Ladies, if you please.. A moment or two of your time..


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glassonlyhalffull_fillit is offline glassonlyhalffull_fillit Post #41  December 20,2008, 11:58am
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Aussie_Devilette,387287 wrote :


glassonlyhalffull_fillit,387276 wrote :


either I didn't over analyze the scenarios or I'm desparate for 2nd dates lol


I'm desperate for 1st dates with anyone over 29 at the moment. I'm thinking you are lucky to be having the option of 2nd dates, so don't feel bad!


lol girl! I've had 2 dates andone 2nd in 4 mos...so allow me to re-think this, more 1st's NEEDED 1st


I'm thinking of put a fishing net trap in my fireplace, screaming "BRING IT ON SANTA!"
 
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blueeyedbrunette is offline blueeyedbrunette Post #42  December 20,2008, 12:11pm
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One of the most interesting interviews was with Jim Carey who was talking about his relationship with Jenny McCarthy-- they asked him why her-- he said it was all about timing and that he had dated gobs of women and the timing was not right- the women were fantastic-- the night they met he was in a good emotional place and open to it--all SHE had to do was walk up to him and engage and she did- on that level with a simple opening remark about how he looked so peaceful and happy... had it been any other time it would not have worked---- I think there is a great story here-- you never know where you'll meet someone (certainly not staying at home), its OK for a woman to approach and man and its all about timing and being open at that moment to letting someone in.
 
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TrissyCat is offline TrissyCat Post #43  December 20,2008, 1:15pm
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PY,387549 wrote :

I might be waking up from the wrong side of bed. May i just say again...all these rules and subtle games are just bs. Tired of it.
I agree with you, but life is a game. If you say the wrong thing at work, you getfired. If you say "exactly" what's on your mind, with your dates, you might be dumped.


Don't you think it is BALANCE? I may think a guy is fantastic, and want to be with him all the time, but if I portray that too soon, I will probably run him off and appear too clingy or too needy. I wish we could all be honest all the time, but life does not work that way.
 
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happyone222 is offline happyone222 Post #44  December 20,2008, 1:27pm
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I personally choose option number one. If you had a grea time then call her and let her know! The other option seemed a little too much like game play.
 
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rarangure is offline rarangure Post #45  December 20,2008, 1:53pm
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Aussie_Devilette,387287 wrote :

I'm desperate for 1st dates with anyone over 29 at the moment. I'm thinking you are lucky to be having the option of 2nd dates, so don't feel bad!
I'm with you Aussie....


When I start getting FIRST dates, I'll starting thinking about how/when to accept a second one!
 
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angelpoet is offline angelpoet Post #46  December 20,2008, 1:57pm
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PY,387549 wrote :

I might be waking up from the wrong side of bed. May i just say again...all these rules and subtle games are just bs. Tired of it.
OMG ... dear PY ...was I not thinking the very same thing?


when did it all get SOOOOOO complicated...


where is the mystery?


when did it become about expectation and not anticipation?


SIGH
 
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angelpoet is offline angelpoet Post #47  December 20,2008, 1:59pm
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omg are all comments no matter how benign being modded?


SIGH
 
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landstar59 is offline landstar59 Post #48  December 20,2008, 2:08pm
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I pick choice #1. Why wait when you had such a good time? Choice #2 is more like game playing...should I wait to call her, is it too soon to call her blah, blah, blah. Pick up the phone and let your fingers do the walking.
 
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Aussiegirrl is offline Aussiegirrl Post #49  December 20,2008, 3:29pm
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This is all very technical, isn't it? But I think you should wait over 24 hours at least, before you call a woman, after the first date. It gives both of you time to think about each other and how you feel. Only call within that first 24 hour period if you are totally sure that you completely like the woman and everything about her, because this is the impression you are going to give her.


If you take option 2 and wait until the Wednesday to call, then you shouldn't be vauge and sort of hint around wanting to take her out again. You should be direct, or she is going to think you are not worth her time!
 
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chawks64 is offline chawks64 Post #50  December 20,2008, 4:24pm
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pinz,387463 wrote :

.... hmm, well, I think it would be very sweet if the guy called the day after our first 'date' and said he'd had a GREAT time. He could then, during that BRIEF call, maybe fill in some stuff we started talking about the night before, like ..."you know, when you said 'A', well, I was thinking that 'B'...", followed by a less effusive suggestion for a 'follow up' ... meaning, he should be able to HEAR from her response whether or not she was as keen as he was ... if she is, then if he said something like he'd like to get together again soon if she's free .... and how about he calls her Wednesday around 6ish to sugggest a plan? (Calling AFTER 9 pm is not a good idea if you are SERIOUS about the girl....) He then calls Wednesday AT THE TIME HE SAID with something up his sleeve for Saturday OR SUNDAY, and let's her choose ...


Overall, this approach would work in his favour cuz she gets to 'muse' on him between Sunday and Wednesday ... She'll be DELIGHTED to hear from him on Wednesday and looking forward to what he might suggest ... She will likely choose the Saturday 'idea' cuz she is FREE and she too is KEEN ...


And there you are, bob's your uncle.


Tis all hypothetical of course, cuz each scenario/dynamic is different. One thing that is a MAJOR 'turn off' is when guys say they will call, but do not, or do several days after they'd indicate they would. It is the ultimate BASELINE 'test' that indicates his level of RESPECT for her ...
I wholeheartedly agree!


If you call the next day and want to see me that same next day, I'm going to think you don't have a life and you're going to be way too needy for me. But if you wait 2 or 3 days (or more), I'm going to assume you either didn't feel any sparks at all or your other dates didn't pan out and I'm the backup plan. No good.I want to feel special, just like everyone else.


If you call the next day and talk for a little bit, then say you'll call in a few days to set up something for the weekend, I'll know you're interested, you're respectful, and you have a life. That's absolutely the best answer.
 
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