I’m a Hard-Core Feminist…so What?


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SierraMountainAir is offline SierraMountainAir Post #31  September 10,2008, 7:34am
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Fembot1121, wrote :

I’ve been running into a big problem now that I am back on the dating scene—the fact that I identify myself as a feminist. I’m not into man-bashing or preaching but I am a strong activist of the cause. I am a card-carrying member of many women’s rights organizations, I’ve participated in protests and contribute to feminists publications. Being a feminist is who I am and when I tell my dates this I get the following responses:


1) Why do you hate men?


2) You’re not ugly enough to be a feminist (hey, thanks)


3) What happened to you to make you so bitter?


4) Have you ever burned your bra?


I don’t understand why men can’t see that I’m not out to hate them, just date them! Withholding this information seems unreasonable; this is part of who I am.


PS—I was married for 12 years to a MAN.
(Someone resurrected this one from March which was long before I heard about this place so it is a new post for me.)








A few things here.








I was in college when this all got started, in 1970 so I have lived with it from day one. ANd one thing first off the bad: Equal pay for equal work, meant that there were that many LESS JOBS for men, in many areas. OK it is what it is,but many men define themselves by their worik, I am not one, but as a practical matter is halved all the jobs, slots in Med and Law school and all that.





Great opportunities for women, and a chance for them to succeed but hey: what about the men who got left behind, are you just going to throw them under the bus?





************








Feuding Latin gangs get into deadly fights over the issue of "disrespecting" one another, I learnt that from the SFPD gang task force. The Nortenos will go into Sureno territory and cross out Sureno graffiti there, and spray paint insults below, and below, it paint the words:





Y que








The translation literally means, "And so?" But it's a declaration of war. The translation REALLY means this and every gangbanger everywhere knows it:





AND, what the F*** are you going do DO about it?








A direct macho challenge!!!!








SO you come in here and are saying: "I am a hard core feminist. Y QUE?"








That is my read. Confrontational does not even begin to state how it sounds. Came and took away our jobs and then rubbed our face in it:





Y Que?











Sorry, may be political correct and perfectly acceptable feminist dogma





But don't expect any DATES unless maybe by somone seeing a challenge to "put you in your place"








Good luck. I think you will need it.








I prefer feminity to feminism. So solly.I had a lifetime of "feminism" [img]library/editor/plugins/emotions/img/smiley-yell.gif[/img]
 
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SierraMountainAir is offline SierraMountainAir Post #32  September 10,2008, 7:40am
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And, I HATE that stupid Helen Reddy Song
I am Woman" LOL[img]library/editor/plugins/emotions/img/smiley-yell.gif[/img][img]library/editor/plugins/emotions/img/smiley-tongue-out.gif[/img]





"Womyn"? Shome mishtake shurely!!!
 
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Celestialographer is offline Celestialographer Post #33  September 10,2008, 7:44am
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I have honestly tried to see Feminism as a good thing in life. And I have actively dated Feminists with the notion that they are equals and tried to have respect for Feminists. But at 39 years of age I now see Feminism as a destruction of the womans psyche. My last girlfriend was afrom Thailand. She was liberated open sexually and a hard working woman, who also owned her own Jewelry Manfacturing plant. She was married for long enough to have had two children. Her youngest daughter was just graduating from high school.


She had obtained her liberation and equality yet when I asked her if she knew about Feminism she replied. "What's That"? The moral is that a woman does not need to be a quote / unquote "Feminist" to obtain her Liberation and Equality.


In fact I now have the opinion that a true Feminist has not, in thier own minds, achieved liberation and equality yet. Therefore being a "Feminist" is actually evidence of a woman that has not achieved a belief in her own Equality and Liberation.


Therefore, I realized that I am looking for the woman who recognizes her equality and liberation, and has as a result reject the burden of Feminism.


Therfore, I am not looking for the Feminist anymore. So I have a tendency to not continue dating any woman that maintains her Feminist status.
 
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SierraMountainAir is offline SierraMountainAir Post #34  September 10,2008, 7:44am
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Fembot1121, wrote :

I’ve been running into a big problem now that I am back on the dating scene—the fact that I identify myself as a feminist. I’m not into man-bashing or preaching but I am a strong activist of the cause. I am a card-carrying member of many women’s rights organizations, I’ve participated in protests and contribute to feminists publications. Being a feminist is who I am and when I tell my dates this I get the following responses:


1) Why do you hate men?


2) You’re not ugly enough to be a feminist (hey, thanks)


3) What happened to you to make you so bitter?


4) Have you ever burned your bra?


I don’t understand why men can’t see that I’m not out to hate them, just date them! Withholding this information seems unreasonable; this is part of who I am.


PS—I was married for 12 years to a MAN.
^^^^^ Fortunately nobody here was unkind and immodestenough enough to ask why he divorced you
 
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dlc872 is offline dlc872 Post #35  September 10,2008, 8:22am
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I think that the problem a lot of us have with feminists is well described in Hoff Sommer's book "Who Stole Femism?", as I have discussed before. She defines two types of feminists - "Gender Feminists" and "Equity Feminists".


Gender feminists tend to be the stereotypical "radicals" who seek to eliminate any traditional gender roles and who view society as dominated by patriarchal structures that they believe need to be destroyed. Gender feminists tend to be quite misandric and are the ones who seek legalpreference for women (or "womyn" as they might prefer) in areas of employment, chil custody, divorce, etc., and are the ones who will object to male only organizations while promoting female only organizations. It always amazes me how these women will consider a "men only" gym as sexist and they'll protest and picket the place but then they will promote "women only" gyms at the same time. In my own company I took issue with the sexism inherent in an educational offering titled "Authentic Leadership for Women", open only to women, while not offering any equivalent course for men. In fact, when I asked for an equivalent course -- because there are legitimate issues that males need to deal with -- the department head that handles this area, a woman, was rather irritated with me and indicated that there were other leadership classes available but, of course, none that were specific to men, of course. The general sense, from a "gender feminist" idea is that men don't need this kind of help because of the natural advantage that they have in the world.


Gender feminists tend to see gender differences as learned, not innate (though in my view it's probably a combination of the two), there is a conspiratorial "patriarchy" of all men seeking to subjugate all women (and the corollary that men are inherently violent and need to be suppressed) and that all women are victims. Gender feminism dominates academia and "women's studies" courses are typically the best example of this sort of thinking; there was recently a controversy at one of the universities here in Boston about a women's studies professor that refuses to allow male students to take her classes.


"Equity feminists", as defined by Sommers, are where the vast majority of us fit in. This form seeks civil and legal equality for women rather than an elimination of traditional gender roles or a superior role for women. The feminist movement began this way and equity feminists would recognize that motherhood and family are honorable and fulfilling choices for women, for example, rather than subjugation by the patriarchy.


For the OP, the thing to be aware of is that when you state to a date that you are a strong feminist, the first view is what people think of. As a man who definitely is an equity feminist, if I sit down to dinner with a potential partner and she starts going off on this, I'm going to imagine that I'm going to hear a lot of man hating and devaluation of my role as a man. That's not something that I'm going to find attractive at all and I'm going to very quickly lose interest in being involved with you. Most men are going to feel the same way...just as you would if you sat down for a drink with me and I started spouting off about how I believe in male superiority and women need to learn their place and stay barefoot and pregnant and at home taking care of the kids and cooking dinner for me. You'd (rightly) call me a misogynist for that kind of thinking...and a lot of the activist feminists are plainly nothing more than misandrists, the flip side of that coin.


I'd stay off the subject at first, if I were you. Once we get to know each other a bit I think it would be great to talk about your thoughts and mine on the subject...we'd be beyond making snap, stereotypical assumptions based on labels and realize that we had a lot of common ground to work from. But if you come at me right up front about being a strong feminist, I'm seeing "gender feminist" written all over your (attractive) face and I'm just not interested in hearing anymore in how my gender is the root of all that is evil in this world.
 
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SierraMountainAir is offline SierraMountainAir Post #36  September 10,2008, 8:31am
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^^^^^^





Hammer.





Nail.








Head.
 
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javajava5 is offline javajava5 Post #37  September 10,2008, 8:40am
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Dear DLC872,


Quite interesting what you wrote about the woman college professor in Boston, a feminist, who won't let the man at the college take her classes. That is unbelievable. I wonder what her rationale was? It must be a private school like Boston College as I can't imagine a public university could get away with that . . . .


I wonder if it's a male bashing kind of course . . . .


You know, it occurs to me ThePriestess mayhave went to Boston College, though I'm not sure. Wonder if he ever encountered that if he did go there.


Wonder if professor has tenure . . . .


JavaJava5
 
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LawyerDan is offline LawyerDan Post #38  September 10,2008, 8:42am
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Fembot1121, wrote :

I’ve been running into a big problem now that I am back on the dating scene—the fact that I identify myself as a feminist. I’m not into man-bashing or preaching but I am a strong activist of the cause. I am a card-carrying member of many women’s rights organizations, I’ve participated in protests and contribute to feminists publications. Being a feminist is who I am and when I tell my dates this I get the following responses:


1) Why do you hate men?


2) You’re not ugly enough to be a feminist (hey, thanks)


3) What happened to you to make you so bitter?


4) Have you ever burned your bra?


I don’t understand why men can’t see that I’m not out to hate them, just date them! Withholding this information seems unreasonable; this is part of who I am.


PS—I was married for 12 years to a MAN.
if it is an issue just start dating women.
 
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SierraMountainAir is offline SierraMountainAir Post #39  September 10,2008, 8:48am
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LawyerDan,252798 wrote :

Fembot1121, wrote :


I’ve been running into a big problem now that I am back on the dating scene—the fact that I identify myself as a feminist. I’m not into man-bashing or preaching but I am a strong activist of the cause. I am a card-carrying member of many women’s rights organizations, I’ve participated in protests and contribute to feminists publications. Being a feminist is who I am and when I tell my dates this I get the following responses:


1) Why do you hate men?


2) You’re not ugly enough to be a feminist (hey, thanks)


3) What happened to you to make you so bitter?


4) Have you ever burned your bra?


I don’t understand why men can’t see that I’m not out to hate them, just date them! Withholding this information seems unreasonable; this is part of who I am.


PS—I was married for 12 years to a MAN.


if it is an issue just start dating women.
Put on your Nikes.








The pitchfork-and-torch brigade is coming.
 
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dlc872 is offline dlc872 Post #40  September 10,2008, 9:12am
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javajava5,252795 wrote :

Dear DLC872,


Quite interesting what you wrote about the woman college professor in Boston, a feminist, who won't let the man at the college take her classes. That is unbelievable. I wonder what her rationale was? It must be a private school like Boston College as I can't imagine a public university could get away with that . . . .


I wonder if it's a male bashing kind of course . . . .


You know, it occurs to me ThePriestess mayhave went to Boston College, though I'm not sure. Wonder if he ever encountered that if he did go there.


Wonder if professor has tenure . . . .


JavaJava5
I checked and it was BC whichis a Catholic college. Mary Daly was the professor and she got away with it for 25 years --- which is unimaginable if it was the other way around. There was a two year legal disputestarting in 1999when she was terminated over the issue and she decidedto sue the college. The issue was raised in 1998 when two male students tried to register for one of her classes and she denied them admission but offered to teach them privately. Imagine a male teacher denying women admission to his class but offering to teach them privately.


She decided to retire in 2001 and the suit was settled out of court. I can't believe she got away with this blatant sex discrimination for so long. I also can't imagine the male bashing that took place in her class.
 
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