maple2 is offline maple2 Post #1  December 11,2008, 8:02pm
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How soon is it OK to become physically intimate? Guys, how do you feel about a woman who gives this up within the first 3 dates?


I feel that if the attraction is there, then it's OK to sleep with the other person on the 4th or 5th date. Being femnale, however, sleeping with the opposite sex almost always gives me an emotional edge which I know does not exist with men.
 
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bigfincat is offline bigfincat Post #2  December 11,2008, 8:24pm
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I say keep your clothes on through the first 2 dates. Any time afterthat is fine with me. What is the difference if we do it on the 3rd date or if we wait 2 months?? It will have NO bearing as to the depth or length of our relationship.
 
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tbesq is offline tbesq Post #3  December 11,2008, 9:11pm
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I think that in any situation, intimacy is driven by 2 C's - comfort and chemistry. If there is chemistry, there's likely to be sex in the future. Physical intimacy involves a certain degree of vulnerability that is usually accepted only when someone is comfortable enough to feel that vulnerable. When intimacy occurs should be driven by these two factors.


If that first date lasts all day and involves instant sparks, long walks on the beach, more conversation than you could have with the average person in 5 dates, then sex could come rather soon. But if you're going the "guided" route, with shorter, more formal dates, then it will certainly take at 3-4 dates before you might feel that comfortable.
 
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lacedwithhope is offline lacedwithhope Post #4  December 11,2008, 9:24pm
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Ha, ha, I know this is supposed to be a serious thread, and it IS a serious question and all. But I remember this same dilemma when I met my last boyfriend. For someone reason, like the OP I had this 5 date (minimum) timeline in my head. Because the 2nd and 3rd dates with my bf were late night dates that went beyond midnight, I counted each of them as two. Hence, 5 days. Voila!


BigFinCat is right:down the road, it won't really matter as long as you are together. As long as it isn't on the 1st or 2nd date. That can backfire, I hear! Good luck!
 
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Faira is offline Faira Post #5  December 11,2008, 9:26pm
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It's okay to become physically intimate whenever both people are okay with it. Whether that's the first date or the 3rd or the...pick the number. Depends totally on the people involved.


Faira
 
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Glider_Pilot is offline Glider_Pilot Post #6  December 11,2008, 10:47pm
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maple2, wrote :

How soon is it OK to become physically intimate?...
As soon as you're both ready for it, and ready to be either exclusive with each other, or clear (and open with each other) that it's "just physical". The worst thing you can do is let either him or yourself believe that it's more than it is. Or less. Unequal expectations is what causes the pain in this situation.


If you can't talk about sleeping together, you're not ready to do it.
 
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Pos65 is offline Pos65 Post #7  December 12,2008, 5:40am
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Glider_Pilot,377425 wrote :

maple2, wrote :


How soon is it OK to become physically intimate?...


If you can't talk about sleeping together, you're not ready to do it.
Ok, Ok Dad I heard you the first time! [i]
 
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littlebluemonkeymind is offline littlebluemonkeymind Post #8  December 12,2008, 5:47am
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Pos65,377532 wrote :

Glider_Pilot,377425 wrote :


maple2, wrote :


How soon is it OK to become physically intimate?...


If you can't talk about sleeping together, you're not ready to do it.


Ok, Ok Dad I heard you the first time!
You call GP Dad? Boy, could I have some twisted fun with that...but I'm behaving myself this morning, seriously...
 
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Pos65 is offline Pos65 Post #9  December 12,2008, 5:53am
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littlebluemonkeymind,377536 wrote :

Pos65,377532 wrote :


Glider_Pilot,377425 wrote :


maple2, wrote :


How soon is it OK to become physically intimate?...


If you can't talk about sleeping together, you're not ready to do it.


Ok, Ok Dad I heard you the first time!


You call GP Dad? Boy, could I have some twisted fun with that...but I'm behaving myself this morning, seriously...


All misbehaving is encouraged here..... you won't get punished. Unless, of course, you want to be........ :P
 
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panda20 is offline panda20 Post #10  December 12,2008, 6:20am
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Glider_Pilot,377425 wrote :

maple2, wrote :


How soon is it OK to become physically intimate? ...


As soon as you're both ready for it, and ready to be either exclusive with each other, or clear (and open with each other) that it's "just physical". The worst thing you can do is let either him or yourself believe that it's more than it is. Or less. Unequal expectations is what causes the pain in this situation.


If you can't talk about sleeping together, you're not ready to do it.
Perfect! Well put!
 
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