man, who will cherish me. I'm pretty cute, and take pride in my appearance. Don't let the screen name fool you, I'm soooo not high maitenence. My handle comes from the perception that black women are difficult. We're not (that much). We just play the hand we were dealt, and yes, I'm no non-seanse, and certainly not easy. But Hey, nothing worth while in life is. So I'm good, and ready toexplore. Hope yall can handle a bubble bottom . Its on. What the heck, I might even start listening to Heavy Metal.
You're attitude is refreshing. It's nice to hear such openess. I have enjoyed reading this thread and appreciate you having started it.


I think you have offered a gentle 'challenge' ( I don't know if that is the right word to use) to some of the members here to examine and broaden their horizons. It applies to both men and women.


Myself having been married for my entire adult life I never even had to think of whether I would or wouldn't date outside of my race. Now, well that's a different story. My answer is yes, without hesitation. The first man I ever dated after my marriage ended was an Hispanic man. I was attracted to the man not his ethnicity.


I have always felt comfortable with people of all races. I like who I like based on their attitude and how they treat me and others. This is also how I feel about whom I will date. It is the man I see not the color of his skin. If he treats me right and has compatible interests thats all that matters.


Regarding the bubble bottom, you'll find that men in general appreciate it regardless of their ethnicity. From one bubble bottomer to another
 
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