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tacking tacking is offline
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For some reason, I just now was able to find my post that I started. Little too late.


Anyway, by the looks of the advice on here (which I really appreciate) it looks like I may have made a mistake. I called her tonight (a day and a half after the first date) as I was headed out to do some work. I believe she was at her job so she didn't answer, but I left a short 15 secondor so voicemail, basically just saying hi, that I was heading to work, and that I hoped to hear from her soon. I did make sure it was non-chalant and light-natured, however.


So what convinced me to call? A couple of friends - who are in great relationships - did it this way and convinced to just go with it and call. ahh...


Otherwise, I haven't texted her or emailed hersince (other then the "fun time" texts after the date)....


What say you? Wait for her to call back?


(...and yes, you guys are correct, I tend to over analyze these things...)
- January 8th, 2009, 12:23 am
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Oregon_Coast_Guy Oregon_Coast_Guy is offline
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OOOO... all good till the text. Sorry friend, but I think you blew it. That was WAAAYYY too soon. Any confidence you portrayed was just shot out the window. You've now gone to looking fast-moving, desperate and clingy. You ALWAYS wait 2 days to call or text. ALWAYS. You've put the ball in her court way too soon and women don't always like that.


Women like wondering if the guy is into them. You've killed the mystery and gave her control. She might have said "I'll talk later," but it doesn't necessarily mean she will.


If it doesn't work out, take it as a lesson learned. Communication timing is as key as your attitude.
- January 8th, 2009, 12:45 am
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tbesq tbesq is offline
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Give your phone to a friend and tell him/her to hide it for a few days.


Just kidding. I'm not going to state what's already been said, but I'd wait and see if she contact you via phone or text. You've already done enough for a while. If you don't hear from her in about 4-5 days, then reach out for a second date. Just my $.02.
- January 8th, 2009, 12:51 am
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bluskies4ever bluskies4ever is offline
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I think it is a good sign that her text said she had fun too, and that she hugged you when you met.
- January 8th, 2009, 01:20 am
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angelofmerci angelofmerci is offline
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Tacking....Rule number 1 a short email right after the first date is okay but under no reason do you call her unless something has come up where you have to leave town. Once you are to the stage where she is coming over to your apartment or house then it is appropriate to call her the same night to make sure she got home safely.
- January 8th, 2009, 07:17 am
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Dude,


You should've nailed down date #2 before you left date #1. That's where you screwed up big time. So what if she had friends from out-of-town. Make the date for the following week for another lunch or a Friday night a week and a half from then after the friends have left.


And forget the BS waiting games the other posters play. I agree the last text the next day was overkill. But that's all history now. You called her and left a message and the ball's in her court now. Like tbesq says, if you don't hear back in a couple days try one more time but that's it.


Good luck.
- January 8th, 2009, 08:35 am
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marylovesplaya marylovesplaya is offline
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I wouldn't worry about it too much. If she likes you, she'll be glad you sent a text or a message, even if she is busy. I'd wait a few more days and then try to call her again. Don't you just hate this part of dating????
- January 8th, 2009, 08:53 am
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m8se69 m8se69 is offline
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The second text could have left a bad impression. But then again, I'm not into texting at all. All in all, it sounds like you both had a good time. If she was taken aback by the texting, the best thing you can do, is NOT text her again anytime soon.


In fact, don't call her until this weekend. She said she was busy. So let her be busy...but also let her wonder what you are thinking, and if you are going to call. Not that the game playing is getting my approval. But she said she had people in from out of town. She may be uncomfortable talking to you with them around. She may not have told them, and that's ok. She's just getting to know you, and you her.


Slow down, relax. And Good luck!!
- January 8th, 2009, 08:53 am
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chawks64 chawks64 is offline
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Whatever has been spoken on the phone or in person or texted is done. Right or wrong, it just is what it is.


You left a voicemail saying you hoped to hear from her. Let it go at that! If she wants to talk and isn't busy, she will call. If she doesn't, wait a few days or until you know her company is gone and maybe call one more time. But that's it. If she doesn't call after that, let it go.


BTW, I don't agree with never calling after the first date. Some of us kind of like it when a guy does, and doesn't mind us knowing he's interested. Just don't go overkill and cross the line into "desperate stalker."


- January 8th, 2009, 08:57 am
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robv_la robv_la is offline
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Tacking,


No don't call back. With the immediate texting and then calling back too soon, you are probably looking too desperate already.


If she's interested, she'll call back, but give her some time to do that...at least a few days.


You keep calling her back so much you're just ruining whatever chances you had with her.
- January 8th, 2009, 10:00 am
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