Temper

I can't say why this guy would have asked you this question, but I can honestly say that I have asked it myself of one or two of my matches for a couple of reasons. First of all, I believe that someone that loses their temper a lot probably either doesn't handle stressful situations very well or they have so much stress in their life right now that they explode at everything. Either way, that's not really something that I would want to bring into my life. Another reason I ask this question on occasion is I kind of doubt that someone that loses their temper often shares the same outlook on life as I do. Someone with a bad temper is usually someone embittered by the world and unwilling to laugh at the little obstacles in life. However, I do wonder if an angry person would be honest in answering that question. Oh well, I guess that's what open communication is for. I hope that may have shed a little light on the subject...

A very interesting post, Breezy, because a contact from another site has asked me i I have a temper and I thought it was an extremely odd question. Although I'd never ask the question, like you, one of my Can't Stands is someone who cannot manage their anger. It is just too much drama and stress to live with someone like that.


My sympathies to Tbesq and 6dle899. Which is interesting, because the way my contact tells it (I did ask WHY he was asking the question)his ex was violent. While I know this is more common than generally acknowledged by society,is it not the most usual domestic situation. I was a little wary of believing him - after all, I wondered was he really the one with an anger management problem, she stood up for herself and he now considers her violent?


I still haven't made up my mind - he seems like a nice man, but his questions about temper and nagging bother me.

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I still haven't made up my mind - he seems like a nice man, but his questions about temper and nagging bother me.

However, I do wonder if an angry person would be honest in answering that question. Oh well, I guess that's what open communication is for. I hope that may have shed a little light on the subject...

This question leaves a lot to be desired. A temper automatically assumes the person is abusive which is so not the case.


Here's a good example. I had a match who asked me how often i lost my temper, and i've very laid back, so my answer was pretty much never (don't remember if this was a canned response, or an open ended question).


We went out a couple times and she called me on that question and didn't believe me that I never lost my temper. She said to me that it was very wierd for her for someone to never lose their temper because in her opinion, something is always brewing and if you don't release it once in a while, its extremely unnerving. I told her that its not brewing for me because I really don't keep it in. It just goes through me and never gets pent up. In her opinion, everyone has a temper and they have to lose it once in a while just to stay balanced. Someone who has a lot more stress in their life is likely to lose it more often than soemone who does not. Thats an opinion, and a very valid one in my eyes.


I believe that if you have a temper, that doesn't mean you don't have control. Someone can have a terrible temper, but be totally fine without being abusive. Just because someone loses their temper doesn't mean they lose control. I think only a small percentage of the "temper" people actually cross the line of being abusive. To say someone has a temper is to automatically say someone is abusive, is unfair.