Oltes is offline Oltes Post #1  December 20,2008, 4:12pm
Oltes's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Dec 2008

Atlanta, GA

Posts: 36

See profile



I’m 39 and recently divorced, I was married since 20 yo and have been to a bar only once (!) with my girlfriend.


Do you, ladies, ever go to a bar by yourself? Or if you go there by yourself people would look at you funny? Is it even possible to meeta manwith high moral values there?


Where else would you meet someone other than the internet and church?


Thanks
 
  Reply With Quote
Aussiegirrl is offline Aussiegirrl Post #2  December 20,2008, 4:36pm
Aussiegirrl's Avatar

is always dreaming of perfection

Pacesetter

Joined: Sep 2008

Victoria, Australia

Posts: 294

See profile



Yes, have been to bars by myself,I admit it! I wouldn't really recommend it to anyone, unless you are very sure of yourself and have great self-confidence. Yes, it is easy to meet guys in bars, but most of them are not the ones you would date long-term. They are ok for conversation and maybe a nice dinner sometime, but often they are often either 1) drunkards, 2) looking for easy sex, 3) married or 4)involved in drugs and/or organised crime.


Other than the internet or church, you could try sporting clubs, dance classes, the gym, or dinner parties with friends (get them to invite people you don't know.)
 
  Reply With Quote
lucky173 is offline lucky173 Post #3  December 20,2008, 4:43pm
lucky173's Avatar

says "I like two kinds of men: domestic and imported"

Veteran

Joined: Feb 2008

NY

Posts: 1,510

See profile



Well, I grew up in the business and haveworked in bars, so maybe my take on things/comfort levelis a little different.


I've never had a problem going in to a bar by myself to have a drink, grab dinner, visit with an aquaintance, whatever. It's no different to me than any of the other things I would do by myself - dinner, movies, etc.


Yes, people will look at you funny. Some will. Others won't. Itmight nothave anything to do with being by yourself. Sometimes it has to do with the impression you're giving off. Your vibe. If you *feel* uncomfortable, or nervous or out of place, you're going to come across that way.


If you're relaxed and feeling social, you're going to come across that way as well. People may still look at you, but it may not be the same kind of looking.


There will also be those that just 'take issue' with what it means for a woman to go to a bar by herself.


Men who go to bars.... there's is no way of knowing whether they have high morals or low morals just by the fact they are at a bar. Everyday people go to bars! Great guys go to bars! Losers go to bars! All types go to bars, just that fact in and of itself is no indicator.


Personally, and maybe it's because of my time bartending, but I've always had a personal rule about meeting a man at a bar.Just like my rule about not dating anyone I meet through work.


Idid break those rules once. My last bf. I was on shift working and in he walked - two rules out the window at once. It didn't work out in the end, but he's a great guy, and I consider myself lucky to have spent theyears with him that I did. If I had followed my own rules... I would have missed out.


Personally, I wouldn't make it a habit to meet guys in bars.


Besides that and the internet - just go out and do things/get involved with things you like and enjoy. The people you meet will already have something in common!
 
  Reply With Quote
angelpoet is offline angelpoet Post #4  December 20,2008, 5:17pm
angelpoet's Avatar

is still out there

Sage

Joined: Aug 2008

CA

Posts: 15,922

See profile

keep a close eye on your drink...


do not leave it to use the lades room...


unfortunately we live in a day an age...


of tasteless drugs...


be very aware of those around you...
 
  Reply With Quote
Oltes is offline Oltes Post #5  December 20,2008, 5:23pm
Oltes's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Dec 2008

Atlanta, GA

Posts: 36

See profile

Aussiegirrl,387909 wrote :

Yes, have been to bars by myself,I admit it! I wouldn't really recommend it to anyone, unless you are very sure of yourself and have great self-confidence. Yes, it is easy to meet guys in bars, but most of them are not the ones you would date long-term. They are ok for conversation and maybe a nice dinner sometime, but often they are often either 1) drunkards, 2) looking for easy sex, 3) married or 4)involved in drugs and/or organised crime.


Other than the internet or church, you could try sporting clubs, dance classes, the gym, or dinner parties with friends (get them to invite people you don't know.)
Thank you... Thats good to know..... and I am very confident and a good looking.... I just dont want to waist my time with some wrongpeople and dont want to be fooled ))) Most likely bars are not for me...
 
  Reply With Quote
Oltes is offline Oltes Post #6  December 20,2008, 5:31pm
Oltes's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Dec 2008

Atlanta, GA

Posts: 36

See profile

lucky173,387920 wrote :

Well, I grew up in the business and haveworked in bars, so maybe my take on things/comfort levelis a little different.


I've never had a problem going in to a bar by myself to have a drink, grab dinner, visit with an aquaintance, whatever. It's no different to me than any of the other things I would do by myself - dinner, movies, etc.


Yes, people will look at you funny. Some will. Others won't. Itmight nothave anything to do with being by yourself. Sometimes it has to do with the impression you're giving off. Your vibe. If you *feel* uncomfortable, or nervous or out of place, you're going to come across that way.


If you're relaxed and feeling social, you're going to come across that way as well. People may still look at you, but it may not be the same kind of looking.


There will also be those that just 'take issue' with what it means for a woman to go to a bar by herself.


Men who go to bars.... there's is no way of knowing whether they have high morals or low morals just by the fact they are at a bar. Everyday people go to bars! Great guys go to bars! Losers go to bars! All types go to bars, just that fact in and of itself is no indicator.


Personally, and maybe it's because of my time bartending, but I've always had a personal rule about meeting a man at a bar.Just like my rule about not dating anyone I meet through work.


Idid break those rules once. My last bf. I was on shift working and in he walked - two rules out the window at once. It didn't work out in the end, but he's a great guy, and I consider myself lucky to have spent theyears with him that I did. If I had followed my own rules... I would have missed out.


Personally, I wouldn't make it a habit to meet guys in bars.


Besides that and the internet - just go out and do things/get involved with things you like and enjoy. The people you meet will already have something in common!
Thank you Lucky... it really helped... I feel like a newbornin this dating market )))


But I will figure it out. The thing is I dont really need someone, I just know that as good as a woman I am (and I think you too) I deserve not to be along.... if it make sense
 
  Reply With Quote
Oltes is offline Oltes Post #7  December 20,2008, 5:33pm
Oltes's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Dec 2008

Atlanta, GA

Posts: 36

See profile

angelpoet,387954 wrote :

keep a close eye on your drink...


do not leave it to use the lades room...


unfortunately we live in a day an age...


of tasteless drugs...


be very aware of those around you...
Gee.... I better stay away form bars... ))
 
  Reply With Quote
Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #8  December 20,2008, 5:47pm
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

Sage

Joined: Jan 2008

Orlando, FL

Posts: 18,865

See profile



Of course you are asking the ladies this question of going to bars alone and where you would meet good guys but I will join in also. I am fearless on here but scared to death in real life.


Back in my younger days (before the intenet) I went to bars/clubs to hang out with friends. I never approached any girls in the bars because girls that would be going to bars to meet guys were not the kind of girls I was looking for.


There are many places for you to meet guys other than the internet and bars. Besides those that have been mentioned you may want to take a night class at your local community college. You also can meet people while you are shopping at the grocery store or try some place like Home Depot, if you see me approach me


Happy hunting
 
  Reply With Quote
LavenderFields is offline LavenderFields Post #9  December 20,2008, 5:48pm
LavenderField…'s Avatar

is going to play w/RIF in NYC!

Community Leader Alum

Joined: Dec 2008

Lalaland

Posts: 1,076

See profile



Ottes, you may want to look at a wesbite called Meetup. Just search for it! It is a great way of meeting people (single and not) and interested in what you are interested with. I found some wonderful people there (including some new girlfriends). There are a lot of different things from hiking to dancing to book clubs to board games to even language. There is a debate club and a movie club which are also great!! In NY there are tons of expats of different countries so people join in to practice their 'new' language with some knowledgeable people. You may teach some guys a word in Russian or two! I am sure you can find a bunch in GA!!


You can also join lectures (there are many societies -mycology, science, politics- that offer them), also you can pick up a new hobby like painting or dancing or even playing an instrument. I know it is work, but is so much fun to be paying for something you like to do or learn and also find a guy who shares that passion.


Good Luck!
 
  Reply With Quote
D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #10  December 20,2008, 5:48pm
D_Lion's Avatar

- Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Joined: Aug 2008

NJ

Posts: 30,742

See profile

Bars are good cause there is booze. Thus, if you don’t find a good guy, you have not wasted your time.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply
  • Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2


« Would you steal a flirt? | Dating | When do you call someone after a first date? »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“It's important to understand the way a site works. Rigidly assuming / insisting that eH works likes all the others you're used to isn't utilizing the site functions to your best advantage. No.... ... ” –  Wiseman2

Join the “First contact on eHarmony, smile, questions, email?” discussion

“ If you have yet to meet, you don't know him or whether you two will form a connection. Connections formed over e-mail tend to be fantasies. You will see this echoed over and over by experienced ... ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “How do i recoonect with him again?” discussion

“ Then it's a bit premature to worry about being friend-zoned. The first step is to go out on dates! What specific steps did you try? How many women did you ask out in person? Did you buy a ... ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “For women to answer: How to avoid the friend zone” discussion

“ This is an old thread. She asked this in 2010. By now they are likely very exclusive or very over. ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “is there a reason to ask if we're exclusive?” discussion

“ I'm sure he wouldn't get that. And I can't be sure that was the actual message. But it sems kind of likely to me.” –  boomer_gal

Join the “Why am I not successful?” discussion

“Hi eccemuliere and welcome to eHA.On an internet forum like eHA, you're going to get a wide variety of responses; some you'll like and some you won't. It's best to focus on the ones that speak to ... ” –  Sassafras54

Join the “Being blown off, or something else?” discussion

“ Although I have ignored my gut at times, in hindsight it's always been right, in terms of recognizing bad choices. QUOTE] But once we realize our past mistakes, we can use our reason to clue us ... ” –  eccemuliere

Join the “Is Your Gut Leading - or Misleading You?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 3:49pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0