Eating & fitness when in a relationship or dating


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DennisWisconsin is offline DennisWisconsin Post #1  December 14,2008, 1:18am
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I date women who are active. If they don't exercise in some fashion, we don't last long. I walk, roller blade, ice skate, practice martial arts, and have a membership to Bally's. I am open to bicycling, swimming, raquet ball, tennis, golf, rock climbing, whatever they want to do... but we must do something.


There are so many physical activities that people can do. Just choose one or two and have fun with it. It will help you quite smoking. Only 20 to 30 percent of Americans smoke now. By smoking you give up 70 to 80 percent of available men. I don't know the stats in Australia.
 
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Aussie_Devilette is offline Aussie_Devilette Post #2  December 14,2008, 1:39am
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Dennis, I have been known to say that I'll manage to give up smoking when I find the right oral replacement therapy. So far, it has been in short supply!


I walk, cycle, swim and am perfectly open to orienteering, bushwalking and a heap of other activies.
 
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ResidentWeirdo is offline ResidentWeirdo Post #3  December 14,2008, 1:40am
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I think it's really simple. I simply don't keep unhealthy foods in the house and don't agree to eat at fast food restaurants more than once a month. I have certan things I order at sit-down restaurants and I simply refuse to go to a restaurant I can't eat something at. Men either accept this or they don't. If they don't, "see ya."


I'm not going to give up my daily exercise because I'm in a relationship. He simply has to understand that. He gets me AFTER I work, exercise, and take care of my animals. Again, if he doesn't like it, "There's the door. Don't let it hit you on the way out." I've already done my time being obese....I'm not doing it again. I don't stay in shape to impress men. I do it for ME.
 
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DennisWisconsin is offline DennisWisconsin Post #4  December 14,2008, 2:01am
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Aussie_Devilette,379536 wrote :

Dennis, I have been known to say that I'll manage to give up smoking when I find the right oral replacement therapy. So far, it has been in short supply! I walk, cycle, swim and am perfectly open to orienteering, bushwalking and a heap of other activies.
Trouble is that you will probably only attract smokers. And they are less likely to be active.


I "accidently" dated a woman who smoked... She forgot to mention it...lol You can taste cigerettes on a person 12 hours after their last cigerette... Attraction is very quickly over shadowed...
 
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Aussie_Devilette is offline Aussie_Devilette Post #5  December 14,2008, 2:09am
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I'm perfectly happy to attract smokers. ALL the smokers I know are particularly active to counteract the effects of the habit.


What I do not like are non-smokers who say "Oh, smoking doesn't bother me in the least" then complain about the fact we smoke AFTER the event, so to speak. Huh? Make up your mind!


Anyway, this isn't the smoking thread, Dennis! *smile* Stop hi-jacking!
 
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kyjohng is offline kyjohng Post #6  December 14,2008, 2:16am
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Aussie_Devilette, wrote :

This the short version - eHa ate my original. Grrrrrrrrrrr


I was reading the thread about men dating women who don't like cooking. Apart from being surprised at the number of people who seemed happy to eat out almost every night, it did remind me of something I've been meaning to ask.


How do you juggle fitness and healthy eating with being in a relationship/dating? While most men seem to express a preference for in shape or slim women, I have read studies that have shown women put on weight when in a relationship when their SO is not into, not as into, or doesn't need to be into (due to level of physical activity at work) exercise. Apart grom men's preferences, I have my own preferences about how I like to be.


I have a desk job and often work long hours. 8+ hours at a desk doesn't use much energy. I am the type of body that needs to exercise to stay in shape given my job (nurses are the fittest profession, walking 10,000 stops or more a day).


I am also very health conscious when it comes to food. Eat out once or at most twice a week. No fried food, other than dry frying. Salads with balsamic dressing. Steamed vegetables and baked potatoes. No desserts, no cakes in my house other than at Christmas or birthdays. You get the picture, I think.


The matching criteria I find hardest to fill (apart from ethnicity and age) seems to a personal commitment to health and fitness, including healthy eating. I smoke and drink, I don't need any more unhealthy things! LOL


I don't want to find a partner and then ffind 6 months later he is encouraging me to skip the gym to watch a movie. I'd prefer someone to come with me, but understand if they don't need to, I just don't want to be discouraged.


How do others handle this? Have you found it difficult to?
Hello


Well, I tend to have the same problem - as a man of 50, it is VERY difficult to find anyone my age who has a real commitment to health and fitness. A lot of this is attributable to the culture of where I live (the MidWest). One of the qualitites I valued in my last g/f was eating reasonably (sometimes you got to have a little chocalate!) and working out regularly.


So, I don't date anyone who doesn't choose to live this way. Unfortunately, that means that I don't date much at all because there is such a small pool of candidates. It is not that I expect women in my age group to be some super slim model, but I am not into BBW. Not activley taking care of one's self (eating in a balanced way and working out regularly) is a deal breaker, a non starter.


On a side note, I am just amazed and appalled and how many young women and men (in their 20s) are heavy, and I mean really heavy. Again, I think that is an unfortunate part of the MidWest culture.


So, for you Aussie_Devilette, if the guy you are considering is not into a healthy lifestyle, do you really want to invest the energy into that relationship?


Good luck!
 
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Aussie_Devilette is offline Aussie_Devilette Post #7  December 14,2008, 2:26am
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This the short version - eHa ate my original. Grrrrrrrrrrr


I was reading the thread about men dating women who don't like cooking. Apart from being surprised at the number of people who seemed happy to eat out almost every night, it did remind me of something I've been meaning to ask.


How do you juggle fitness and healthy eating with being in a relationship/dating? While most men seem to express a preference for in shape or slim women, I have read studies that have shown women put on weight when in a relationship when their SO is not into, not as into, or doesn't need to be into (due to level of physical activity at work) exercise. Apart from men's preferences, I have my own preferences about how I like to be.


I have a desk job and often work long hours. 8+ hours at a desk doesn't use much energy. I am the type of body that needs to exercise to stay in shape given my job (nurses are the fittest profession, walking 10,000 steps or more a day).


I am also very health conscious when it comes to food. Eat out once or at most twice a week. No fried food, other than dry frying. Salads with balsamic dressing. Steamed vegetables and baked potatoes. No desserts, no cakes in my house other than at Christmas or birthdays. You get the picture, I think.


The matching criteria I find hardest to fill (apart from ethnicity and age) seems to a personal commitment to health and fitness, including healthy eating. I smoke and drink, I don't need any more unhealthy things! LOL


I don't want to find a partner and then find 6 months later he is encouraging me to skip the gym to watch a movie. I'd prefer someone to come with me, but understand if they don't need to, I just don't want to be discouraged.


How do others handle this? Have you found it difficult to?
 
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Aussie_Devilette is offline Aussie_Devilette Post #8  December 14,2008, 2:40am
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Hi Kyjohng,


I'm not considering anyone - lol - which explains my availability towrite lengthy posts. But no, I wouldn't put energy into that relationship, if there was one.


Basically, as I said in my opening post, being physically active is one of my must haves, but I DO recognise that if a man has a job where he is on his feet all day, does any lifting and so on, he is not going to necessarily need or want the level of physical activity during his off hours that I want.


I, on the other hand, am compensating for a sedentary job.


As for the younger generation being heavy KyJohng - go read the cooking thread - no-one prepares proper meals any more it seems. Although I stopped in at the Fitness group (from your profile) and it seems some do! LOL. So I was heartened.
 
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ResidentWeirdo is offline ResidentWeirdo Post #9  December 14,2008, 3:03am
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As to the younger generation being heavy, it's simple. We live in a more sedentary world, we're pressed for time (making fast food appealing), restaurants serve larger portions than they used to, our culture has become increasingly food-centric, and the foods we eat are pumped full of growth hormones. It's not rocket science.


Being fit in our culture takes hard work and some people aren't willing to do that. Being in shape is simple, but not easy. Once you commit to get up, move around, avoid fast food, and stop eating everything they put on your plate at Applebees, the weight will *usually* fall off.


I've talked about my weight loss on here before, but it's worth saying again. I've lost 48lbs in 4 months. Everyone I know is hounding me about "what's your secret", "how are you doing", "you must be starving yourself", "I've only lost 10lbs in 6 months, you must be taking something" etc etc. No one believes that I am honestly just eating well and exercising in moderation.


These same people claim "they've tried everything to lose weight", and then you notice that they bring fast food to work twice a week or have a bag of candy in their desk drawer or eat calorie-rich dishes in the cafeteria like lasagna or enchiladas or whatever the entre of the day is or they load up on white rice or pasta etc. I eat various entrees myself but I eat them in small portions and I prepare them myself with low fat ingredients. I avoid those white grains and overly processed foods. It's just not that complicated.


That said, in Aussie's case, being a smoker does complicate things. Most health-conscious people frown upon tobacco and alcohol use, making you more likely to end up with unhealthy individuals.
 
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myharleysgotpink is offline myharleysgotpink Post #10  December 14,2008, 3:46am
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To answer your question directly, enjoying a fit lifestyle isa preference just as you might enjoy music or the arts. If someone truly does NOT share your passion, you will get signals pretty early on.Should you not pick up on them or they hide them well, you may not want a relationship with anyone who seeks to sabotage your enjoyment of a healthy lifestyle when you learn about itlater on, We all want a cheerleader and listening ear in our partners whatever our personal interests. Watch for subtle looks or comments when you say you are going to workout, listen to hear if they are preferring unhealhy over healthy a majority of the time and be on the lookout for any changes in what they say in the way of encouragement that sounds more like jealousy.


I am 50 and my pic is one year old. I am not hardcore addicted to working out but feel I have achieved a pretty good balance. It is extremely difficult to find the same fitness level in 50 something men. But they are out there, you just have to look a little harder for what you want. I am honest in my profile that I have expertisein this area of my life and being upfront early helps weed out matches that don't share the same.


There are websites out there for like-minded fitness oriented singles. If nothing else, joining them is very motivational reading and idea exchange opportunities.


Congratulations on your overall healthy commitment. Hey, we are all not perfect in our endeavorsand have our vices but you are definitely on the right track! Good luck!
 
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