Advice and Support from Thousands of Users Just Like You

Dating First-date jitters? Hoping for a second date? Moving on to a full blown relationship? Share your journey and advice here.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Pos65's Avatar

Pos65 is nowhere

Unregistered

Join Date: Nov 2008

Posts: 460

See profile



top 10 reasons women (or men for that matter) cheat:


1) Selfishness and immaturity
2) Selfishness and immaturity
3) Selfishness and immaturity
4) Selfishness and immaturity
5) Selfishness and immaturity
6) Selfishness and immaturity
7) Selfishness and immaturity
8) Selfishness and immaturity
9) Selfishness and immaturity
10) Selfishness and immaturity


- December 16th, 2008, 02:03 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#11   Reply With Quote
meg731's Avatar

meg731 is back in action!

Veteran

Join Date: Nov 2008

Posts: 1,150

See profile



I will agree that there is no excuse when it comes to cheating. You don't do it. Period. No matter what reason one may come up with as justification for their actions - it is and always will be inexcusable. If your needs aren't being met, then get out of the relationship and find someone new later.


THAT SAID, if you are cheated on I think (in many cases, not all) that it would be foolish to simply say, "I was cheated on. The end of this relationship is completely his/her fault. I am not, at all to blame."


Personally I would want to try to discern what was lacking in the relationship, and what I could have done better to help both of our needs to be met. Affairs rarely spring up out of nowhere and most people don't go looking for one. Which isn't to say that the spouse or SO should blame themselves if their partner cheats. It just seems that it would be wise to try to understand what part you played in the end of the relationship.


This article is interesting because it doesn't simply say "Women (or men) cheat because they are immature and care for no one but themselves." It gives ten, for lack of a better word, understandable reasons why someone would quit trying to resist temptation.
- December 16th, 2008, 02:39 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#12   Reply With Quote
tbesq's Avatar

Volunteer Community Leader

Join Date: Jun 2008

Posts: 3,309

See profile


WOW. I hope that this article is just a generalization of what this person is thinking, and not trying to pigeon- hole all women into this category. I was not brought up on this kind of crap, and I certainly wouldn't let my daughter's grow up to be like that at all, either. Whoever, winds up believing this is the truth, is in trouble, with a capital "T".


Please use some sense. That's all I am saying.
Now you know how us men feel whenever this man-bashing bs comes up.
- December 16th, 2008, 02:44 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#13   Reply With Quote
notyet's Avatar

notyet it's alive!

Virtuoso

Join Date: Nov 2008

Posts: 3,213

See profile

Pos65 wrote :

top 10 reasons women (or men for that matter) cheat:


1) Selfishness and immaturity
2) Selfishness and immaturity
3) Selfishness and immaturity
4) Selfishness and immaturity
5) Selfishness and immaturity
6) Selfishness and immaturity
7) Selfishness and immaturity
8) Selfishness and immaturity
9) Selfishness and immaturity
10) Selfishness and immaturity

yep!
- December 16th, 2008, 02:45 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#14   Reply With Quote
Pos65's Avatar

Pos65 is nowhere

Unregistered

Join Date: Nov 2008

Posts: 460

See profile



All 10 of these "reasons" fall under selfishness or immaturity. A mature person would TALK to their spouse/SO if any of these 10 appeared in their relationship. Selfishness is deciding what you are missing in a relationship is more important that what both of you might be missing in a relationship - and you want YOUR needs met - no matter the impact to anyone around you (spouse/SO, children).


Cheating is not the reason for the demise of the relationship, it's a symptom that something was already wrong. A mature person would try to figure out what's wrongand determine any potentialnext stepsINSTEAD OF involving a 3rd party.
- December 16th, 2008, 02:49 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#15   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

Pos65's Avatar

Pos65 is nowhere

Unregistered

Join Date: Nov 2008

Posts: 460

See profile

tbesq wrote :



WOW. I hope that this article is just a generalization of what this person is thinking, and not trying to pigeon- hole all women into this category. I was not brought up on this kind of crap, and I certainly wouldn't let my daughter's grow up to be like that at all, either. Whoever, winds up believing this is the truth, is in trouble, with a capital "T".


Please use some sense. That's all I am saying.


Now you know how us men feel whenever this man-bashing bs comes up.
Men get bashed? Where? What thread??
- December 16th, 2008, 02:51 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#16   Reply With Quote
Mr_Right's Avatar

Mr_Right says check out the new profile picture

Virtuoso

Join Date: Jun 2008

Posts: 2,874

See profile

Pos65 wrote :

tbesq wrote :




WOW. I hope that this article is just a generalization of what this person is thinking, and not trying to pigeon- hole all women into this category. I was not brought up on this kind of crap, and I certainly wouldn't let my daughter's grow up to be like that at all, either. Whoever, winds up believing this is the truth, is in trouble, with a capital "T".


Please use some sense. That's all I am saying.


Now you know how us men feel whenever this man-bashing bs comes up.


Men get bashed? Where? What thread??
LOL!!!
- December 16th, 2008, 02:58 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#17   Reply With Quote
liquidKi's Avatar

Quick Study

Join Date: Apr 2008

Posts: 127

See profile

lucky173 wrote :

Well I also should have added that I think the one reason why people cheat is because they're too coward to speak up and address honestly what's going on for them in the relationship - to themselves, with their partner, whatever. Whether it's feeling bored, unfulfilled, not having needs met, having first been cheated on, etc. etc.


Speak up, spit it out, deal with it and move on together. If you can't move forward together, move forward apart. Cheating isn't the answer.
Thanks lucky173. You said everything that needs to be said about this. Other than that, the article was idiotic. I'll paraphrase the whole [waaaay too long] article in 2 sentences:


"Girls are conniving, manipulative, and possessive. If you don't give them everything they want all the time and make sure that their happiness is the point of your existance then they might cheat on you." The sad part is that many girls (and guys) do think that it's the job of their significant other to make them happy. That is foolish..


I'll add that if we consider a romantic relationship like this as an agreement between two people to be just with each other (a common definition), then cheating is in fact removing yourself from the relationship whether words are spoken or not.


Worse than cheaters are those who tolerate cheating.
- December 16th, 2008, 03:00 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#18   Reply With Quote
LizziePooh's Avatar

LizziePooh has decided to put her luck to the test.

Virtuoso

Join Date: May 2008

Posts: 4,320

See profile



Just throwing this out there....For the people that have been cheated on, do you take any responsibility for your SO cheating onyou? Or is it just the cheater's fault?


I do not mean this as an accusation at anyone...I am just curious if people feelthat there is behaviour on their end or lack of behaviour on their end that could have led totheir partnerstraying??


- December 16th, 2008, 03:22 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#19   Reply With Quote
Pos65's Avatar

Pos65 is nowhere

Unregistered

Join Date: Nov 2008

Posts: 460

See profile

LizziePooh wrote :

Just throwing this out there....For the people that have been cheated on, do you take any responsibility for your SO cheating onyou? Or is it just the cheater's fault?


I do not mean this as an accusation at anyone...I am just curious if people feelthat there is behaviour on their end or lack of behaviour on their end that could have led totheir partnerstraying??

Cheating is a choice. A poor choice. No, I take no responsilbity for my exH deciding to cheat.


I take full responsiblity for my part of the demise of our marriage. But the cheating is all on him.


Let's sayI'm feeling unappreciated. Does his lack of appreciation for me mean that it's his fault I chose to find someone else instead of TALKING to him about it? If I chose to cheat instead of either tryiing to work things out or leave the relationship, then I am 100% to blame for that decision. There are other options. No one makes someone else cheat.
- December 16th, 2008, 03:33 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#20   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Lil lamb, I mentioned God in this topic for a number of reasons. 1. He is the Author of marriage. 2. The OP expressly emphasized God 3. The nature of this group. 4. A few more......... Perhaps ... ” – lil_lamb

Join the “Letter: National migration towards legalization of same-sex marriage” discussion

“Maybe I'm missing something too, but I had closed my match and she finally asked to reopen...but looks like if you've closed somebody before you can't reopen it as a non-paying member. Not that it ... ” – PY_2

Join the “Free Communication Weekend” discussion

“hmm. well, i've got a nasty streak of religiosity. as in, i believe chastity is not only for the unmarried. do i qualify? anyways, i'd say it's hard to talk about "advantages." being religious is, ... ” – lil_lamb

Join the “Gods will and sex vs abstinence for older folks” discussion

“I went on a short ( 4 nights 5 days) cruise to Alaska (we couldn't see Russia though) with someone I was dating/a lover last year.We were able to take our own booze BTW and there were smoking and non ... ” – RoxyRedhead

Join the “Is a Cruise a good Date?” discussion

“Each person has his or her own set of correct behaviors, depending on their age, rearing, socio-economic status, religious inclination, financial ability etc etc etc.We can't and shouldn't attempt to ... ” – RoxyRedhead

Join the “Ethical Considerations In Dating Multiple People” discussion

“This is one of those discussions where it is difficult to have a rational and logical exchange because emotions take over. I think what is being missed the most is that the real problem here is that ... ” – waltercl

Join the “Frustrated & Confused: Is He A Sexual Addict???” discussion

“I see it too, ScottK. I also get a kick out of the fact that you got one star for this thread and I believe it is probably because you dared to mention that you are not liberal. lol!! So much for the ... ” – bigfincat

Join the “Hypocritical Match?” discussion

“Don't worry, you'll get your chance! If you marry a family man and have children with him, by the time you are in your forties, you will have all of the power. The older you get the more power you ... ” – neardc

Join the “Men Have All the Power” discussion



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:51 am.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2009, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.3.0